to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

(550 Posts)
BriansWife Thu 11-Apr-13 20:34:06

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

IYoniWantedAMassage Fri 12-Apr-13 14:11:22

I have to say, I have had one of Brians massages. 'Tis really nice.
No need to shave beforehand.
He's an excellent guitar player.

BriansWife Fri 12-Apr-13 14:14:32

Both the spiritual and physical state of the yoni, e.g. Becky's yoni had suffered both physically and spiritually.

AnAirOfHope Fri 12-Apr-13 14:22:28

What does he offer men?

twitchno1 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:25:26

I dont log on here much but if all the threads are like this one, i will be on every day!!!!! I am laughing so much im crying!!!! 😂

GinandYonic Fri 12-Apr-13 14:26:53

he whups it Lingham style

grin

BriansWife Fri 12-Apr-13 14:32:29

Brian offers men a tantric massage but confines himself to backs, shoulders and necks as he found many men to be uncomfortable with the idea of him touching their lingam.

Does he bring these women to orgasm Brians wife?? Are you alright with that?

YoniTime Fri 12-Apr-13 14:45:07

I heard that there is nothing sexual about massaging someone's yoni to orgasm, Libertine.

BriansWife Fri 12-Apr-13 14:56:35

LibertineLover earlier on in the thread I explained that it would be selfish of me to deny other women the chance to benefit from Brian's skills. It is more than simply giving them an orgasm anyway, surely they could do that themselves? It is a deeply spiritual experience.

Brian's back from his work at the docks and having a rest before embarking on this evening's activities and I really must turn off this computer now and get on with some housework. I never thought I would find the world of MN so strangely addictive.

Does Brian travel any further that 50 miles from Hull?

SueFawley Fri 12-Apr-13 15:07:25

Is he in the attic?

glossyflower Fri 12-Apr-13 15:13:11

If a group of 10 can gather in one place Brian will offer a 50% discount. However, depending on the state of the yoni it can take some time for the sacred waters to be released, so please allow 2 hours per person and Brian will need a 15 minute break between clients, and coffee

Wow, he's got stamina too! A group of ten allowing 2 hours per person AND 15 mins between each, that's about a 22 and a half hour Yoni marathon!!

KareninsGirl Fri 12-Apr-13 15:22:30

This thread has reminded me of this:

"I'm Brian, and so is my wife!"

Maryz Fri 12-Apr-13 16:41:57

If I ever meet a mother with a small child called Brian, I will know for certain she isn't a mumsnetter grin

<apologies to all mums of Brians>

Oblomov Fri 12-Apr-13 16:45:51

Bwian. He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy.

fallon8 Fri 12-Apr-13 16:52:50

The name Brian and tantric yoni.dont seem to be a match do they?

KareninsGirl Fri 12-Apr-13 16:54:09

Well, put them together and you get 'briony'...

Quite a charming name IMO.

smile

fallon8 Fri 12-Apr-13 16:57:43

Just read the original post..Blimey,all that and he just needs a coffee? Does he travel? I live in Scotland....

CajaDeLaMemoria Fri 12-Apr-13 17:04:18

Karenins I was going to legally change my name to Briony.

I think I might give it a miss, although Yoni is now a contender...

KareninsGirl Fri 12-Apr-13 17:06:53

caja, how about 'Briyoni' as a compromise?

ItsYoniYappy Fri 12-Apr-13 17:13:04

sad

Someone stole my Flying pickets NN

<eye up thread and waits on YoniYou explaining self>

I knew I should have took it there unlike some I cannot sit on here all day

because my mum was coming and she think I am an MN addict

infamouspoo Fri 12-Apr-13 17:21:22

22 hour yoni marathon <weeping>

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint Fri 12-Apr-13 20:41:35

I'm surprised he doesn't suffer from RSI

edwinbear Fri 12-Apr-13 23:38:44

BriansWife I am currently recovering from yoni surgery. My consultant tells me my yoni may be tight for a while, is this something Brian could help with? How would he feel about discovering the odd stray undissolved yoni stitch?

OhDearNigel Sat 13-Apr-13 00:22:02

does anyone remember the lingham massage episode of sex and the city where they go to the tantric workshop ?

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