Dh makes enormous faux pas

(85 Posts)
Doubtfuldaphne Wed 10-Apr-13 20:49:17

Earlier, my dh decided to get some red wine. He was busy on the computer when older dc asked him to get our dd a bottle of squash.
I went upstairs to find it on the floor.. It looked very dark for squash so I went to dilute it as I only allow very weak squash. I then realised it was the bloody wine.
I ran downstairs to tell him. He didn't believe me until I made him smell it. How could anyone be so stupid?
He has recently been signed of work with depression and is finding it hard to concentrate and think straight but i am really disturbed by this and what might have happened if she had drank any.
I don't know what to do really.
I'm crying sad

pictish Thu 11-Apr-13 13:22:39

What a lot of fuss some posters here are making about a simple mistake.

Lucyellensmum95 Thu 11-Apr-13 13:14:14

cumfy, don't worry about it eh! Its not important now is it! hmm

cumfy Thu 11-Apr-13 13:03:21

You say it was diluted, but it wouldn't have had a dark colour if it had been diluted even as little as 2:1, so I am still puzzled as to what DH actually did.

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 13:02:56

Thanks smile we really need it!

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 11-Apr-13 10:43:35

Ah.

I wouldn't start them til after the drive, then.

I'd also plan the route carefully to minimise concentration time. Stop off at least once an hour, to give him a break, even if he says he doesn't need it. That helped me hugely when I had to keep driving around despite brain fog.

Then start the ADs when you are back. It won't make that much difference, really, because they take some time to work anyway.

Enjoy your weekend away smile

Lucyellensmum95 Thu 11-Apr-13 10:38:54

Definately get him to start them when you come back if you can't drive. They can make you feel really nauseous too when you first start taking them so if you are having a weekend away it may well be a nice weekend anyway (heres hoping). Four days wont make a difference in the scheme of things. I suffer from depression and anxiety and i know how awful it can be - i hope he feels better soon xx

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 10:11:46

Bit worried now as he will be driving us to our weekend away tomorrow.. It's a 4 hour drive! Eek
I told him to maybe start the ADs when we get back in case they make him feel worse.
It's times like this I wish I knew how to drive..

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 11-Apr-13 09:15:01

I second making sure that he avoids anything dangerous at the moment - driving is an obvious one, but also operating machinery and stuff. It's not worth the extra risk.

I hope his Ads take effect quickly, and make him feel better. It's a horrid situation all round, but you sound like you are doing the best you can!

I agree re not buying alcohol, too. It can be very addictive when you are depressed and it'll increase the time until his Ads work.

Feminine Thu 11-Apr-13 09:01:57

Some cheap wine, comes in very similar bottles to cheap squash.

If not concentrating at all its not difficult to make that mistake.

op sounds like you have masses on your plate, Good Luck! smile

desertgirl Thu 11-Apr-13 08:56:40

I have a friend who sent her DS (of 6 or so) to school with a bottle of water, just after a weekend of camping - where they had taken gin in a water bottle. Fortunately he complained that it smelled funny and didn't drink any. She was fine, not depressed or aanything, just in a rush. It really might just be one of those things and not specifially depression related....

Depression is very nasty though - please do look for some support for yourself too, and the best of luck to your DH in finding a way through it.

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 07:29:08

Oops I mean ds didn't do it!
Too early to think straight

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 06:42:28

It was diluted and dd definitely didn't do it, he was upstairs smile
I am going to talk to him about leaving out the alcohol until he's starting to feel better. I can't imagine mixing AD's with alcohol would be a good idea.

cumfy Thu 11-Apr-13 00:24:27

Did you check DD's mouth for staining ?

If the wine had been diluted, it would make sense, but I'm having difficulty picturing how DH accidentally poured a whole undiluted bottle.

Are you sure DS didn't do it ?

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 10-Apr-13 23:26:15

I am currently signed off work with depression. For the first couple of months I could do almost nothing because I was so forgetful I was a danger to myself and others. I haven't driven for three months because I can literally forget what I am saying, thinking or doing.

I am improving having had meds and therapy which is ongoing. I hope he gets some decent help.

Personally I think alcohol is really not a good idea if your depressed because it is a depressant.

Ouchmyhead Wed 10-Apr-13 23:13:45

Ah it was a mistake, one I bet he feels awful about! There was no harm done, and it sounds like your DH really needs you to be on his side at the moment and not make him feel any worse. My DP has suffered with depression, it's a horrible illness but with the right medication and help it can be sorted, DP has been off them for 2 years now. It took me a few months to realise he just really needed me to overlook certain things he did; if he snapped at me or forgot something I'd retaliate which would make it worse. Instead I had to learn to take a breath, and just let it go, if there was no harm done, I wouldnt make a fuss. I understand its a bit different as you have children, but this time I really think it would do more harm than good to make a big deal out of it. I would agree with the not drinking on the meds though, it can send you really funny drinking on anti-depressants. Hope he improves soon.

Lucyellensmum95 Wed 10-Apr-13 23:09:03

To be fair, i was showing my DD how to make scrambled eggs once and said, now you put the milk in - she said "mum, thats fabric softener!" hmm

No harm done - but do get him to mention to the GP that he is very distracted just now, does he drive?

foreveronadiet i think you must be hypocglycemic making an inappropriate comment like that - have a biscuit i think you need it!

Hope the OP is getting a good night's sleep.

directoroflegacy Wed 10-Apr-13 23:00:38

Told you OP, now instead of worrying re: your dh you can worry about yr dd's teeth!!
Ribena bottle could kind of feel similar to a wine bottle if you are v v distracted and not yourself??

Xmasbaby11 Wed 10-Apr-13 22:58:47

Hope your DH is OK OP. That must have been a nasty scare. I think it's quite a serious mistake to make, and you probably need to be very vigilant and keep alcohol out of the house.

Best wishes.

KathySeldon Wed 10-Apr-13 22:57:36

We (dh) gave our 8yr old ds rum and coke instead of coke once. Ds drank first and said the coke tasted funny. Dh swiftly swapped the drinks over! No harm done.

Agree laying off the alcohol would be good if he's depressed.

I take AD's and they really help. Just make sure you say positive things to him all the time to help him. Good luck.

yeah. forever. I think we all know that. including OP. Not really the central issue.
And as I said above, my ds had a bottle until 5 years. only at night. but it mattered to him.

But really really not the central issue.

foreverondiet Wed 10-Apr-13 22:50:52

Your 23 month old will not like the taste of wine wine so no harm. Even if she did it was diluted.

But you were U to suggest putting squash in a bottle. Not good for teeth.

Bottles good for water and for milk for small babies. Not sure why a 26 month old toddler would have a bottle? Thought the advice was to withdraw by 12 months? Fair enough for milk or water after that if they won't drink from anything else.

countrykitten Wed 10-Apr-13 22:36:03

Not really a faux pas OP!

pedants anonymous

SlambangSweepstakeQueen Wed 10-Apr-13 22:32:59

Oh dear. Wine bottles (glass) and squash bottles (plastic) don't look very similar, do they? confused

We spent a holiday giving our dcs (then 6 and 4) a breakfast cocktail of all the different flavoured fruit juices in the local shop. Only problem was we didn't realise until day 5 that the grape juice was actually wine. (It was in cartons next to the orange juice).

I think you may need to keep a beady eye on your dh for a while. Good luck.

good call lucyellen.

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