Dh makes enormous faux pas

(85 Posts)
Doubtfuldaphne Wed 10-Apr-13 20:49:17

Earlier, my dh decided to get some red wine. He was busy on the computer when older dc asked him to get our dd a bottle of squash.
I went upstairs to find it on the floor.. It looked very dark for squash so I went to dilute it as I only allow very weak squash. I then realised it was the bloody wine.
I ran downstairs to tell him. He didn't believe me until I made him smell it. How could anyone be so stupid?
He has recently been signed of work with depression and is finding it hard to concentrate and think straight but i am really disturbed by this and what might have happened if she had drank any.
I don't know what to do really.
I'm crying sad

Doubtfuldaphne Wed 10-Apr-13 22:10:17

I will contact the support charities - good idea

just see how it goes. don't stress until you really need to. Its great he is getting help. Just make sure you do look after yourself properly so you can support him as appropriate, not so you lose out. Its a fine balancing act. But it sounds promising. and remember, we are all here to hold your hand when you need it.

trixymalixy Wed 10-Apr-13 22:13:29

I think you're overreacting. DH gave cow's milk allergic DS cow's milk in his cereal because he was distracted. I tore a strip off him, then did exactly the same thing myself a week later blush

trix, honestly, do read the OP properly. Their family is in a bit of flux at the moment.

kinkyfuckery Wed 10-Apr-13 22:17:00

What was your DHs reaction once you'd told him his mistake?

Doubtfuldaphne Wed 10-Apr-13 22:25:44

Disbelief! He just couldn't believe it! I stormed off for a good half hour

And told mnet, naturally!

well that is a good reaction. yes he fucked up. but did not try to defend it.

Doubtfuldaphne Wed 10-Apr-13 22:27:12

In the end I just if there's any doubt that you need to get better, there is none now
And he looked pretty sad sad

As the song says, things can only get better.

Lucyellensmum95 Wed 10-Apr-13 22:29:29

What medication is your DH due to start tomorrow - i really think he sounds quite ill and he needs to tell the doctor what he did. With certain medication it can make you feel worse before you feel better and it is important the doctor knows the full story as they can give him something to get him over the first few weeks of the ADs which can be a bit fraught.

good call lucyellen.

SlambangSweepstakeQueen Wed 10-Apr-13 22:32:59

Oh dear. Wine bottles (glass) and squash bottles (plastic) don't look very similar, do they? confused

We spent a holiday giving our dcs (then 6 and 4) a breakfast cocktail of all the different flavoured fruit juices in the local shop. Only problem was we didn't realise until day 5 that the grape juice was actually wine. (It was in cartons next to the orange juice).

I think you may need to keep a beady eye on your dh for a while. Good luck.

countrykitten Wed 10-Apr-13 22:36:03

Not really a faux pas OP!

pedants anonymous

foreverondiet Wed 10-Apr-13 22:50:52

Your 23 month old will not like the taste of wine wine so no harm. Even if she did it was diluted.

But you were U to suggest putting squash in a bottle. Not good for teeth.

Bottles good for water and for milk for small babies. Not sure why a 26 month old toddler would have a bottle? Thought the advice was to withdraw by 12 months? Fair enough for milk or water after that if they won't drink from anything else.

yeah. forever. I think we all know that. including OP. Not really the central issue.
And as I said above, my ds had a bottle until 5 years. only at night. but it mattered to him.

But really really not the central issue.

KathySeldon Wed 10-Apr-13 22:57:36

We (dh) gave our 8yr old ds rum and coke instead of coke once. Ds drank first and said the coke tasted funny. Dh swiftly swapped the drinks over! No harm done.

Agree laying off the alcohol would be good if he's depressed.

I take AD's and they really help. Just make sure you say positive things to him all the time to help him. Good luck.

Xmasbaby11 Wed 10-Apr-13 22:58:47

Hope your DH is OK OP. That must have been a nasty scare. I think it's quite a serious mistake to make, and you probably need to be very vigilant and keep alcohol out of the house.

Best wishes.

directoroflegacy Wed 10-Apr-13 23:00:38

Told you OP, now instead of worrying re: your dh you can worry about yr dd's teeth!!
Ribena bottle could kind of feel similar to a wine bottle if you are v v distracted and not yourself??

Hope the OP is getting a good night's sleep.

Lucyellensmum95 Wed 10-Apr-13 23:09:03

To be fair, i was showing my DD how to make scrambled eggs once and said, now you put the milk in - she said "mum, thats fabric softener!" hmm

No harm done - but do get him to mention to the GP that he is very distracted just now, does he drive?

foreveronadiet i think you must be hypocglycemic making an inappropriate comment like that - have a biscuit i think you need it!

Ouchmyhead Wed 10-Apr-13 23:13:45

Ah it was a mistake, one I bet he feels awful about! There was no harm done, and it sounds like your DH really needs you to be on his side at the moment and not make him feel any worse. My DP has suffered with depression, it's a horrible illness but with the right medication and help it can be sorted, DP has been off them for 2 years now. It took me a few months to realise he just really needed me to overlook certain things he did; if he snapped at me or forgot something I'd retaliate which would make it worse. Instead I had to learn to take a breath, and just let it go, if there was no harm done, I wouldnt make a fuss. I understand its a bit different as you have children, but this time I really think it would do more harm than good to make a big deal out of it. I would agree with the not drinking on the meds though, it can send you really funny drinking on anti-depressants. Hope he improves soon.

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 10-Apr-13 23:26:15

I am currently signed off work with depression. For the first couple of months I could do almost nothing because I was so forgetful I was a danger to myself and others. I haven't driven for three months because I can literally forget what I am saying, thinking or doing.

I am improving having had meds and therapy which is ongoing. I hope he gets some decent help.

Personally I think alcohol is really not a good idea if your depressed because it is a depressant.

cumfy Thu 11-Apr-13 00:24:27

Did you check DD's mouth for staining ?

If the wine had been diluted, it would make sense, but I'm having difficulty picturing how DH accidentally poured a whole undiluted bottle.

Are you sure DS didn't do it ?

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 06:42:28

It was diluted and dd definitely didn't do it, he was upstairs smile
I am going to talk to him about leaving out the alcohol until he's starting to feel better. I can't imagine mixing AD's with alcohol would be a good idea.

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 07:29:08

Oops I mean ds didn't do it!
Too early to think straight

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