To want to kill colleague who says 'reach out' instead of 'contact'

(189 Posts)
Themobstersknife Tue 09-Apr-13 22:00:46

I know I am, but just back from mat leave, the bastard has done a land grab and now I want to kill him, especially when he says crap like this!

saffronwblue Sat 13-Apr-13 08:09:30

This may out me. My employer is spending millions moving us all into a brand new building where we will be seated in tight rows like battery hens and reception will have the right to refuse us access to the "client side" if we are not smartly enough dressed.
The poor people organising the details of the ghastly move, the PAs and other admin people, have to wear Tshirts on Fridays proclaiming them to be Move Champions.

Cazza72 Sat 13-Apr-13 07:40:36

Oh ... And in said pods there are pod captains!! Fucking funny! All I have running through my head is 'Thunderbirds are go ...' I actually did laugh out loud the first time I heard it, but have learnt to just laugh on the inside now as everyone else seems to take it deadly seriously.

SinisterBuggyMonth Fri 12-Apr-13 23:38:18

"park that idea" is one I hear all the time, meaning "its a shit idea, we're not going to do anything with it, but print it out anyway" I get a mental image of ideas stacked up in a car park.

Also I work with designers who are always saying then want to make something looks "sexier" like they are going to put high heels and lipstick on and ad for guttering.

littletingoddess Fri 12-Apr-13 22:08:51

YANBU at being annoyed. If someone says 'reach out' I automatically assume that contact may or may not be made. Please 'contact' me, do not reach out. FacebookWanker I would be tempted to ask your person their weather predictions, and make sure to get vairy technical regarding wind speed, direction, atmospheric pressure... after all, that's what they're doing by licking their finger and sticking it in the air, eh? grin

FacebookWanker Fri 12-Apr-13 22:00:05

I also hate it when people doing a presentation lick their finger and stick it in the air...and all this rubbish about things being on your radar...

christinarossetti Fri 12-Apr-13 20:21:33

"Is it vanilla?"

As opposed to more elaborate sexual conduct, do you mean?

JojoLapin Fri 12-Apr-13 19:35:06

"Thanks for reaching out, let's take it offline, is it vanilla?..." Daily speak in my office but last week I was in meeting where a very irritating guy said "he is not one to follow the elephants". I still don't know what he meant.

It made him sound like a rich version of David Brent. It was weirdly pathetic and fun at the same time... I enjoyed it.

Witco Fri 12-Apr-13 15:35:02

YANBU! I used to work for a global company with its HQ in the USA and the crap like "reach out" used to drive me distraction!

Zone2mum Fri 12-Apr-13 15:30:31

meant to add, YANBU OP

Zone2mum Fri 12-Apr-13 15:29:46

new particular pet hate is using "download" to mean "tell you" as in "I can download about that later" arghhhh
I am a person not a computer

"going forwards" is another bete noir - you mean "in future", you arse

I've noticed a nee one recentlt but cannot remember it at all!
I'm also wondering whether I say any stupid stuff lie this? Do you actually notice, or are you oblivious, while you smirk at others?

Stepissue Fri 12-Apr-13 15:06:49

yesterday my boss said we needed to get something 'into the dna of the business'

I'm ashamed to say that by 2pm I'd used it myself in another meeting blush grin

IT IS CONTAGIOUS FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 12:50:55

YANBU. My DH says "going forward" instead of "in future". Seriously, like, "Going forward I think we should use the green bin bags, instead of the black ones." Something he picked up at work. I mock him every time.

bequiasweet Fri 12-Apr-13 12:44:01

how about repurposing your colleague, OP.

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Fri 12-Apr-13 12:36:33

I do engage people with projects blush In my defence, it's not just talking to them, it's getting them interested, involved and more likely to do what I want them to do

Reach out is pretty awful, doesn't seem to have got as far as my employer yet. Mercifully.

Argh cutted up pear

I like it because its instantly recongnisable as an mnism

I think the mn one should be (sorry can't remember who mentioned it)

"Go for the cutter up pear."

A bit like don't reinvent the wheel (an oldie) but implies don't do something yourself when you can spend a bit of money and get it ready prepared for you

Floweryhat Fri 12-Apr-13 11:48:13

Don't worry Mandy. When you assume, you make an ass of u and me.

Apparently hmm

Mandy2003 Fri 12-Apr-13 11:21:49

I'd written a list of tasks for someone who is going to job share with me. I thought about putting something to the effect of if you're not sure, ask a manager. And to my horror, I suddenly thought up this "classic" to put at the end of the list:

"There is no ass in ask but there is in assume" Eeek! I've heard the ass in assume bit before but I'm sure the ask bit is new blush

saffronwblue Fri 12-Apr-13 09:19:37

Today I had a meeting where someone said "dimensionalize". They had it written on their slide and all.

christinarossetti Fri 12-Apr-13 09:10:42

Oh, yes, I had a meeting with someone in a 'pod'.

Looked like a couple of bits of MDF thrown together, but what do I know.

Cazza72 Thu 11-Apr-13 22:24:20

Ha! Sometimes it just seems to 'fit' but I find almost any alternative phrase rather than that - I'm stubborn! We don't have buckets -we have pods!

Glittertwins Thu 11-Apr-13 21:38:05

We have the whole lot of DVD, I love it!

FreudiansSlipper Thu 11-Apr-13 21:17:15

Glittertwins I have just watched the first episode of Drop the Dead Donkey Gus comes out with some classics. Off to download rest of the series grin

Themobstersknife Thu 11-Apr-13 20:06:51

But will BE using it soon! Tut!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now