To find it very hard to form unshakeable opinions on anything?

(27 Posts)
CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Tue 09-Apr-13 00:08:55

I have been thinking about this on and off for a while now and the death of Margaret Thatcher has only reinforced my belief that I don't really have many opinions on anything! blush

Just when I think I have an opinion on something, it can be anything; Thatcher, the welfare state, fox hunting, immigration; I will then read another article or speak to someone else with an opposing view and feel like perhaps I was wrong and my viewpoint changes slightly. I often feel like I never know enough about anything to form an opinion. So I read up on things and try and find out more about them, only to find myself less sure of my opinions than I was before!

Does anyone else feel like this? I am sick of sitting on the fence about things, there seem to be so few things that I'm certain of anymore! Am I over thinking things, or just ignorant?

UnrequitedSkink Tue 09-Apr-13 00:21:55

Nope, I'm 100 per cent with you. Unless someone persuades me otherwise. The only thing I have strong opinions on is child cruelty and neglect. I think that's why I never get involved in any of the bunch fights on here - I just don't have the energy to argue my position when I can easily see the other person's pov. I'm keeping well clear of the Thatcher vitriol.

UnrequitedSkink Tue 09-Apr-13 00:22:21

BUN fights.

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:23:23

You sound like a character that used to be in the fast show (if you can remember that?) grin

If you accept that changing the way you feel about things isn't being deceptive or inconsistent, it's a lot easier.

I sit on the fence about a lot of things, but I'm really passionate about a few.

I haven't got the energy to feel strongly and act on more than a few, and would say it's better to be middle t'road about most things than one of those tossers who have an opinion on every fucking thing hmm and have the overwhelming urge to try and force you into thinking the same.

wohmum Tue 09-Apr-13 00:24:32

Yep, me too!

I'm sure it's a positive trait to be able to see someone else's POV , but would be great to have my own strong convictions on things.

SomewhereInTheMiddle Tue 09-Apr-13 00:25:00

Well you can probably tell from my name that I think YANBU! grin

I don't really understand people who take very entrenched viewpoints on things. I can almost always see both sides to an argument/opinion/situation.

However I am a dreadfully indecisive person - I guess that's the downside of seeing things in shades of grey rather than black and white. wink

Footface Tue 09-Apr-13 00:25:34

But surely seeing something from some else point if view us a good trait?

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:25:57

There must be something that really outrages you enough to make your blood boil wohmum?

flaminhoopsaloolah Tue 09-Apr-13 00:26:19

You mean your opinions change with new information? I think that's a wonderfully healthy sign of a reasonable, intelligent, empathic individual who can think flexibly. Nothing wrong with that at all. Bet you can freely admit when you think you might have been wrong too instead of bullying the other person into thinking they're some sort of lunatic for holding a different opinion to yourself.

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:26:20

Like an injustice to someone/something?

Hopasholic Tue 09-Apr-13 00:26:59

Are you a Libran?

Or are you not sure grin

grimbletart Tue 09-Apr-13 00:30:27

Another one here. I often find myself playing devil's advocate, not out of perversity but because I genuinely can't understand how people can take extreme positions on, say, religion, politics etc. and not apparently ever acknowledge that others might see things differently or, heaven forbid, even have a point on occasions.

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:30:59

Definitely flamin, especially bullying the other person by belittling and humiliating them and their opinions.

Hate that and refuse to play the game.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Tue 09-Apr-13 00:31:20

Ah, I'm glad it's not just me! There are a few things that I feel very strongly about and that I think I have a definite opinion on. They include organised religion (anti) and equality of opportunity (pro).

I think a lot of the time that it isn't so much indecisiveness, more that I will here some make an argument for something and think, "actually, that's a good point that I hadn't thought of, perhaps I should consider that."

And, yes, I will definitely be steering clear of the Thatcher threads. There are some very made up minds on those boards! confused

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Tue 09-Apr-13 00:32:51

*hear someone

flaminhoopsaloolah Tue 09-Apr-13 01:33:30

Agentzigzag - that's the hallmark of a bully smile Though I do shamefully admit I've managed to get pulled in on occasion and bitten back.

chris481 Tue 09-Apr-13 13:52:20

OP sounds like a moderate, made me think of this from the Economist:-

"SOME years ago a satirical cartoon strip set in ancient Rome, the very fine “Hom Sap” series, imagined an uprising by moderates. “What do we want? Gradual change!” chanted a band of tunic-clad centrists. “When do we want it? In due course!”

www.economist.com/news/united-states/21575777-voter-unhappiness-not-invitation-rational-bustle-and-take

cumfy Tue 09-Apr-13 14:04:45

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Just console yourself that you're thinking, they are rearranging their prejudices.

I think it's a positive thing. Otherwise what's the pointing debate? Might as well just stick your fingers in your ears.. Very childish IMO to be unable to see another's point of view and very immature to ever admit someone on 'the other side' may have a valid point

PeteHornberger Tue 09-Apr-13 14:17:16

I'm the same OP, I'm a libran and am also hopelessly indecisive grin

I hate this trait sometimes, especially the indecisiveness, as I think it makes me look weak - although every now and again I console myself that it's a good thing to be able to see all sides of the story.

It helps you to come to a carefully considered conclusion - bit much when you're just deciding what to have for lunch though...

Pigsmummy Tue 09-Apr-13 14:46:52

Don't sweat the small stuff, you are clearly an articulate and rational person, most issues have an apposing argument, you are doing right to try to read up about these things and when something comes along that is hugely important to you then you will discover what matters to you and will have some opinions. In the mean time sit back, watch and absorb

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 09-Apr-13 14:58:43

I think there is a difference between not having an opinion, and having an opinion but just not caring as passionately about it as others do, and again, as having an opinion, but that opinion being fluid because you don't feel you know enough about it yet.

I get a bit fed up with people who have one set point of view about an issue and dismiss anyone who disagrees. But I imagine sometimes I appear like that - over issues that I care very much about. Really it is just that I care very much about those things and have considered those alternate opinions before in detail, so I don't feel the need to rehash those arguments to know I don't agree.

Andro Tue 09-Apr-13 15:06:33

Most of my opinions are subject to re-evaluation depending on new info etc, things upon which my opinion will not change include:

The death penalty - it's always wrong
Anonymity for both survivors of and suspects in sex crime cases (anonymity revoked for the suspect upon conviction)
Violence within a relationship - hit me once in anger and we're done!

Andro Tue 09-Apr-13 15:08:38

Meant to add, YANBU to not have set opinions...I'm sure you'd develop them soon enough if needed.

YANBU. Things change, life changes, you meet people who change, and your perceptions and opinions change. I am in the middle about most things now!

I reckon that you'll have 'set opinions' about things more than you realise though.

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