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To think posting about your pregnancy on social networks is insensitive?

(210 Posts)
ivanapoo Sun 07-Apr-13 18:59:06

I don't mean the odd post here and there, I mean daily or more frequent updates/photos of scans, things you've bought or made for the baby, the "delicious" glass of Appletize you're enjoying, how sick you're feeling, how big your bump is, and so on ad infinitum?

Not only is it more boring than a parking thread on AIBU for all the friends in whose newsfeeds your updates appear, but for many women of childbearing age there's a good chance your peers/friends may be TTC, or unable to conceive, or wishing they had a partner to conceive with.

Almost as bad are the parents who detail every tiny little boring thing their child has done that day. I'm still waiting for someone to Instagram a picture of their baby's shitty nappy.

exoticfruits Tue 09-Apr-13 16:03:34

I've lost track of what's actually "allowed" on Facebook at all these days: no trivial status updates, no food photos, no holidays (or watch how many "posey" photos you have in there, and make sure that you remove any trace of the nice hotel you might have been staying in, in case anyone gets jealous) no kids, no declarations of love and affection.....the list is endless.

I think it would be a lot simpler to suspend their FB account and not go on. People seem to have all sorts of friends who are not really friends at all.

lovetomoan Tue 09-Apr-13 14:41:02

Still, I think YABU.

lovetomoan Tue 09-Apr-13 14:39:03

I didn't post anything about my pregnancy on fb because lots of people in my family can't have children. And I was also told it would be difficult for me to conceive. But lots of people told me I was OTT for 'hiding' my pregnancy on fb.

Gruffalump Tue 09-Apr-13 13:34:54

YABU

And self-obsessed

shoesandwine Tue 09-Apr-13 13:06:24

YABU.

If you are genuinely upset by things that are making your Facebook "friends" happy, then they're obviously not your friends, are they? In that case, hide their posts or defriend them.

For the record, I'm TTC and my friends' pregnancy posts don't bother me in the slightest. As in all area of life, everyone has something that the next person doesn't. That's life. I'm sure my friends with children could be equally "hurt" by my blatent flaunting of exotic holidays or meals out.

I've lost track of what's actually "allowed" on Facebook at all these days: no trivial status updates, no food photos, no holidays (or watch how many "posey" photos you have in there, and make sure that you remove any trace of the nice hotel you might have been staying in, in case anyone gets jealous) no kids, no declarations of love and affection.....the list is endless.

abbyfromoz Tue 09-Apr-13 12:45:34

And just to add to that- i have a reason for posting pics of my DD. Her entire family (including grandparents) are thousands of miles away and have missed every milestone including my growing bump, scan pictures, supporting me through morning sickness, seeing her decorated nursery, seeing her smile for the first time, walk, talk.... So my Facebook which is only viewable for close friends and family is my way of keeping them in touch, which they appreciate more than anything. If other friends have a problem with it then that is just it- THEIR problem.

abbyfromoz Tue 09-Apr-13 12:38:14

YABU. It's insensitive of you to not be happy for them.
I understand how hard this can be. My sister and i were pregnant at the same time. Mine ended in MC at 11 weeks. She went on to have a healthy baby. I was terribly sad for a while thinking why her and not me? But why not her? She deserves happiness. Just because i couldn't be a mum at the time doesn't mean other people can't enjoy every single detail of their special time and share their happiness with the world. Try to appreciate how special this time is for other people and maybe it will being you a little joy too.

oldraver Tue 09-Apr-13 12:29:53

Yes constant posting about one particular subject can be tedious... but you shouldn't have to hold yourself in check just on the offchance someone may be offended.

MidniteScribbler Tue 09-Apr-13 12:10:10

It's not about them not considering that what they are posting might offend others, it's just that some people can be so boring, regardless of what they are posting. One person on mine is "just got out of bed". "having a shower before going to work", "lunchbreak and eating a sandwich", "time for bed". I don't care. She posts about fifty status' per day. Boring. God help us all if she gets pregnant again.

PurpleStorm Tue 09-Apr-13 12:03:04

YABU.

Yes, constant posts about pregnancy can get boring, and yes, people who are having fertility problems may find them upsetting - but just about every post on FB can be perceived as boring or insensitive for some reason.

And some of the people posting about their pregnancies may have had problems conceiving themselves, or be posting to keep family and friends living far away updated.

teacherandguideleader Tue 09-Apr-13 10:36:46

I get a little upset about my friends posting news of their impending marriages and pregnancies but I realise it is just jealousy on my part as I am aware the things I want most in life might not happen for me. That doesn't mean they should stop posting about it, I just need to deal with my feelings.

The only posts I think are insensitive are when people complain about their children being at home as they are driving them made, or mention something about 'another boy rather than a girl' or complaining about family - some of us would love to be in that position.

AfricanExport Tue 09-Apr-13 09:45:07

YABVU

What's next, can't mention parents as some people's have died, can't mention your husband as some people are divorced/widowed.

I defriended someone after a live birth video went up. Really, no one needs to see that! That's just too much.

If you don't like, don't read it.

Withalittlesparkle Tue 09-Apr-13 09:35:05

Ivanapoo I'm being a tad lazy, and not reading the entire thread but I agree with you, constant posts about anything are irritating, especially baby related if you are TTC.

I was once friends with a woman on facebook who delightedly posted a picture of some maternity pads she'd just bought (unused obviously) but was there really any need to share that? Ive never posted a picture of a pack of tampons with the tag "look I'm on the blob" (gross) obviously she got defriended pretty quickly.

My opinion hasnt changed since falling pregnant either. I'm 30 weeks on Friday after TTC for 12 months with PCOS and being told that the chances of natural conception were very slim (I like to prove people wrong) and since getting my BFP I've posted 1 picture on facebook of a 4D scan I had done, but then recently I opened a new facebook account so I could have purely close friends and family on there!

ivanapoo Tue 09-Apr-13 09:34:20

Sometimes I wonder how the world went round pre Facebook and Internet lol.

Ha yes, carrier pigeons maybe?

Personally I'd find it a bit strange if a good friend or close relative chose to "tell" me they were PG via a social networking site...

ivanapoo Tue 09-Apr-13 09:24:27

wintertime what a kind thing to say, thank you.

And thanks to people like glossy and vintage clock who in addition to actually reading my posts properly clarified my points to other posters.

I completely agree that constant posts on any topic can be tedious. Even when posted by one of my dear friends or relatives.

Also just to add I think it's possible to be delighted for a friend but devastated for oneself.

Well, YABU because everyone has the right to post what they want.

However, you also have the right to defriend or hide their posts if you don't want to read them.

Suzietwo Mon 08-Apr-13 14:34:18

that is true.

this place also

i am always calmer when i stay away from social media in all forms.

glossyflower Mon 08-Apr-13 14:28:11

Sometimes I wonder how the world went round pre Facebook and Internet lol.

EldritchCleavage Mon 08-Apr-13 14:26:19

people seem terribly self absorbed. everyone has their own shit to deal with. stop thinking yours is more important than anyone elses

True, except self-absorption and thinking your shit, absolutely all of it, is terribly important is what social media use is all about. That's the point of it. There's no way the people who use it are going to throw some kind of sensitivity and dignity screen around pregnancy and leave it off their news feed. That's the way of the world now.

ItsallisnowaFeegle Mon 08-Apr-13 14:14:41

YABU- my FB my choice if I spend my time posting about my pg/ newborn/ baby.

Don't like it? Unfriend me, miseryguts!

joiemecconue Mon 08-Apr-13 14:07:44

I think people will upset and excluded if they aren't informed after 12w so do you contact them all individually hmm

Suzietwo Mon 08-Apr-13 14:05:41

people seem terribly self absorbed. everyone has their own shit to deal with. stop thinking yours is more important than anyone elses

joiemecconue Mon 08-Apr-13 14:03:41

when and how can people announce it sensitively on twitter or FB then?

SatsukiKusukabe Mon 08-Apr-13 14:02:10

for the record infertility is not the same

wanting a new house
not being able to home educate hmm
not getting a holiday
or putting your cat down.

would people please stop saying dumb shit.

Fakebook Mon 08-Apr-13 13:55:23

I agree. I think it's stupid, crude at times and insensitive to write about your pregnancy all the time. It's one thing writing things anonymously for advice on a forum, but on Facebook, I really don't want to see pics of naked bumps and cleavage size. People seem to lose all dignity.

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