to be completely would up to the point I'm fuming over friends comments

(65 Posts)
parisfernandez Sun 07-Apr-13 17:38:49

I posted a post up on facebook earlier asking if anyone fancied a night out tonight because there is a good band on in my local pub. I have not had a night out since last October and i split up with my DP last month. I was thinking a nice night with friends would do me really good. My DD is away tonight staying at her aunties house. 3 of my 'friends' commented saying that I shouldn't be going out when I'm pregnant, that I should wait until I've had my baby so i can have a 'proper night out' and the other told me I shouldn't be going out anyway when I have a DD at home. Thus resulted in the three of them laughing to each other about my situation and arranging a night out between themselves which is obviously not going to include me. These 3 women only started drinking a few months ago. They used to go out to the pub and just drink juice, now they are telling me that I can't go out because I can't just drink juice all night and there is no way I can enjoy myself when I can't have a drink.

I'm so angry. I cried after reading the comments they really hurt. I've removed it from Facebook now incase anyone else joined in.

Am I being unreasonable? Do they have a valid point? Should I not be going out when I'm pregnant? Should mums not be allowed a night off? I work full time so it's not as If I'm using tax payers money to pay for my cans of coca cola in the pub so i dont understand why I should stay in every night by myself.

I'm so angry

Goodadvice1980 Sun 07-Apr-13 17:40:45

I'd be deleting their bitchy arses off facebook and going out!!

ihearsounds Sun 07-Apr-13 17:41:04

Delete them. Not worth it.

fluckered Sun 07-Apr-13 17:41:13

these are "friends" of yours??? they sound horrible! sorry you have to witness that but tbh that would be it for me.

Gruffalump Sun 07-Apr-13 17:42:24

These women are not your friends.

Very bizarre and upsetting behaviour. Rise above it and find someone else to enjoy yourself with.

Good luck!!

Gigondas Sun 07-Apr-13 17:44:28

Delete them- I missed the rule about not going our when pregnant or have kids or that you have to drink.

Bless your heart, of course you should be going out ffs. Agree with everyone that says these are not friends of yours, is there anyone else you can ask?

dandelionmoon Sun 07-Apr-13 17:45:32

How WEIRD (them, not you!) Not surprised you're upset. Poor you. Where are you? I'll go with you and I'll buy you a Coke grin

roofio87 Sun 07-Apr-13 17:46:00

definitely not real friends. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and enjoyed a great night out last night. totally sober but enjoyed the company of my friends and being out. going to the pub while pregnant is nothing and they had no idea your if your dd was home or not. ignore them,you need some better friends!!

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 07-Apr-13 17:46:07

They're not very friendly for friends are they?! Arrange a night out with more notice with nicer people!

PenelopePortrait Sun 07-Apr-13 17:46:52

I think you may be being a bit sensitive OP. How you've read it and how they meant the comments are probably far apart in meaning. IYSWIM?

The written word doesn't translate feelings very well and we generally interpret things based on how we are feeling. On another day, if you we're feeling happier, you may have taken the comments totally differently.

They probably have no idea they have upset you. Try not to take fb comments to heart

LadyVoldemort Sun 07-Apr-13 17:47:59

Of course you can go out and have fun without alcohol! Plenty of soft drinks to choose from these days.

Your 'friends' sound very unsupportive sad

parisfernandez Sun 07-Apr-13 17:48:18

They have no kids at all so they don't understand. It's been months since I was out and to be honest I'm not even going to bother tonight because I'm not in the mood now.

I feel alone and everything I do I get criticised for. If I stay in all the time they say I have a shit life and go on about how amazing their life is without children because they can do whatever they want. If I want to go out they say no no you shouldn't be going out anywhere. What is the point I can't win. I've been friends with them since childhood and i just don't understand why they are like this.

StuntGirl Sun 07-Apr-13 17:49:26

goodadvice gives very good advice!

They arnt friends, delete off fb and go and enjoy yourself.

LadyVoldemort Sun 07-Apr-13 17:53:49

Have you spoken to any of them separately about how you feel? PenelopePortrait makes a good point.

caramelwaffle Sun 07-Apr-13 17:57:14

They are not real friends.

parisfernandez Sun 07-Apr-13 17:59:38

Ladyvoldemort I have sent them all individual texts explaining that their comments upset me and also explaining my reasons in full about why I wanted to go out tonight and how it's possible to go out and just drink juice. I also pointed out that for several years they slagged people off who went out and had a drink whilst they sat with a juice and went home by 9pm.

BegoniaBampot Sun 07-Apr-13 18:04:28

You have some very strange 'friends'. Are these the kind of people you want in your life?

DoJo Sun 07-Apr-13 18:05:01

Either a) they aren't actually your friends and genuinely hold these asinine beliefs or b) they were trying to make a poorly judged joke which has come across badly in print and hasn't been helped by their subsequent posts. I would probably be tempted to ask them whether they were joking as then you aren't flying off the handle but still demonstrating that it hasn't gone down well that they are commenting in this manner.

They are not worth it. I know it's bloody difficult to do it, but ditch them. More interesting and friendlier people will come along!

Greydog Sun 07-Apr-13 18:06:07

What a miserable bunch they are. Can't you go by yourself to see the band? If it's a local pub there will probably be someone you know there

nkf Sun 07-Apr-13 18:07:42

Friends? In what universe are such people friends? Dump and enjoy your night out.

foolserrand Sun 07-Apr-13 18:08:14

I'm also pregnant and fancy a night out. Love music too. Op, fuck em and take me! grin

Euphemia Sun 07-Apr-13 18:09:50

These people don't sound like friends. If they are, they'll be on the phone begging forgiveness and arranging to go out as you suggested. sad

Otherwise, have a shower, put on something nice and go anyway. You'll be glad you did, whereas at home you'll just sit and rage. smile

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