To wonder what the hell I am supposed to do all day now I am a stay at home mum?

(128 Posts)
gettingolderandoutofstyle Sun 07-Apr-13 13:51:39

I have been a stay at home Mum since DS was born (now age 2). For the first year I just met up with other mums each day who were also on maternity leave (but this actually cost me a lot of money going to cafes, soft play etc.) Now they are all back at work I have decided I would like to stay at home until DS (and I am 12 weeks pregnant with DC2) start school. But I am at a loss of what to do each day? At the moment DS wakes me up at 6am, we have breakfast, get dressed, then watch cbeebies for about an hour and a half before driving DH to work. We are back home by 9.30, I then put a wash load on, do the ironing and clean one room (I have allocated a room in our apartment to clean each day). DS just potters and plays with his toys and 'helps' me do bits of the cleaning. Then it is 11am we have a snack and I try and bake cakes or do colouring or playdoh or something until lunchtime but find it hard to stretch the activity out to last until lunch. We eat lunch, quick clean up and then I start thinking it is only 1pm, what the hell am I going to do until I pick my DH up at 5.30pm? If we go to the park I am usually bored after an hour and by the time we are home there are still at least another 2 hours to kill. What do other stay at home mums do? My own mum said I used to go to nursery every morning but she still struggled to fill the afternoons with me so she has no suggestions.

CaptainSweatPants Sun 07-Apr-13 13:54:08

You need to go out or you'll go mad
Library
Free museums that have something to catch the interest of your child
Make a network of mum grieves to go round to theirs for coffee

hwjm1945 Sun 07-Apr-13 13:55:34

Playgroup s

TunipTheVegedude Sun 07-Apr-13 13:56:12

You could waste time pissing about on the internet.

Does your ds have a nap ? Do you have a hobby or interest ? That's kept me going in the endless cycle of housework and entertain kids

MsAkimbo Sun 07-Apr-13 13:57:34

Agree, outings. My DD is much younger and I try to go out everyday.

Also, does your DS nap? If so, nap. Nap. NAP.

No no if your not tired hobby while they nap, keeps you sane

gettingolderandoutofstyle Sun 07-Apr-13 13:59:18

TunipTheVegedude haha that is what I seem to do for about 2 hours each afternoon after we have been to the park although DS is not very impressed, he keeps saying 'come off mummy'. So far today I have been up since 6am which seems wrong on a Sunday, already been to the shops and the park, DS has been watching tv for about 2 hours, DH is at work and I just think what on earth can we do??

Viviennemary Sun 07-Apr-13 13:59:21

I think it is possibly more difficult to be a SAHM if you need to be always on the go and only have one child. I had a neighbour like this once. Whole house cleaned from top to bottom by 9.30 and then she was bored. You could try a routine. Mondays we go to this, Tuesdays we do that and so on. I agree with network of Mums to meet up for lunch or coffee. And check out libraries for story times and activity hours and so on.

Sorry forgot you are pregnant, lie down ! please conserve your energy And get love film

Do you like arts and crafts? Maybe you could start making things and selling them online on places like Etsy?

This kept me occupied during sick leave and unemployment and with a toddler (who could do his own crafts) you could really fill your time.

Trying activity classes to; play group, swimming, library - do some local research and find an activity for every other day

Moomoomie Sun 07-Apr-13 14:00:23

Park.
Library.
Mother and toddler groups.
Swimming.
Museums.
Long slow walks, looking at ants etc.
Seaside.
Walk in the woods.
You will soon meet new friends with similar aged children.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 07-Apr-13 14:02:20

Hello OP.

I have been a sahm for 20+ years and have done many things.
Its a good time to take up a hobby or pursue your interests, distance learning, volunteering in the community.
With your dc there are parks, libraries, the beach, forests, indoor soft play. Swimming, play groups, mother and toddler, etc.
I just did everything and anything I wanted to, personally I found it empowering and liberating. I think you need to embrace the change though or else agree with the above, you'd go mad. Look at what you can achieve personally and that should keep you on the right track.
Good luck, hope you enjoy.

gettingolderandoutofstyle Sun 07-Apr-13 14:02:46

MsAkimbo He doesn't do naps anymore sad He sleeps 7.30pm until 6am, the days I have tried to get him to nap he will not go to bed until midnight and still wake up at 6am sad

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 07-Apr-13 14:02:59

Go to library, museums, soft play ( aaaargh), parent and toddler groups, swimming, toy shop

But make friends with someone and have a cuppa together while the children bite each other

I am very glad i had not come across MN when mine were this age because i would have been seriously addcited and possibly neglectful

noblegiraffe Sun 07-Apr-13 14:03:22

Supermarket, library, various different parks, city farm, soft play, play date, toddler group, lunch in asda cafe (cheap!). In the summer sandpit in the back garden, or paddling pool filled with toys can keep him occupied for hours. Baking, painting, craft kits, dens. CBeebies

ohforfoxsake Sun 07-Apr-13 14:04:08

Get out and about, make friends, playgroups in the morning, lunch, make dinner whilst LO naps (if still does). Picnics in the park, day trips out. Do a course, look into professional qualifications for when you do go back to work, if you do.

I did most of my socialising during the day, having friends round for lunch, going for coffee. It's the best way to preserve your sanity IMO.

Being PG again, this is the calm before the storm - enjoy it, read books, clear out the kitchen drawer.

It can be mindnumbingly dull, force yourself to enjoy it.

Backtobedlam Sun 07-Apr-13 14:04:37

I used to make sure we got out every day or we'd all go stir crazy! Walks in the woods, park, playgroup, library, scoot/bike around where we live, swimming, other toddler groups (gymnastics, baby signing, tumble tots etc), walk to shops instead of drive.

As we're then only at home for a few hours its easiee to keep them entertained without me getting bored! We do lots out in the garden, cooking, painting, simple games, build large train tracks, den building, duplo models. Once you get into it you'll be amazed where the day goes!

gettingolderandoutofstyle Sun 07-Apr-13 14:06:49

They are good ideas thank you, I will have a look at what activities we have nearby, maybe I could make some kind of planner each month of what we are going to do each day! I feel like we should just be content at home, my MIL said she just used to stay in every day, she said there is always housework to do, tv to catch up on etc. but I seem to have run out of things to do at home by 11am each day, and I cant spend until 5pm watching tv every day, I will go insane!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 07-Apr-13 14:08:19

Make stuff! Craft...sew....go for walks....

ParmaViolette Sun 07-Apr-13 14:08:25

I do apologise if I sound out of line, but you don't really seem terribly fulfilled being one. Which is not a bad thing at all- just most of the SAHMs I know will defend to their death their busy schedule and abundance of things to do!

I'm certainly not insinuating you to go out and find one of those gold dust school hour jobs- but maybe 2-3 days evening or daytime shift work would be good? Or maybe a college course? Start a new hobby or join a gym just for a bit of me time or something to do?

Raising your child is an amazing thing, but if park and soft play bores you (don't blame you!) then don't be a martyr to it. Use your free hours to be you not just mummy!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 07-Apr-13 14:10:08

Also, when both mine were just over 2 they started at a community playgroup 2 or 3 mornings a week). Very necessary for sanitym eespecially when i had a baby and toddler. Look out for one of these. They are ususally parent managed but you leave the child there.

gettingolderandoutofstyle Sun 07-Apr-13 14:11:21

ParmaViolette I am doing a OU distance learning course which I do in the evenings after DS goes to bed, although I do find I am exhausted by the time he is in bed from being up at 6am and like to just crash some nights. I do want to be a stay at home mum, I just feel like I have no idea what I should be doing to fill these long endless days?

OldBagWantsNewBag Sun 07-Apr-13 14:11:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gettingolderandoutofstyle Sun 07-Apr-13 14:12:04

Also we do not have a garden which I think makes it harder, if we did I would just stick DS out there for a couple of hours each day while I did some reading, or maybe started gardening or something.

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