To ask 9yr old DS to put 2yr old DD to bed so often?

(64 Posts)
NickNacks Sat 06-Apr-13 19:54:37

He's the only one she doesn't scream the bloody house down for.

DD is very much a mummy's girl and when I put her to bed she screams and cries for me to come back and it takes a good 45 minutes to settle her.

With DH she is much the same, still cries for me and DH feels rejected when all she calls for is me when he's being so lovely to her.

DS1 takes her to bed and she's a completely different child. I do her teeth give her a kiss in the hall and he tucks her in, reads her story and leaves! I hear her cheerfully say 'Bye, DS!'

WIBU to ask him to do it a lot for the next few weeks? DH and I will still do it every few nights but if everyone is happy with this? I really don't know!

ChristmasJubilee Sun 07-Apr-13 12:59:18

My ds2 (15) sometimes (about once a week) puts his little brother (6) to bed. He does his shower, pyjamas, teeth and story. He has been doing it for about 3 years. He also, occasionally, picks him up from after school club, takes him to the park or watches him whilst I pop out. He has babysat but was paid for that.

Ds2 gets £10 a week as opposed to ds1's £5 as ds1 (mild s/n's) does not help around the house. He also adds little extras to my shopping list which the others don't. Given the choice ds2 would choose to spend all his time on his computer not to do it but would prefer to look after his brother to doing house work or walking the dog.

I don't think it is unreasonably to expect children, if able, to help around the house.

AcrylicPlexiglass Sun 07-Apr-13 12:42:19

Fully agree with those who have said that as long it is perceived by him as a pleasure rather than an obligation it is a win-win situation. As a mum to teens and a toddler, I do think that such things can easily turn sour, sadly, but unless and until it does go for it! I find my teens are rather fair weather friends to their much littler sister- they find her adorable and hilarious some of the time but run a mile when toddler bossiness and tantrums appear. I think that's as it should be really.

LittleEdie Sun 07-Apr-13 12:41:18

Aaah, that's nice smile.

mrsjay Sun 07-Apr-13 12:40:21

what a lovely son you have nicknacks his sister is lucky to have him smile

NickNacks Sun 07-Apr-13 12:37:45

Thank you for all the responses.

I had a chat with DS last night (as I was seeing him to bed!) about his thoughts on the situation. Did he mind and was he happy doing it etc. he said he loves doing it, it makes him happy that she likes him taking her to bed and best of all, he likes reading the books in her room as otherwise he wouldn't get a chance to. I reiterated to him (as I do almost every night!) that if every he didn't want to he only had to say and dad or I would do it, no problem.

I won't be paying him. We don't pay our children to do any chores, they get treats and spending money where necessary but it isn't directly linked to chores. I believe helping out with chores such as laying table, emptying dishwasher, tidying up should be done by everyone age appropriately, not because they get paid.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Apr-13 12:36:56

DS loves doing it

2yr old is happy

You're happy

Your DH is happy

How can you be unreasonable? confused

McNewPants2013 Sun 07-Apr-13 12:34:52

Bedtime in this house feels a chore. I have gave up reading stories ect when both my little darlings are jumping about.

mrsjay Sun 07-Apr-13 12:34:28

*It's good bonding too.

As well as educational benefits with the reading out loud*.

^ ^ that I do think children can be quite self centered sometimes and think the world revolves around them

LittleEdie Sun 07-Apr-13 12:34:04

Childcare if they were on their own in the house with the child - no. Childcare with the parents in another room - why not?

shellbu the way you say that makes you sound a bit nasty.

mrsjay Sun 07-Apr-13 12:32:34

they are not sitting on their arses he wants to do it it i s a nice thing for him to do no different from a child helping a younger sibling on with their coat or shoes or whatever, or is that lazy parenting too

MordecaiAndRigby Sun 07-Apr-13 12:32:28

It's good bonding too.

As well as educational benefits with the reading out loud.

MordecaiAndRigby Sun 07-Apr-13 12:31:23

I'm sure the 9yr old much prefers this arrangement compared to listening to his sister bawling and having stressed out parents.

KobayashiMaru Sun 07-Apr-13 12:30:16

she didn't say it was a chore. hmm

shellbu Sun 07-Apr-13 12:30:01

thats what mothers or fathers do , put children to bed , i didnt feel like a slave putting mine to bed , it is laziness when there are 2 parents sat on their arse and let a 9 yr old do it cos they cant be bothered with her crying ,jobs are fine for a 9 yr old but child care , i dont think so .

stressyBessy22 Sun 07-Apr-13 12:26:50

littleedie Reading your child a bedtime story and tucking them in should not be regarded as a chore

LittleEdie Sun 07-Apr-13 12:21:06

I'm really shock that anyone would have an objection to this. There's nothing wrong with children having 'jobs' around the house, and this sounds like a nice one. Everyone wins. If it were a DD doing it I wonder if people's perceptions would be different?

mrsjay Sun 07-Apr-13 12:15:22

and the novelty will wear off with either brother or the little evil genuis that is the 2 year old wink she will get bored and start wailing for mum again soon

mrsjay Sun 07-Apr-13 12:13:59

It is HARDLY palming off the poor boy is putting his sister to bed not sending him up a chimney to sweep seriously palming off and laziness is are very strong words to use imo, I do think children like to be involved in family life and this is no different they are a family he is helping out no biggie he isn't being forced

KobayashiMaru Sun 07-Apr-13 12:13:40

He likes it, she likes it and it works for you. Ignore the whingers. It's called being a family, you're the mother, not the slave who must do absolutely everything. Families share the load around, thats the point of them.

shellbu Sun 07-Apr-13 11:57:31

i think its wrong ,you had her dont palm her off to your son ,you put YOUR child to bed ,it shouts laziness to me .

stressyBessy22 Sun 07-Apr-13 11:49:12

I think he should do it occasionally not every night.that way it stays special and can be very useful to you when you really need it.If he does it every time it won't be long before she starts kicking off for him too....

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 07-Apr-13 09:40:28

Aaaw. How blinking sweet is that? I think it's fine. I was one of 4...well still am! My siblings looked after me all the time! It's fine.

yousankmybattleship Sun 07-Apr-13 09:38:06

As long as he's happy about it then it seems like the perfect arrangement. What a lovely boy you have!

BrawToken Sun 07-Apr-13 09:37:19

Aw, I think that is lovely as long as he doesn't mind smile

mrsjay Sun 07-Apr-13 09:33:46

Don't pay him it would spoil it why would you pay him it is his sister he is reading his sister a story and saying night night

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