To think it was insensitive to have said this about my post baby body and be a bit upset??

(97 Posts)
emeraldgirl1 Sat 06-Apr-13 19:25:19

I had a c section 3.5 weeks ago.
My SIL has just come round and gone on and on about ow I 'still look five months pregnant' and how this 'didn't happen' with her after her c section.

sad

She kept looking at me from different angles and saying, 'it's just really weird, your tummy still looks pregnant!'

I would have told her (politely) to bugger off but I was too upset to get into it so just left the room.

.i am sleep deprived and have struggled with eating disorders and body image issues previously (SIL knows this) and feel very sensitive on this matter.

I am now worried that I have got totally wrecked stomach muscles from the c section and that they will never be normal ever again sad

Could it be my uterus not contracting down yet?? I haven't been able to breast feed (Been feeling rubbish about this too... SIL also knows this...) and so wonder if my tummy is still protruding from sticking out uterus. Possible??

I probably do look v pregnant still, I am overall quite skinny but do still have a big bulging tummy. I had been feeling better about it these last few days as I thought it was improving and now I feel really really shit.

sIL not known for her sensitivity but this is a bit much. I may just be hormonal and tired but I feel rubbish now and just want to hide away because I feel like a freak.

pollyblue Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:25

four days after i had my twins by section my mum said 'you look like there's another one still in there'. Gee, thanks for that....
I was still very pregnant looking a good month later and heading back to my old size about 4 months later.
So tell your SIL to (politely) piss 'orf grin

What did your DH say?

Feel free to challenge her - say something like 'I feel hurt and offended when you make personal remarks about my appearance, please stop it' . Repeat once or twice if she keeps on. The third time do shout 'stop being so rude, please leave now' and show her the door.

You don't have to put up with rudeness from anyone.

TheBigJessie Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:44

Well, this kind of stupidity is why a glittering career is obstetric surgery does not await your SIL. I don't think I've ever said this before on MN, but your SIL is a bitch!

Ask your midwife or GP about the uterus; Dr Google never makes yus feel better and never properly identifies real issues, either. Lose/lose situation!

You poor, poor thing. Your sil is an evil, jealous cunt.

Op, you'll be fine - it's been THREE weeks - all sounds perfectly normal to me.

Fwiw, I've had 3 babies, I've also been very big - at my largest 18 stone. I had a small (16 month) gap between my last 2 and was very greedy - gained huge weight. I was very pregnant looking 2 months after giving birth (I was asked when was I due etc)

Youngest is now 22 months and I'm a size 10 with, to be honest, very little effort. I probably have the best figure I personally have ever had.

You'll be fine

Lovelygoldboots Sat 06-Apr-13 19:39:42

You need time to heal. Talk to your doc at six week check. Three weeks is no time to recover from a c section. She really is being a bitch. Congratulations on your new baby. You really don't need this shit.

PurpleStorm Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:15

SIL was being very very rude and insensitive.

AFAIK, it's perfectly normal to still have a bigger tummy 3.5 weeks after the baby's born.

But ask your midwife / GP if you really are worried that your uterus hasn't contracted as it should. Not google.

Viviennemary Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:30

What an idiot she sounds. Keep her away for a while. Who wants to listen to this kind of nonsense. I got back to being slim fairly reasonably quickly after being pregnant. I'm not slim now though. grin

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 06-Apr-13 19:41:51

She's sounds like a total twat. Ignore her spiteful cruel comments- she enjoy the fact she must be a very sad and bitter person to have to put others down to make herself feel better
And congratulations

Booyhoo Sat 06-Apr-13 19:42:11

please please please do not listen to her.

what horrible person she is. quite honsetly i'd tell her to leave. how dare she come to your home and treat you like that. and there is no way she is that thick that she wont know how hurtful that will have been.

angry for you.

Lambethmum Sat 06-Apr-13 19:45:39

3 weeks is nothing! I was asked by a stranger if I was pregnant again at 7 months after my second - I am slim elsewhere but it's taken 14 months for my stomach to look almost normal again

whirligiggle Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:10

Ignore her, she is either being deliberately hurtful, in which case she's a poisonous cow & doesn't deserve to be listened to; or it was a thoughtless comment & she just doesn't realise how hurtful she has been. I totally sympathise re the ED, body image etc. Probably she just felt randomly vindictive & you were an easy target.

babyradio Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:23

What a horrible thing to say.

Enjoy your wine and if she says anything else about your body just tell her to bugger off!

PenelopeChipShop Sat 06-Apr-13 19:47:47

What an utter bitch!
Please ignore her. I know it is so hard when you're do so hormonal but this isn't worth paying attention to. I am quite sure I still looked 5 months pg 3 weeks post CS!! It does take a while to go down, this is very normal. CS mums can't be mobile so quickly, plus there is swelling from the op and as you say your uterus is still contracting. Only a month ago it was your baby's home. It isn't going to snap back in that quickly!

Congratulations in your lovely baby, ignore your idiot SiL!!

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 06-Apr-13 19:50:17

I'd just send her out of the house. Excessively mean. She presumably has some deep-rooted issue making her say it but thisis not your problem.

CSIJanner Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:24

You're not being overly sentive at all! She's being a bitch.

Is anyone else going to place money on the fact that SIL is actually jealous of how good Emerald looks 3.5 weeks after a c-section and really, inside, is gnawing at her own liver with jealousy?

Gigondas Sat 06-Apr-13 19:52:30

What a cow- why is your dh giving her house room and not saying something?

It took me months to get tummy back and I am slim everywhere else. It isn't like normal pregnancy cos of surgery effect. Looking about 6 months gone for months after is normal.

Enjoy the wine and a lovely baby snuggle .

I am also slimmer than ever post 2 kids so it is not permanent.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:55

You prob have some swelling, just ignore her smile

MyNameIsAnAnagram Sat 06-Apr-13 19:53:58

3.5 weeks after giving birth (whatever type of birth) it is completely normal to still look 5 months pregnant. Your sil is clearly a bitch.

woopsidaisy Sat 06-Apr-13 19:58:02

She is a complete cow, OP. and IMO people who do this are doing it to make themselves feel better, as she is jealous. You look fab and she wishes she had looked so good!

My mum told sniggered and said you don't look as though you have had the baby yet....3 days after DS3!!!
I used the old mumsnet favourite "Did you mean that to sound so rude?" She was absolutely shocked that I had said that, and said "That wasn't very nice!" to me!!!!!

You have a gorgeous snugly little bub that you are perfect for. Forget those losers.

xigris Sat 06-Apr-13 19:59:11

Oh my goodness! What a Category A bitchtwat! Ignore, ignore, ignore. My eldest is 6 and my youngest is 3.5 months. I still get regularly asked when I'm due. Why the hell do people do this to new mums (whether it's their first or 14th?) it's just unbelievable. This is her problem and not yours! At 3.5 weeks post section you're still well in the post natal period plus you've had major surgery. Not that many years ago you'd still be in hospital. Next time ( if you ever deign to see the hag again) just sweetly reply, 'yes, but I'm young, I'll get back to my pre baby figure if and when I decide. Shame it's too late for you' Harsh maybe but she's hardly Miss Congeniality! Congratulations on your baby! And please don't stress flowersbrew

emeraldgirl1 Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:09

Thanks so so much for nice words everyone. Really really has helped.
DH isn't here, he is off getting takeaway...
It's my brothers wife not my DH's sister...

MrsLion Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:18

She is a spiteful bitch. Do not take any of these comments to heart. 3 wks pp after dd1 a friend took me down the road for a quick coffee and we bumped into someone she knew- even though I had tiny DD next to me she said whilst staring open-mouthed at my tummy "how come you've got such a huge stomach?"

It is so unnecessary and very hurtful.

I had 3 CS, my body reacted slightly differently each time, but I had a huge stomach in the very early days too. Its normal- do not let this dreadful woman near you for a while.

MummytoKatie Sat 06-Apr-13 20:02:31

I read somewhere that it takes 9 mo ths for your body to grow the baby so you should expect it to take 9 months for it to get back to its previous shape afterwards.

SybilRamkin Sat 06-Apr-13 20:03:21

Please don't worry, you're completely normal. Swelling takes time to go down, and your uterus needs more time to contract than for a vaginal birth (although to be honest, it would still be normal for you to have a protruding abdomen after a vaginal birth after 3.5 weeks!). Your SIL is either totally lacking in empathy or a complete b**ch!

SatsukiKusukabe Sat 06-Apr-13 20:05:41

she sounds awful. ask your dh to tell her to fuck if you're not up to it

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