I had a fairly tense relationship with MIL when my kids were little as she was very controlling. DH is an only child but even when I produced my third she was still dishing out the advice and has never liked to be challenged on any of her - often quite bizarre - views. She always treated my kids as HER grandchildren rather than my children (if you see what I mean). She would come to visit and tell me she was taking them out without asking if that was OK and would be vague about where they were going and for how long (and I'm talking breast fed babies here), give them chocolate immediately before meals despite me asking her not to and just generally ignore mine and DH's views etc etc.
She and FIL live a couple of hundred miles away so as the kids got older it became less of an issue, but she still tries. She recently gave DS1 a couple of grand on his 18th birthday. She told us she was going to do this and we asked her not to or perhaps tell him it was there when he wanted it for something important as he's drifting at the moment, not achieving at school, not making any effort to line up something to do when he leaves this year. I know the money won't last for ever but at the moment he's got no incentive to start looking for a job or anything. But she knows best.
Anyway, MIL recently told DH that they've decided to redo their will so that instead of him inheriting everything he and our 3 kids will inherit one quarter of their estate each. They're quite comfortably off and both well into their 80s and neither is in good health. I don't want DS1 to inherit a large sum of money in what would probably be his 20s. He needs to sort his life out and develop some motivation about work/careers etc. Money wouldn't help him do that. And the other 2 kids are 14 and 16 so they too could inherit at too early an age.
It's difficult to broach the subject with MIL and FIL (if not impossible) as we would just sound grasping or as if we were suggesting they were about to pop their clogs. But even if we did, I know MIL would not concede that we knew what was better for our kids than her. I feel likes it's just another example of her controlling behaviour.
And, before anyone says it, I know it's theirs to do what they want with! It has just reopened a lot of old feelings.
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AIBU?
I know I am but can't help it (will related)
37 replies
catwalker · 06/04/2013 00:05
OP posts:
babybarrister ·
06/04/2013 00:20
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fuckwittery ·
06/04/2013 10:07
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