Online dating - 'No brats in tow please' from a mid-40s male. Seriously??

(179 Posts)
Mendi Thu 04-Apr-13 20:02:53

The following from the Match.com page of a slightly pudgy, looks 45-years old plus loser '42 year old' 'commodities trader':

'I'm looking for fun/ friendship/relationship, but am looking for an independent woman who can do 50:50, especially financially. No freeloaders please. No 'worn the t-shirt' types (but who've still failed to learn from mistakes & blame everyone else, but themselves). No 'free dinner/drink ticket' types. No 'baggage/brats in tow' types (do you really think a man wants someone else's mistakes or left overs to bother with? Get a reality check, pleaze). And no 'cheap easy trashy commodity' types. I could go on, and lament sometimes. Just someone who is honest and down to earth, but has moderate style, finesse and poise (plus can pay her own way in life, or did I already say that. Lol). Simple basics can go a long way. '

I have only dipped my toe in the water of OD and already realised it;s not for me. All blokes who expect your knickers to drop off at the mere prospect of hooking up with him, or like this guy, sort of 'don't bother me if you have ANY baggage at all' even though at my age I must surely reasonably expect that any woman of appropriate age will have at least a failed relationship or a kid or two.

'No baggage/brats in tow types (do you really think a man wants someone else's mistakes or left overs to bother with?...'

What a charmer.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 04-Apr-13 20:17:01

HOW is he still single. Wow. What a catch.

'I'm looking for sex, but am looking for someone who won't actually want a relationship as such. You must have money because I won't so much as treat you to a coffee, no, I will take out a calculator in the restaurant and work it out down to the last breadstick. I don't want to hear anything about your life or your history cos I'm not interested. I want you smiley and peppy at all times and willing to take responsibility for any shitty way a man has treated you, cos, well, I will too and you'd better never think it was my fault. Did I mention that you'll be paying for dinner? I want you to have lived in a box until I came along and have nothing about you that makes you a well rounded human being. Nobody in your life so that it is totally empty without me. And no children (do you really think I want to have your attention off me for a moment? Get a reality check, pleaze). And dress like a nun, so no other man will look your way, but make no mistake, I will expect instant sex from you. I could go on, but you have already gathered that I am a gigantic tool. Just someone who is a mug, but has a good body (plus can pay her own way in life and mine, or did I already say that. Lol). Your cash can go a long way. '

WildlingPrincess Thu 04-Apr-13 20:17:06

He'll soon get snapped up grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 04-Apr-13 20:18:19

He sounds like a cock.

Sadly I would bet he will get quite a few replies.

CheCazzo Thu 04-Apr-13 20:18:45

Commodities trader? grin

Orange juice is a commodity. Bacon is a commodity. He's a shopkeeper and can't afford to buy you a drink!

MadameOvary Thu 04-Apr-13 20:19:02

Translation: I am a selfish manchild who doesn't want to spend my money on anyone except myself and possibly some sexy underwear for my burd.
Wot a catch!

catsmother Thu 04-Apr-13 20:19:24

That comes across as horribly arrogant, very rude and crass but at least it saves women from wasting their time with him.

However, I'm not sure it isn't worse to start dating someone who seems nice and normal, who claimed to be open minded to the idea of a woman with children, who draws you in emotionally - and into bed - and who then, a few weeks/months later drops you like a hot potato "because" he "can't cope" with the notion of you having had "another man's kids" - as if it was something I revealed as a surprise down the line. Which happened to me in the past - more than once.

Pigsmummy Thu 04-Apr-13 20:19:26

Keep looking, there are some nice ones, I have a friend who met her husband and had a baby with an online date, she was 42 when they met. Eharmony is meant to be ok. This guy will be single for a long time or changing his profile soon. Get a close friend to check out your profile for you to make sure that you are attracting the right sorts and stay safe when meeting up in RL.

MadameOvary Thu 04-Apr-13 20:20:51

Hecsy that's genius - OP please respond in kind using this post!

What age range is he seeking?

MadameOvary Thu 04-Apr-13 20:24:45

I met my DP on MatchAffinity btw - am constantly amazed that I met such a normal bloke online. Six months on and his murky past/weirdness/unappealing kinks have yet to materialise unlike all the other nutjobs I have had the misfortune to be in a relationship with grin

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 20:28:02

I met my OH online 3 1/2 yrs ago.

Really though is it fair to try to publicly humiliate this guy?

He may not be your cup of tea but he's not hurting anyone - he's just trying to go on a date.

How would any of us feel if our profile was posted on a chat forum and ridiculed?

LemonPeculiarJones Thu 04-Apr-13 20:29:14

Words fail me. What a repellant little tick of a man.

manicinsomniac Thu 04-Apr-13 20:35:09

I think his profile is absolutely fine and it's very unfair to ridicule him for it.

He wants to attract a certain type of person, what would be the point in writing things to attract someone he isn't interested in. he's being honest, upfront and direct - probably the best way to get a desirable response.

Obviously he wouldn't be for any of us because we have kids but there are lots of people who haven't and don't want any.

VelvetSpoon Thu 04-Apr-13 20:36:36

Catsmother I completely agree!

The majority of men who do OD are bullshitters, fantasists, narcissists, commitment-phobes, or a combination of all of the above with massive chips on their shoulders. I say this as a veteran of many years of online dating, during which I have met precisely 2 normal, well adjusted men. I'd far rather the knobbers say stuff like this in their profiles...saves us wasting any time on them!

MintyyAeroEgg Thu 04-Apr-13 20:40:41

Gossipmonster - he is a misogynistic twat who completely deserves to be ridiculed and ripped to shreds!

Ridersofthestorm Thu 04-Apr-13 20:40:49

Hmmm something tells me this little charmer is going to be single for some time. He sounds a treat, sorry I mean DICKHEAD!

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 20:43:38

You've met him have you MintyAeroEgg?

You know his history?

What led him to post?

SamuelWestsMistress Thu 04-Apr-13 20:44:35

Well it's obvious why he's remained single into his 40s! Gads. What a toad.

Nah manic - it's not the upfront, don't want kids nature that makes him unsuitable

It's the fact he's a charmless, miserly, mean spirited, superficial cunt that's the problem wink

nokidshere Thu 04-Apr-13 20:45:57

I can't see what the problem is myself. He obviously will only attract like minded people and presumably that's his aim.

If someone wants to,date him then she probably deserves him!

MintyyAeroEgg Thu 04-Apr-13 20:46:25

This is surreal Gossipmonster - no of course I haven't met him.

I think what's really notable about him is that instead of listing his positive qualities that would make him desirable as a mate he instead lists all the qualities he doesn't want women to have.

Über-cuntishness personified.

BinksToEnlightenment Thu 04-Apr-13 20:46:41

Well at least he is honest. Shame he's only got being a spaff stain to be honest about.

Sailormercury Thu 04-Apr-13 20:47:44

He is truly a prince among men grin

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 20:50:38

Well how can you possibly judge him then? On a paragraph (I am guessing I haven't looked) on a dating site and think he deserved to be "ripped to shreds" hmm.

He can't defend himself can he? Because he doesn't know what ridicule he is being held up for.

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