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AIBU?

To let my 5 year old DS see me naked when coming out of the shower?

63 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 03/04/2013 19:29

My DH said today that he thinks I should no longer walk about naked in front of our children. Please note that the only time they see me naked is when I come out of the shower and when changing at the swimming pool. My sons are 5, 3 and 9 months old so I don't think there's anything wrong with them seeing me naked, in fact it should be seen as totally normal IMO!

The conversation came up when we were having an argument about them watching a 12 movie which DH thinks is fine despite lots of violence in it, so he said that if that's inappropriate then so is me letting them see me naked!!!!! Shock wtf?!

AIBU? what age do you start covering yourself up from your kids esp boys?

OP posts:
buggerama · 03/04/2013 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrscog · 03/04/2013 19:32

YANBU, surely they will let you know when they're no longer comfortable with it by running off! I would say fine until 8/9/10ish depending on the child.

SoulTrain · 03/04/2013 19:33

Children will dictate when this sort of thing needs to end. When e closes his door when he changes then its time to stop. He's 5! Your DH is being ridiculous. There's a really small time frame where families can live with this kind of openness and freedom and I think you are far from unreasonable!

WilsonFrickett · 03/04/2013 19:34

I've started to lock the bathroom door just recently (but more because DS7 still barges in to chat to me and I want a bit of peace!) and he's now cottoned on to the idea that shower time is 'private time'. And I'm encouraging him to knock on a closed bedroom door too, just because he takes longer to learn boundaries etc. (mild SN). But wouldn't 'stop' him seeing me naked either, IYSWIM. So if he knocks and I'm naked, I still say come in. I think it all has to be child-led, they'll let you know when they're uncomfortable.

OhLori · 03/04/2013 19:35

Honestly, I think you are right and your husband is wrong. Probably the easiest post I've posted today Hmm.

SauvignonBlanche · 03/04/2013 19:35

Your DH is being a dick!

Suzieismyname · 03/04/2013 19:36

yanbu
I think just carry on as you are until they start to feel uncomfortable about it. I shower with my 4 and 2 year old girls and wouldn't behave differently if they were boys.
I wouldn't let my girls watch 12 films. DH and I watched a bit if LoTR last night. No way are they suitable for little ones...

Binkyridesagain · 03/04/2013 19:36

I stopped when the DCs started running away screaming. They will let you know.

Bowlersarm · 03/04/2013 19:37

My 17 year old DS comes to talk to me when I'm in the bath! There is no right or wrong-whatever feels comfortable for you both

StealthPolarBear · 03/04/2013 19:38

Still wander round naked in front of six year old ds. Ill stop when he seems bothered

whois · 03/04/2013 19:38

And if you take them swimming, what are you meant to do? Hide under a towel? DH is being silly.

OhThisIsJustGrape · 03/04/2013 19:38

I don't deliberately flaunt my naked self but don't hide away either itms and my DCs are 17, 13, 5 and almost 3. The older two tend not to barge in the bathroom anymore but the youngest two often do and I don't bat an eyelid, it's just normal.

I grew up having never knowingly seen my parents naked, it made me very self conscious and awkward about nudity - luckily DH's parents had no such hang-ups and I've finally learnt to relax thanks to him and his attitudes.

Awizardsstaffhasaknobontheend · 03/04/2013 19:39

Oh dear... My 12 yo DD sees me in the buff all the time, and it isnt pretty! There is only the two of us - not sure if it makes any difference?

Bluelightsandsirens · 03/04/2013 19:39

Totally normal for them to see you naked and they will soon shoot off when they are old enough to start think yuck mum put some clothes on whilst rolling their eyes at you.

I'm longing for the time when my 3 are suitable not keen on following me into the bathroom, can't even have a poo in peace in this house!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 03/04/2013 19:40

When I jump in the bath I inevitably end up with my 2 and 5yo in with me and my 8 and 11yo sitting having a yap. They soon let you know when they are uncomfortable with it.

phantomnamechanger · 03/04/2013 19:42

Your DH is being daft - the problem is he looks at you and thinks "hmm, nice sexy wife" and does not realise that kids just see "mummy". It's the same as men who are "jealous of" breastfed babies or think it should not be done in public because it's sexual.

My DS is 8 and still comfy with seeing me naked - my DDs are a bit older and have started shutting the door when they shower etc, so we respect their privacy

LaQueen · 03/04/2013 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 03/04/2013 19:43

I still walk around naked, as does dp, and mine are 4,6 and 8.

My parents only stopped when I was a teen and only because they were liable to bump into my friends in the landing!

complexnumber · 03/04/2013 19:43

Ho hum,

kids see me, dp, and each other, naked all the time because we are for ever swapping between bathrooms and bedroons in the morning.

I wish someone would explain to me where the problem lies with a family seeing each other as they have done all their lives.

I really don't see a problem with nudity within the family..

2cats2many · 03/04/2013 19:44

I've been wondering lately when I'll start covering up in front of my kids. My DH never walks around naked and thinks I'm a total wierdo, but its never been an issue.

In lots of ways, I think its good for my DD to see a slightly wrinkly woman's body and know that's normal. I'm kind of an antidote to Barbie.

cupcake78 · 03/04/2013 19:44

Your dh is being ridiculous!

Hide away and all your teaching them is naked is bad and should be hidden.

Floralnomad · 03/04/2013 19:45

I think you'll find that in a lot of families the parents stop seeing the kids naked long before the kids stop seeing the parents naked .whats wrong with naked bodies anyway ?

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StuntGirl · 03/04/2013 19:45

Your husband is being a bit dense. For a start violence =/= nudity. Secondly seeing your family naked at the pool or bath/shower time is perfectly natural and normal. Your kids will let you know when they'd prefer not to see you naked.

FarBetterNow · 03/04/2013 19:46

My granddaughters barge in the bathroom when I'm having a bath or shower. They ask their Mum why there other Nan has bigger boobies than their Mum and me.
I think they are fascinated with women's bodies not all being barbie like.

Iwaswatchingthat · 03/04/2013 19:47

No problem being naked in front of my dds age 8 and 6 and it means they have an idea of what they will look like when puberty hits, so perhaps it won't be as daunting. They have never said they have any problem with it.


Funnily despite badgering me when I am on the loo they now say "don't come in" to me, dh and each other when they are on the loo.

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