To think that Facebook really exposes those people who have narcissistic tendencies?

(85 Posts)
CelticPixie Mon 01-Apr-13 19:24:18

For the record, I like Facebook. I like how it allows me to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live a long way from me. What I don't like is how certain people ( and it is always the same people) seem to use it as means of feeding their narcissism. I rarely update my status unless I have something to say, and then its usually something light hearted. I know for a fact that no one else would give a shit if I was "Pissed off" or if I'd "just had egg and chips for tea" or if I was going to have a "lovely night out with the girls". I never, ever respond to status' like this because I feel I'd just be reinforcing these people's deluded sense of how important and interesting they are when they are nothing of the sort.

Sometimes I just want to reply saying something of the lines of "who gives a shit?" And the worrying thing is its usually the people I've always liked a lot and got on with in real life saying this stuff?

AIBU to think that they are just narcs?

JenaiMorris Wed 03-Apr-13 14:34:56

I'm with you Arisbottle.

I like seeing my friends' children, cakes, knitting, fish, shoes, dogs, cars...

I enjoy hearing their and their childrne's good news, minor gripes, observations and I'm interested to see if they've tagged themselves at a restaurant/gallery/club/museum.

They're my friends - why wouldn't I? confused

I weeded out the attention seeking, crisis lovers years ago.

Maybe it's an age thing. I don't see many of my friends (mainly 30s-50s) playing FB politics. Anyone who has in the past I'd have hidden long ago.

mirry2 Wed 03-Apr-13 13:47:18

I'm fairly new to facebook and quite surprised at the way some of my friends constantly update (posed) photos of themselves. I didn't know that they were so vain.

BeebiesQueen Wed 03-Apr-13 11:39:54

I'm one of thoes annoying people that post their lives on facebook, except I go one further and link my self absorbed blog posts to facebook so people can read about my life in detail grin

nowadays my ststus are genuinly funny things my dc have said or my blog link. the vague people make me stabby, although in the past I hve been guilty of this blush not intentionally, i hasten to add. I just didnt realise!

DDDLchick Wed 03-Apr-13 00:07:37

I was going to do another thread on this but thought I could tag it onto here; the thing that annoys me about FB is people who constantly make arrangements to meet up/do things on each others' walls. In a big show of 'Look how popular/busy I am'

I have two FB friends that are good friends with each other and all they do is write on each others' walls, even though they live near each other, see each other most days, and both have phones and could text each other. And it's random things such as 'Seen that dress you like in Fat Face and it's on sale now, we could go there tomorrow once we've dropped the kids at school' or 'How did you get on food shopping today? Was the celery on special offer like we thought?'

I probably appear very boring on FB as I rarely post statuses, I rarely comment on anything of anyone else's, in fact I rarely go on there; maybe three times a week at the most plus the occasional look on my phone if I'm bored. I'd say I use the PM/chat facility more than anything else on there, as I don't feel the need to have my day to day business available for all and sundry to read.

MDA Tue 02-Apr-13 23:25:18

Ah yeah. Look I love Facebook, I do. I know Mumsnet hate it but I love it more than I love Mumsnet, (though I love Mumsnet) so I don't care wink

But all of these ring true. Vaguebookers annoy me the most (that thing where someone goes sad then everyone else goes wots up hunz and they do the will message u x and they are like ok hugz hunz etc )

And the instagrammed cheese sandwhich and all that, but my brother quit because people kept "boasting about gigs" and posting athiest stuff, but he has one of the best jobs in music in his field and his country, and is also an athiest, so I can't quite get why he had to quit, but its his own individual personality.

I love it, not constantly, and honestly don't think I'm guilty of any of the things the OP mentioned apart from self portrait profile pic, but its not pouty or duck faced, or photoshopped, just a sort of yep, whatever pic really

Ah its all good fun

ballstoit Tue 02-Apr-13 22:44:49

Dummad, I totally agree with you...worst offender was a (now deleted) friend, who put photos of her naked 3 year old's body covered in chicken pox. Why?

dummad Tue 02-Apr-13 22:25:59

Great a FB thread - and i have a topic related question. Do you guys think posting a picture of your poorly child while they sleep, in a 'ah, poorly girl' type way, is a complete infringement of their privacy? One or two mums i have as friends on FB have done this and i find it upsetting. I mean is NOTHING sacred FGS?

Mother2many Tue 02-Apr-13 22:08:04

Oh, Yes, I post about my children, and family... great report card, sad day for DS, or whatever.. I do post pictures about my kids crafts, comments, funny jokes...

I don't however, post daily on different status updates on what I am doing, "doing dishes, going shopping, bathroom, whatever"...and I don't post different pictures of myself, with duck faces, different poses, constantly either... (ROLLS EYES) I also don't post, how much I hate my old man, or what he's done to piss me off, or intimate details of how much and why I love him, etc.....

shockers Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:24

I love/hate fb.

I love that I can put pictures of whatever we're doing on there and I can look at them with DD when we get home. I love that my far away friends and relatives seem closer... I can see the view my dearest friend can see (in Perth) within seconds.

I hate finding out that people I held dear are racist, or benefit bashers.

But, as I have pledged never to write anything negative on there, I'm really not bothered if anyone gets annoyed by my updates. They are a diary for me!

I have also been told by lots of people in our small town (face to face, not by 'like'), that they enjoy my morning photos of the countryside as I walk my dog. I find that both humbling and uplifting smile.

SneezingwakestheJesus Tue 02-Apr-13 21:14:17

Yes, Formica! I like it when you get
"My hubby is the best ever I love my lil family"
And then a comment a second later
"Aww me and little man love you too babe xxx"

And you just know they are both sat there together and she's gone LOOK AT MY STATUS. Why don't they just tell each other? Oh I know why because no one would witness and "like" it. I'd love someone to write a book about the psychology of Facebook.

formicaqueen Tue 02-Apr-13 21:01:11

The most annoying FB friends/relatives are ones who say 'my hubby Jasper is the most handsome amazing man in the world'. And yet Jasper will probably be sat next to wife as she writes the post. Seems insecure to me. However I love pictures of cakes people have made or proper news.

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 19:11:47

True Narcissists and silly boastful people are at very different places on the continuum.

Narcs live in hell actually, whatever The Great I Am facade they wish to present. They would also like to drag everyone else into hell with them.

Sorry, no insights into Facebook, don't know anything about it!

ssd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:10:36

lets do it

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 19:08:08

You sound lovely, would you like to be my FB friend . I do endless twee updates and post pictures of my pets, chickens , knitting , baking or children .

ssd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:06:53

cos I felt like it

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 19:05:21

Why would you smirk at someone's husband leaving?

ssd Tue 02-Apr-13 18:59:06

smirk thats a shame

CelticPixie Tue 02-Apr-13 18:14:15

Regarding the "I love my perfect hubby" type of updates. I was friends with someone like that, always saying how wonderful her OH was and how happy they were and then he went and ran off with someone else.

Spookyville Tue 02-Apr-13 16:45:20

I thought POF et al was were Narcs hung out for their latest victims? Most charming, handsome and amazing man who has the clothes, job, car and OCD tendencies!

ChairmanWow Tue 02-Apr-13 16:35:44

Surely nothing is as narc as posting a photo of your kids holding a sign which says 'If we get a million likes mummy and daddy will buy us a puppy'. Yuck. I like to imagine them only getting 999,999 likes. 'Sorry darling but mummy did say it has to be a million'

Pandemoniaa Tue 02-Apr-13 16:19:29

I love a cake status.

lougle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:59:48

tethersend grin

I disagree with you, OP. The most (genuinely) narc person I know has a whole other persona on FB. You wouldn't be able to pick out their true behaviour and attitudes from their FB posts, so much that sometimes I wonder if we were in the same room as each other during the incident they post about.

In fact, one of the key features of NPD is the ability to put on a social veneer which hides the true nature of the person.

YWBU if you suggested that FB reveals how self-absorbed people can be though.

I find it baffling, tbh. I can't even muster the enthusiasm to post about my egg on toast, etc.

tethersend Tue 02-Apr-13 15:53:55

I'm struggling to see how any of this affects me.

Kikithecat Tue 02-Apr-13 15:49:17

You could always comment with this link OP.

Crawling Tue 02-Apr-13 15:45:57

What bugs me is this status:
Status writer: Im well pissed off and angry cant believe Whats happened.

Responder: Whats up hun

Status writer: Il pm you now.

I mean Whats the point of posting it on fb if you only want a few people to know. But I am nosey.

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