AIBU to feel that couples who bicker in company are tedious.

(44 Posts)
lolaflores Mon 01-Apr-13 18:00:13

You know the ones; think they are cute bitching back and forward at each other. Tell people "it's just our way, we love each other really". Meanwhile, everyone else has to witness their endless power matches and one upmanship and anything like a normal conversation is impossible. Depending on how much drink is taken things get out of hand. I hate it

Don't mind me, had the in laws this weekend and this is how they operate. At one point I was stood between the two of them, trying to get an answer as to whether or not they wanted tea but became the net in a game of "what happened in that film last night"? "That wasn't it, you fool. Blah blha wha haaha dhghuien". they let me stand there with me gob swinging but they would not stop. So I fucking walked off for a fag instead. They were still at it when I got back in.

TEDIOUS. So why do some people think it is alright? Any answers for me

MidnightMasquerader Mon 01-Apr-13 23:04:16

I don't know anyone like this fortunately, but I understand my best friend's sister and her DH are like this, from what she's told me.

Constant sniping and bickering and putting each other down. They also do that awful thing where they talk through the children - isn't Daddy an idiot not wrapping you up warmly enough, isn't Daddy stupid for forgetting X, Y, Z - which must be so damaging for the children...

Apparently he shouted so loud once during one of these exchanges that both his small daughters and his neice (my friend's daughter) all burst into tears.

God knows what family life must be like, if this is what they're like in company... sad

TheOriginalSteamingNit Mon 01-Apr-13 22:49:11

Oh YES. One of them comments to you that it's night, and the other one says 'well darling, you always say its night, because your mother always claims its night, but actually it is day'. Etc.

LaQueen Mon 01-Apr-13 22:44:22

And, I'm equally bleurgh about overt displays of affection...which are generally accompanied by coy remarks about how in love they are, and how they can't keep their hands off each other ...and, clearly they think (hope) you're looking at them with thinly disguised envy... hmm

No. I'm not. I'm looking at you with thinly disguised distaste, actually.

hwjm1945 Mon 01-Apr-13 21:55:38

Yes however even worse is when couples are all flirty with each other,have v good friend who is completely different with her husband..all giddy .bugging him up and flirty an d giggling.it is v odd unnatural and off putting

Trills Mon 01-Apr-13 21:53:58

YANBU

It's not cute.

We don't care if you don't mind how you speak to each other, WE mind.

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 21:52:56

applies to

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 21:52:37

Yep, I agree

It's immature, unsociable and downright boring

Save it for when you get home, fgs and that equally applies the overly lovey-dovey stuff

Why do some people believe their petty little fuckeries are at all interesting to other people ? It's really very narcissistic, tbh

GirlWiththeLionHeart Mon 01-Apr-13 21:49:00

Yanbu at all!

I had a couple round earlier who do it, it's fucking awkward. They also say snippy things to eachother under their breath so others can't hear, horrible.

Fudgemallowdelight Mon 01-Apr-13 21:29:04

Gawd this reminds me of an ex who I split up with in the late 90s. I remember going for dinner at another couple's house and he kept putting me down and I tried to defend myself. It must have been so cringey and annoying for the other couple. It was one of the final nails in the coffin for the relationship. Thank goodness my husband isn't so insecure that he needs to do this. The guy moved in with someone else and had a baby with her after we split. HIs new partner actually phoned me to ask if i used to find that he kept putting me down. "Yes I did" I replied.

IloveJudgeJudy Mon 01-Apr-13 21:18:39

Like Armadillo my parents are like this. It's absolutely rotten, growing up in a family where the adults are like this all the time. It's as if they have no idea about the best way to behave. My father is a complete asshole and when DM is with him, she completely changes into an obnoxious person, but only with him. She has never behaved like that with any of us.

If the people that you know who bicker in company have DC, please feel very sorry for them. They are hating absolutely every minute of it. Please also understand that it is not just when they are out that they are like this; the bickerers do not know any other way to relate to each other.

YANBU. They are tedious.

specialknickers Mon 01-Apr-13 20:42:41

Oh god, we are friends with a couple who do this... It's excruciating. Constant sniping and sulking. They're both lovely, fun people separately, but together they're a total bore.

Unfortunately for us, they are our best friends sad

DoJo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:27:04

Only marginally worse to my mind are couples who are into overt demonstrations of their love, which is just as cringeworthy, but if you say anything you look like a joyless, loveless harridan who's jealous of their love for one another and wants to stomp on everyone else's fun (when actually you just don't want to lose your lunch listening to them call each other 'bubsikins', whisper in each others ears before giggling and stroking each other 'surreptitiously' right in front of you.). Not that this has happened to me or anything...!

YouTheCat Mon 01-Apr-13 19:00:08

I think if it's people you aren't that bothered about, a brief 'will you two grow up' makes you feel better and might nudge them into realising what utter twats they sound like.

I could so easily have 'bitten' when it came to the ex but knew it didn't matter. If those he put me down in front of thought it was true then fine, they weren't my friends. If he did it in front of mutual friends then they usually knew the score anyway and it just made him look like a massive dickhead.

LaQueen Mon 01-Apr-13 18:51:14

Oh, it's grim sad

We were friends with a couple like this...every time we saw them it was constant, constant bickering and sniping and petty point scoring...possibly amusing/entertaining for the first 15 minutes? But, insanely annoying and dull, after 4.5 hours.

She would dredge up stuff that had happened 17 years earlier FFS hmm and was quite capable of switching on the waterworks when she felt she was losing ground - then he'd have to cuddle her, and then a quick nip outside to make up.

It was like being trapped in a restaurant with two 14 year olds.

We don't see them now.

oldraver Mon 01-Apr-13 18:49:53

Many years ago I had some friends like this. They were lovely but to be honest she was rather bossy with him and seemed to enjoy putting him down in front of people or just belittling him. Occasionally he would bite back and you would be sat there while they bickered. I used to be astonished as to how oblivious they were that they were arguing in front of people.

Do you know, I was proud of the fact that exH and I never argued in public. TBH, we very rarely argued in private, either. I would try to provoke the occasional row but he just wouldn't join in. I was all smug about our near perfect relationship, he didn't communicate much, but I made up for it. blush Then he left me for OW.

I think had he we communicated our niggles a bit more, we might have sorted things out before it was too late.

lolaflores Mon 01-Apr-13 18:41:39

Would it be rude to point it out though? Considering the pair of twats I have to see next week (if I must)? Just like a version of "did you mean to be so rude to your partner who you swore to love honour cherish etc.?

CandidaDoyle Mon 01-Apr-13 18:37:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lolaflores Mon 01-Apr-13 18:31:53

Armadillo you make a very good point. I have to be very firm with my DH as he has witnessed his dad's take on social graces (paticularly around women) so I have to pull him up from time to time. Having said that, he is a different person, charachter wise than his dad, who as I said is a cunt. But that kind of learned behaviour goes under the radar alot for some people

TheArmadillo Mon 01-Apr-13 18:29:23

My parents did it constantly, often escalating into full on shouting. There was more shouting at home, more sniping in public.

I hated every fucking minute of it. It was mortifying. My relationship with my sister mirrored theirs, they couldn't understand why we fought all the time hmm we copied what we were taught.

They are still married and claim everything is fine, when they haven't been able to hold a civil conversation within my living memory.

lolaflores Mon 01-Apr-13 18:28:15

Kiss don't you will lose the will to live fairly soon and your arse will clench so very hard with embarrasment you may never use it again for anything useful. That or you have nerves of steel.
Boring is all that can be said of it.

I've never encountered a couple like this. I kind of want to now so I can form an opinion.

lolaflores Mon 01-Apr-13 18:23:45

FIL is a cunt though, has to be said. He has started on me before but realised I was not his wife and did not have to put up with it. Wearing. Sianilaa, that is so sad and exhausting too. Well done you for getting rid though and out of it.

YouTheCat Mon 01-Apr-13 18:22:49

My ex used to do that when it was all going tits up and for a while after. I just used to ignore him. It made him look stupid not me.

lolaflores Mon 01-Apr-13 18:21:54

LadyBeag were you provoked? Did your ex do it to entertain himself or was it just constant pissyness.

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