to not want to put my cats out :(

(79 Posts)
macdoodle Mon 01-Apr-13 13:26:29

DD2 age 5 has a friend over for a play date, also 5. Both lovely little girls.
The friend however seems terrified of cats, not mentioned to me by her mum.
I have 2 cats, one old boy who is almost 15 and just sits his days out on his blanket on the back of the settee, he rarely moves. The other young boy about 2 but calm and sweet natured.
Friend would not budge from where she was sat terrified on the other settee. She is usually a lovely outgoing little girl.
So I've had to take them both downstairs where its cold with no people, they are both sociable cats and like to be near their people sad
Everytime someone open the door, the friend jumps terrified onto the sofa.
So I guess the cats are banished for the day, but cant help being a little annoyed and sad.
We did try lots of reassurance and trying to get her to pet them first with no luck.

Sparklingbrook Mon 01-Apr-13 13:50:49

I see what you are saying TSS but it's fairly easy to avoid tarantulas. Cats are everywhere and a part of life really.

TSSDNCOP Mon 01-Apr-13 13:53:52

Well actually Sparkling I'm utterly terrified of all spiders, but I always get flamed for saying that blush.

My point is, and I agree with the prevalence of cats, if you're scared it's irrational. Heaps of cats just makes you more scared.

As I can attest during spider season. Conkers anyone?

macdoodle Mon 01-Apr-13 13:54:56

Nope cant get her anywhere near them, and old boy is now crying outside the door sad He likes to be with the people. Because of the way house is set out, the only place to contain them is downstairs.
Won't even take her into the garage where DD1 keeps her snake and 2 bearded dragons grin

TSSDNCOP Mon 01-Apr-13 13:56:01

And I've been in hilarious situations where utter bastards caring folk have tried to cure me. Putting a spider on me or inviting me to those freaking creature kids parties just doesn't work.

TSSDNCOP Mon 01-Apr-13 13:57:06

<makes note to decline invite to Mcdoodles however good her homemade cake is>

grin

Sparklingbrook Mon 01-Apr-13 13:57:59

I don't like spiders TSS, no flaming for that. I have got a bit better, but the huge ones bring me out in a sweat.

Spiders are horrible with their fat bodies and unnecessarily large amount of limbs. But Cats? Awww. Furry and cuddly and purry. grin

reluctantmover Mon 01-Apr-13 13:58:44

Poor girl. Put the cats somewhere out of the way and let your daughter play with her friend. Children and adults can have irrational fears, easily solved by moving the cats temporarily.

macdoodle Mon 01-Apr-13 13:58:48

We don't have any spiders though! However, bizarrely, my new DP had a very large tarantula which he keeps in a glass cage in his LIVING ROOM! He says its because he was so spider phobic it was embaressing for a man in his 40's so he got a whopping great spider as a pet confused

My DD is scared (as in will step into a main road to avoid) of dogs. Not being bitten or knocked over by bouncy type dogs. She's scared of being breathed on.
hmm

She's fine with cats if she knows they are there and they don't try to leap out and surprise her.
Our cat used to slip through the bannisters and jump by my DD when she was a toddler just to wind her up.

My DD is now 11yo., she's getting more rational.
If someone decided to 'overcome' her fears by subjecting her to them (ie putting her in a room with the animal she's scared off) at the age of 5, I'd be angry
It's meant though that I had to ask before she went to a friends house "Do you have a dog" and decide from there.

Did the friend's mum ask you before about the cats?

Softlysoftly Mon 01-Apr-13 14:04:34

Actually cats do more damage than spiders as my sister with cat phobia points out.

Sparklingbrook Mon 01-Apr-13 14:05:20

DS1 is 13 and is very wary of dogs, but he has a reason for it. I suppose you would imagine all teenage boys to love dogs.

Sparklingbrook Mon 01-Apr-13 14:05:49

Ooh what sort of damage Softly?

TSS you do know that you're meant to put the conkers in the corners of the room where the spiders gather- not throw them and try to hit the spiders...?

<<scuttles away in a manner befitting an arachnid>> grin

Softlysoftly Mon 01-Apr-13 14:07:07

Oh and YAB a bit u.

But not as U as bish who would shout at someone else's child for a genuine fear!

Softlysoftly Mon 01-Apr-13 14:09:35

Sparkling scratching/biting as oppose to just kind of crawling at you.

We may have had a few discussions about this smile

Oh and they are hugely detrimental to the song bird population.

She really hates them. Loves the fact that at one point or another all her family has owned one!

Sparklingbrook Mon 01-Apr-13 14:13:02

This is for your sister Softly. grin

Aaaaawwwwwwwww Sparkling that's luffly.

dancemom Mon 01-Apr-13 14:17:35

I have no idea sparkling! She is afraid of all animals! She doesn't like them sniffing her??
I get so annoyed at people saying oh it won't hurt you or just give it a stoke or oh she is friendly - she is scared, that should be enough!
I have tried to encourage her with pets of friends etc but she is genuinely terrified! It doesn't help when she reads or hears stories such as the recent tragedy of that young girl being mauled by dogs!!
Anyway, no idea why but its a genuine fear and folk saying tell her to shut up or get over it is really unhelpful!

LadyVoldemort Mon 01-Apr-13 14:17:51

Poor wee girl, I'd just keep the cats down there, it's only for the day.

I don't see how forcing her in to a situation she's genuinely terrified of would help hmm

Softlysoftly Mon 01-Apr-13 14:18:55

Lol she'll fucking hate that

<<tootles off to email>>

countrykitten Mon 01-Apr-13 14:21:55

I get really annoyed with humans who are scared of animals - yes, even children as this has usually come from drippy parents - and I would no way move an elderly cat in this way. She has to get used to them and should be introduced gradually.

YADNBU

dance my DD was never placated by someone saying "He's friendly/He's more scared of you/ or worst :He'll lick you to death"

But weirdly enough, the stories in the Press about dog attacks don't make her afraid.
And the one dog type she gets excited to see is a chunky Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

Completely irrational. hmm

countrykitten Mon 01-Apr-13 14:23:20

And yes - before I am flamed in to next week - I am aware that I sound very U. But I'll cope with that. grin

usually come from drippy parents

Yeah, right.

You don't know. You cannot make such sweeping statements.
My DC1 is great with dogs so how does your Drippy Parent theory explain that , countrykitten hmm

Maryz Mon 01-Apr-13 14:29:13

dd has one friend who really doesn't like cats. Never has (apparently a cat slept on her face once when she was a baby, and she has never managed to get used to them).

To be fair, she never makes a big deal out of it, she just feels uncomfortable, so when she is here I leave the cats out.

But the funny thing is, if the cats get in, they make straight for her, and try to sit on her knee, every time. It's almost funny. One of ours is very un-cuddly, never sits on people's knees, but goes straight to her every time she is here.

It'll be interesting to see what your dd's friend's mum says - she should have told you.

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