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AIBU?

To be really fed up that I cannot be a bf support worker

161 replies

ariane5 · 31/03/2013 21:52

I have had a tough time lately and have been thinking over last few days of something I could or aim to do to change my life and give me a bit of purpose.

Somebody I know is a bf support worker at the local hosp/bf group in childrens centre.I thought it sounded like a lovely job an started to think I might be ablr to do something like that as bf dd1 till she was 4, ds1 till he was 2.5, dd2 tillshe was 2 and currently bf ds2 11m so have loads of experience.

I thought maybe I could arrange to volunteer and get dh to perhaps change his hours (work flexible) to help me with dcs as they have health issues and enable me to get out and do something worthwhile that might cheer me up/get me out/help people etc etc.

Started to have a look at what is required etc and if there are any courses you need to do.

Then I saw you need a clean criminal record. I do not have one as in 2008 my horrible sister argued with me and said vicious things, when I slapped her (I know I shouldn't have) she phoned 999 and had me arrested so I have a caution for common assaultSad

It will stop me volunteering to be a bf support worker won't it. I'm so fed up I just wanted to get out of the house and do something worthwhile for a couple of hours a week.
I'm so fed up. AIBU or is it my own fault anyway Sad

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TarkaTheOtter · 31/03/2013 21:55

It is probably a requirement of the children's centre/hospital. I know ours require volunteers to be crb checked as working with babies/children.
There may be community groups located in village halls etc which don't require a criminal record.

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TarkaTheOtter · 31/03/2013 21:56

Ps YANBU to be disappointed but I can understand why they are cautious.

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crashdoll · 31/03/2013 21:57

Can they specify clean CRB as there is the Rehabilitation of Offenders act?

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ariane5 · 31/03/2013 21:59

I just feel so sad. I have so much experience and also ds2 was in NICU so I had to express for him /help feed him through tube etc.

I really feel I could offer so much support to people but because of my stupid mistake I won't be allowed.I actually felt excited about the prospect of doing something different and worthwhile.

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TheSecondComing · 31/03/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ballstoit · 31/03/2013 22:01

Having something appear on CRB doesn't necessarily prevent you from volunteering. There will be an application process, and I'd suggest you look into it and have a chat with the volunteer manager/supervisor who will have more information on whether your caution would prevent you from volunteering.

I was a volunteer with local Sure Start for a long time, and know of at least 2 others who had convictions, and were still able to volunteer.

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ariane5 · 31/03/2013 22:02

What I read just said you have to have a "clean criminal record" I presume it would be an enhanced crb as most of the volunteering is at the local hospital.

A caution for common assault sounds dreadful doesn't it. I had never been in any trouble at all before that or since. I'm so ashamed.

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AnythingNotEverything · 31/03/2013 22:05

Check the details of the type of crb/DBS check they actually take. Not all convictions/cautions show up on all checks, particularly the new DBS scheme which discounts all but certain offences after a certain amount of time has passed.

Also, there may be an element of discretion with the person who sifts the applications.

And finally, a caution may not even show up!

Get some more info before you give up on this. Sounds like you could be a real asset to them.

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wrongsideoftheroad · 31/03/2013 22:05

well, that is sad. but, you know, you reap what you sow. i am with tsc on this really.

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CleoBrown · 31/03/2013 22:07

Don't be too dis-heartened, on some occasions it has been known for positive crb checks not to stop employment, it really depends on the circumstances.

I would advise being up front and talking to the employer, they may need to check with the issuing police/court records to confirm your story, but I have seen a number of people who have had convictions get employment (and those who haven't, so please don't think it's a given).

If you explain your situation (and they confirm it/you get an interview) they may ask you to volunteer before applying for anything.

Volunteers at the hospitals are invaluable and a conviction does not necessarily stop them from being appointed, you could try that route in?

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badguider · 31/03/2013 22:07

I would investigate further if I were you. It might be that you just need to have no criminal convictions (which you don't have). Speak to them, or email and tell them your experiences with bf but that you have a five year old police caution on your record and ask would this stop you from volunteering.
DON'T give up without even asking the question.

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minouminou · 31/03/2013 22:08

Hi there - it might be an idea to talk to someone at the station you got your caution at.

It might be possible to have an officer draft a report or letter explaining the circumstances of your offence. They may also be able to give you advice on collecting character witnesses. Please don't give up on this ambition - there may be a way around it.

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Failedhippy · 31/03/2013 22:10

I agree with wringsideoftheroad.....don't do the crime if you can't do the time and all that.

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ariane5 · 31/03/2013 22:10

I am just so sad. It was a silly thing to do I shouldn't have slapped her (she had mocked dd1 who is disabled) and I know I should have walked away.

For that 1 slap I got arrested, cautioned and when I got home (lived with dm and dsis) the locks had been changed and at 1030pm dd1 and ds1 just 7 and 1 at the time were pushed out the door to me.

I am not a violent criminal but the caution makes me look like one on paper Sad

I just wanted to help people and make something of myself

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OhDearieDearieMe · 31/03/2013 22:11

OP - I've read your recent threads and I'm already astonished at how much you have on your plate. Do you really think it's wise (although I do get that you want to do a good thing) to take on something else at this stage?

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TheSecondComing · 31/03/2013 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffypillow · 31/03/2013 22:14

With your experience you could help alot of people, I hope this doesn't stop you from volunteering. Hope it works out for you.

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wrongsideoftheroad · 31/03/2013 22:14

eek.well i genuinely am sorry for your situation but my moral code does include not slapping people in the mush when they wind me up.

i had a peer supporter when i was b/feeding...patience is a virtue, right?

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ENormaSnob · 31/03/2013 22:14

Ariane, do you really think this is best course of action for you right now?

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NatashaBee · 31/03/2013 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wrongsideoftheroad · 31/03/2013 22:15

DOESNT INCLUDE that should say

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wrongsideoftheroad · 31/03/2013 22:16

oh, ignore my last post...

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ariane5 · 31/03/2013 22:16

I know I have a lot on but I feel like if I could get out of the house and do something different and worthwgile it might make me feel a lot better.

My life is just looking after dcs/hosp appts I really really need an interest away from that. I just thought it sounded so ideal as have a lot of bf experience I was only thinking of volunteering a couple of hours a week.

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ParadiseChick · 31/03/2013 22:20

Don't despair.

I recruit for posts that require enhanced criminal record checks, so everything comes back.

Throughout our application process you are given opportunity to declare previous convictions. These forms are kept separate from the screening process so only once an application ha been selected to go further do we open these declarations. If there is something on it another process kicks in.

The form asks for details of the conviction, Dependingevents leading up to a d after it, and your reflections. Depending on the role and the conviction nit doesn't automatically mean an application is disregarded. There's liaison with senior management etc and if we go ahead to interview someone with disclosed convictions they are offered a lo get interview slot. The interview is ran as normal then at the end we raise the conviction, give the applicant a chance to discuss it, ask more questions then make our decision from there.

The same procedure is followed for volunteers.

Phone them and ask.

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minouminou · 31/03/2013 22:20

How about volunteering on a phone helpline instead?
I know you want to get out of the house, but this could be a start.

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