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AIBU?

to think you won't want to go diving 3 weeks after giving birth

156 replies

ParadiseChick · 31/03/2013 20:30

That's right, diving. On a pretty much restarted island. 5 hours drive away from your baby...

My darljng, crazy sister is 39 and expecting her first baby in July. She lives in south east Asia with her dh, both British but been out there for 7 years now. Charmed life, big income, large house, live in maid etc etc.

I've just got back from my mums who had her weekly Skype with ds is this morning. Mum has booked to go out to my sister's about 3 weeks after the baby is due to meet the baby, see my sister and help out. Today my sister asked mum if she would look after the baby for 3 nights whilst they go on a diving trip.

Sis and her dh are seasoned, experienced divers and pre pregnancy would be away on dive trips once a month. She's obviously itching to do it again as she hasn't been able to whilst pregnant.

She's planning to bf but will express.

The island they dive on is a 4 hour drive and 30 minutes on a boat. It is pretty much deserted apart from the dive club, only has power a few hours a day when the generator is put on to refill the tanks. I've been, it's stunning, but bloody cut off!

Mum is going out on her own, isn't that confident in the country, sticks to their pool and whatever restaurant the y drive her to of an evening. She'd be happier in an exclusive beach resort but hasn't had a holiday like that for years because she goes out to see dsis every year.

Mum said no. She's happy to look after the baby so they can go out for a meal or whatever but not 3 nights with a new born n a country isn't familiar with or confident in.

Sis took the higher and said something along the line of but you look after paradise kids. Yes, she's had ours overnight on a regular basis from about 12 weeks but we're 30minutes down the road on the end of a phone if need be.

All that aside - wtf? Diving? 3 weeks post birth I still felt like my insides were falling out if I walked any longer than 10 minutes and a bra hurt never mind a fucking wet suit!

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AnyoneforTurps · 31/03/2013 20:32

YANBU. Apart from anything else, I don't think you are supposed to dive for 6 weeks after birth because there is an increased risk of DVT.

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Backtobedlam · 31/03/2013 20:35

I don't think she'll be able to, she may well still be bleeding quite heavily and as pp said, I think there is still a risk of DVT. However, I'd imagine if your mum is out there, she then has the option of going and lying on the beach for a few hours kip, or staying at home and spending time with your mum. Either way I don't suppose she has to chose now, so I'd just see how she is at the time.

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ParadiseChick · 31/03/2013 20:37

The 6 week thing crossed my mind too, considering here you are told you can't even fart for 6 weeks.

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HollyBerryBush · 31/03/2013 20:38

I was out dancing 10 days after a C-section, I wouldn't suggest everyone does it, but your sister knows her own body.

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NatashaBee · 31/03/2013 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata · 31/03/2013 20:39

Oh dear God, no way on earth would I have wanted to do that.

I think your sister may look back at herself and laugh in about a year!

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BarredfromhavingStella · 31/03/2013 20:40

It's her 1st so she doesn't know what to seriously expect after the birth, my guess is she'll change her mind.

I haven't done a dive since before my 1st pregnancy, so about 4 years Sad My priorities have changed dramatically.

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Tryharder · 31/03/2013 20:41

I would put money on the fact that once the baby is here, the diving trip will be cancelled.

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queenofthepirates · 31/03/2013 20:42

Ho ho, not yet she doesn't! Your body goes mental after you have a baby and she just doesn't know that yet.

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TeggieCampbeggBlegg · 31/03/2013 20:42

Either she'll still have post natal lochia and she'll get eaten by sharks or she'll gat a DVT/PE.

And the baby might only be a few days old if it's late. And how does she expect to express enough milk for 3 days in that time when BF won't be established.

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Bunbaker · 31/03/2013 20:42

What if the baby arrives a couple of weeks after the due date?

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Picturesinthefirelight · 31/03/2013 20:42

I seriously seriously underestimated before I had my first child the amount I would bleed and how long for. Has anyone actually told her?

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FryOneFatManic · 31/03/2013 20:43

Holly dancing is not the same as diving, which does carry extra risks.

Found this online:

"After a vaginal delivery, women can usually resume light to moderate activity within one to three weeks. This depends of several factors: prior level of conditioning; exercise and conditioning during pregnancy; pregnancy-related complications; postpartum fatigue; and anemia, if any. Women who have exercise regimens prior to pregnancy and birth generally resume exercise programs and sports participation in earnest at three to four weeks after giving birth. Obstetricians generally recommend avoiding sexual intercourse and immersion for 21 days postpartum. This allows the cervix to close, decreasing the risk of introducing infection into the genital tract. A good rule of thumb is to wait four weeks after delivery before returning to diving.

After a cesarean delivery (often called a C-section, made via a surgical incision through the walls of the abdomen and uterus), wound-healing has to be included in the equation. Most obstetricians advise waiting at least four to six weeks after this kind of delivery before resuming full activity. Given the need to regain some measure of lost conditioning, coupled with wound healing, and the significant weight-bearing load of carrying dive gear, it's advisable to wait at least eight weeks after a C-section before returning to diving. Any moderate or severe medical complication of pregnancy - such as twins, pre-term labor, hypertension or diabetes - may further delay return to diving. Prolonged bed rest in these cases may have led to profound deconditioning and loss of aerobic capacity and muscle mass. For women who have had deliveries with medical complications, a medical screening and clearance are advisable before they return to diving."

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Bunbaker · 31/03/2013 20:43

Same here Picture. It took 6 weeks before I stopped bleeding

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Pandemoniaa · 31/03/2013 20:43

It's up to your sister to decide whether she's ready to dive - assuming she'll be allowed to 3 weeks after giving birth - so this is her business not yours. However I think your dm is perfectly reasonable to refuse to be left with a newborn for 3 days in a country that she's not familiar with while your sister disappears off to somewhere remote and inaccessible.

I rather suspect that your sister may feel a lot less inclined to take this diving trip when she's actually had the baby though!

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Tryharder · 31/03/2013 20:43

Tell your sister not to be such a prat Grin

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McNewPants2013 · 31/03/2013 20:44

Is this her first baby

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McNewPants2013 · 31/03/2013 20:45

Scrap that, as it is her 1st I suspect she has no idea of the realities of her body after the baby is born.

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ihearsounds · 31/03/2013 20:45

Haha, she really thinks that she can produce enough milk for a 3 day break.

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zoobaby · 31/03/2013 20:45

Tell her she's dreaming.

No idea how she expects to express enough milk to last 3 whole days during the first 3 weeks of baby's life. Haha.

So your mum might be ok to look after baby (with a stockpile of formula on hand), but she'd need someone there to specifically look after her as well.

A bit much for your sister to expect methinks.

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ParadiseChick · 31/03/2013 20:45

Yes, first baby.

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motherinferior · 31/03/2013 20:46

Oh my dear god. How I wish I could say YABU but in truth I still felt as if I'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse and was necking the drugs and bleeding like a pig...

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PacificDogwood · 31/03/2013 20:46

Oh, how she'll laugh at her folly at some point in the future Grin!

Your mum is entirely entitled to say no to being left alone with a 3 week old baby too, nevermind what your DSis may or may feel up to post-birth.

FWIW, I felt great immediately after delivery and would have felt able to dive at 3 weeks, but that does not make it advisable, medically, or wrt to bonding and BFing.

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ParadiseChick · 31/03/2013 20:48

I think my mum laughed when she asked, asked thinking it was a joke.

My mum feels bad saying no especially, as my sister graciously pointed out, out as she does so much for us.

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Iggly · 31/03/2013 20:48

You dont know your own body post dc because it's an unknown!

First dc - I couldn't walk let alone bloody dance for the first 2 weeks.

Second dc I was up and about quickly.

You just dont know.

Also spending 3 nights away from a newborn? Again, no fucking way. I wouldn't take the baby if I were your mum.

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