To kick myself for allowing myself to be drawn in to SIL competitive parenting ?

(56 Posts)
Inseywinseyupthespout Sun 31-Mar-13 19:31:17

I'm raging with myself .

SIL is a very confident , outgoing scary woman ; she knows when she is right and doesn't give a crap what anyone thinks . She also doesn't give a crap what she says to other people even if its offensive or hurtful .

SIL is a competitive parent - she loves to make you feel like her way is right / best .

My DD2 and her DD1 are the same age - everything from pushchairs to baby milk was discussed during our pregnancies hmm

Apparently her pushchair was better because it parent faced, her choice of milk was better because it was more expensive and "more like breastmilk ..." Any decision I made, she always had a reason why she chose something "better". It irritates the fuck out of me and no matter how hard I try to ignore it , I find myself feeling inadequate and influenced in to "copying" her blush

I'm kicking myself today , as we were talking about saving for our kids etc - she said "my dd is going to be loaded as she will have her savings and will inherit our house ..."

DH and I don't own our own home and never will . I said that our DDs will have their savings , she replied "hopefully you will have enough saved to give them a deposit on their first house . My dd won't need to as she can just sell our house ..."

And I , I shit you not , replied "oh maybe I should look in to buying a house , because my DDs might not have that much .... " WTF blush

Why didn't I just say - "yeah hopefully you won't lose your job and your house ... Fuck off you condescending fuck ...."

WIBU to kick myself ?!

DorcasDelIcatessen Mon 01-Apr-13 12:59:14

I find a well timed "YAY!" while punching the air victoriously helps. It works because my SIL sometimes forgets herself and thinks that I do care about her DD solving the conundrum on Countdown at the age of 8 and a bit. She looks at me like a kicked puppy when I do it.

whois Mon 01-Apr-13 13:10:14

"Oh SIL, I do hope my DD can buy a house BEFORE I die! Gosh how horrible to be waiting for an inheritance like that"

love your responses to the emails

disengaging is the way to go

all these horrid stories, I am so sorry

(My SIL is bonkers, but not unkind. Mostly she lies and makes up stuff, which is a different facet of being less-than-confident, no one gets hurt but she looks like a tit because she forgets what she's told whom, iyswim.)

Mother2many Tue 02-Apr-13 15:48:22

I'm glad my sister never blantly threw in how much better she is to me, but MAN do I HATE when she whines about stuff, that I could only imagine.... however, her son is learning that only the best is for him... and she is raising him to be a selfish inconsiderate jerk.... he LOVE to throw in your face and everyone elses how he is so much better.

EldritchCleavage Tue 02-Apr-13 20:21:11

Hang on, there are seriously, actually apparently sane adult women out there who ask other adult women to list what chocolate their children got for Easter? Honestly?

I'm genuinely astonished. Who the hecky peck gives a stuff what other people's children (or even their own, come to that) get given for Easter?

Op, when she asks you stuff like this I think you should just giggle until she gives up.

Blimey.

ThreadWorms Tue 02-Apr-13 20:33:51

Op, my SIL sounds very similar to yours in that she is competitive in the extreme. I have never had a conversation with her that wasn't centred around how great she/her DP (my BIL)/her DCs are and how cramp we are in comparison. My youngest/her eldest are very close in age so that doesn't help.

Like you, I find myself being drawn into her games and become defensive in her presence. I have posted about her before and the advice I often received was that she was jealous if me, pure and simple. I never believed them because if her life is as great as she makes out then why would she be jealous if me?

Turns out they were right. A recent family argument occurred abs age admitted to another family member that she feels inferior to me. I still don't know why though confused.

I don't have the answer though as I still find it difficult to deal with her but just wanted you to know you have my sympathies wink.

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