Strip club!

(646 Posts)

So dh has been kicked out back to his Mothers following a night out Saturday, that ended at a strip club, not only that but also paying for a lap dance from a young girl in nothing but a thong. Ive never been so mad, there was 3 of them. It makes me feel sick, he has apologised + claimed he didn't enjoy it one bit, it was worse than he imagined etc. but i just feel like people around me ( his family) Probably think im over reacting, so my question is, what would u do?

chris481 Sun 31-Mar-13 18:04:36

It was unkind the first time someone said it, using bold is just cruel. sad

niceguy2 Sun 31-Mar-13 18:27:54

Funny isn't it? Man goes to strip club with mates and that is akin to cheating and a dealbreaker.

Women go out on night out (eg. hen night) and there's a male stripper gyrating his bits around and that's just girls having fun & letting their hair down.

Men getting a lapdance can't touch yet women can rub baby oil etc in and that's ok. Just a giggle.

Women can create groups like "Women's wankbank" on Facebook and post images on there for a bit of fun but if a man does the same then he's objectifying women.

Hypocrisy is a wonderful thing.

BelaLugosisShed Sun 31-Mar-13 18:32:22

Chris - you can expect to be ridiculed when you continue to goad on a thread with subject matter unrelated to what you are posting.

Op, what has your H said about his reasons / motivation for not only entering a strip club but actually paying a woman to dance naked for him while you are sat at home with a new baby?
I don't know which is more unacceptable tbh - him actively choosing to do what he did, or simply being led like a sheep by the others because he hadn't got the moral courage and emotional intelligence to say no.

BelaLugosisShed Sun 31-Mar-13 18:39:57

If you really can't see the difference niceguy you must be a bit dim.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 18:54:29

This thread isn't debating the rights and wrongs of strippers though is it?
The op does not-for whatever reason- like the idea of her husband going to one and paying family money to do so.
That is the only issue.
It's about boundaries within relationships.
Just because someone find that acceptable it doesn't mean everyone can.
Oh yes btw. Make strippers mostly preform in crappy venues that involve a comedian and chicken in a basket all for about a fiver.
Lap dancing clubs tend to cost more especially if you choose to pay for extras (can't get those in the community centre ladies night).and the drinks are pricey.
Do for a start there's a big difference in cost alone.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 18:57:53

Or even perform!!!

thezebrawearspurple Sun 31-Mar-13 19:00:10

they must have lost all self-respect, why else would u put ur self out there like that, no woman with any morals, respect for themselves and dignity would not spend there evening being a cock tease

I have a couple friends who put themselves through university by stripping, they have a lot of self respect, dignity and morals. As intelligent young women they chose to do a rather unpleasant job for a lot of money so that they could study and get to where they are today.

Never having to make that choice or not being in a position to do it in the first place does not make another woman better than them.

Lessthanaballpark Sun 31-Mar-13 19:36:09

But NiceGuy, OP hasn't done any of those things has she? So why are you banging on about hypocrisy? And how do you know that those women who happily pay for male strippers are the same ones forbidding their men from paying for female strippers?

Women aren't a monolith you know! We're not responsible for each others opinions.

Very poor logic.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 19:48:49

Nice guy always pops up on stripper threads to raise the tired old comparison of make strippers. Tbh it's all pretty seedy to have to get all excited about seeing someone else's sweaty genitalia especially if you know your partner would be offended by doing it.

EyesWallowsPunk Sun 31-Mar-13 20:00:26

Absolutely what Niceguy said.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 20:07:33

It's only hypocrisy if you partake if those things yourself though.
Of course you can't moan about your man going to strip clubs if you go to see male strippers and vice versa but the op has just given birth I doubt if she's been to see strippers of late.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 20:08:37

You shouldn't be expected to compromise on what you find acceptable just cos Mary up the road goes to watch the chippendales.

MooMooSkit Sun 31-Mar-13 20:19:11

I don't often get insulting but niceguy, you must be a bit slow to not see the difference.

whosiwhatsit Sun 31-Mar-13 20:31:02

Agree with you 100%, thezebra.

EyesWallowsPunk Sun 31-Mar-13 20:32:27

Let's forget hypocrisy. The point is you wouldn't get a man going on to a forum screaming blue murder that his wife paid twenty quid to go and watch male strippers. He wouldn't give a shit and he certainly wouldn't worry that the male strippers were being 'exploited for money'. Why do women feel that they have the monopoly on sexual exploitation? It really fucking bugs me.

EyesWallowsPunk Sun 31-Mar-13 20:35:00

...and for all the women on here who feel that lapdancing is dirty and degrading, I take it you have never had sex with your husband when you have not wanted to; have never swallowed when it actually disgusted you and have never faked an orgasm. All of these behaviours are degrading, no?

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 21:32:18

Gosh. I've never ever done any of those things with dh never!
And if you have then it explains your point of view nicely.
A man pleaser hmm

Lessthanaballpark Sun 31-Mar-13 21:37:58

FWIW Eyes, OP's DH did say that if she had done the reverse it would have been a dealbreaker, so that kind of squashes your point really ...

Darkesteyes Sun 31-Mar-13 21:42:44

Which proves that OPs DH is the hypocrite of the piece.

BelaLugosisShed Sun 31-Mar-13 22:06:27

Eye-swallow-spunk hmm , I think you have an agenda here , which other forum have you slithered from? Or are you just a goady fucker?

I've been with my husband 30 years - never had sex I didn't want, "swallowing" doesn't disgust me , why would it? Never faked an orgasm either.
Lap dancing clubs are degrading and exploitative and if you don't understand the difference between them and something like the Chippendales you are also a bit dim. Tacky and unappealing as male strip shows are, women are not paying for individual lap dances with them, there are no clubs purely for women to go and have the sort of experience that a LDC offers to men.

EyesWallowsPunk Sun 31-Mar-13 22:46:39

Ha! Ha! 95% of women have faked orgasm at some point. The other 5% are lying. Cream, what's wrong with being a man-pleaser? Bela, I have no agenda; I am prefectly entitled to join in any thread I choose, no? I am new to mumsnet though, does this disqualify me from having an opinion? What is a 'goady fucker' and why must I have 'slithered' from anywhere? What a nasty woman you sound.

Lapdancing clubs allow women to make lots of money from men whose fantasies have not changed throughout the ages. There is an argument that it is the men who are being exploited. A proper lapdancing club will not allow touching and will fire any dancer who allows it and will eject any bloke who tries it. I've been to male strip do's and the women are a fucking disgrace, clawing and hollering like sweating pigs. However, clubs dedicated to women wanting private dances from men do not exist because this is not what we actually crave from men is it? This isn't how we are programmed.

EyesWallowsPunk Sun 31-Mar-13 22:51:14

I think it's a disgrace that there are women who would take the moral high ground against another woman for lapdancing by calling her 'degrading'. You know nothing about the lives or aspirations of such women.

formicaqueen Sun 31-Mar-13 22:54:12

Leave it a few days/weeks and then start talking. He will have learn a huge lesson from this and i would i your shoes give him a second chance (once you have calmed down)

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 22:54:44

eyes would you care to link us all to the study that you got those statistics from please?
Rather odd to start calling people liars when new to a thread. I can assure you that I have and never will have sex with anyone I don't want to and have certainly never needed to fake an orgasm.
To be honest I think you are either a goady fucker or possibly a man or maybe just a very young inexperienced person who has no idea about relationships or at least healthy ones.
There is plenty wrong with being a man pleaser actually if it means having unwanted sex swallowing stuff you find repulsive and pretending you are sexually satisfied when you are not.
I pity you actually.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 22:56:13

Your comments regarding the sex industry are unfounded and untrue. Please do your research before making sweeping statements.

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