Ex DP left 19mth old DD in bath alone...

(42 Posts)
moonmanic Thu 28-Mar-13 19:44:06

And I had a massive go at him. He seemed to not think it was a big deal. I am of the opinion she is still too small to be left on her own and the danger of drowning is too high.

Ex DP comes round several times a week to do the bed time routine. I was in the living room when I became aware he was pottering around in the kitchen which leads into the bathroom. He then comes into the living room to ask me some random question about the radio. I assume DD is out of the bath and ask where she is, thinking she is perhaps in the bedroom. He was like, no she's in the bath. I have a go at him, rush past him and find her in the bath tub, thank god she is ok.

AIBU to think she is still way too young to be left for any amount of time in the bath? I think he is a massive douchebag. He then is in a strop with me for the rest of his time here.

Bumply Sat 30-Mar-13 02:00:39

The following is an extract on a report of drowning a in the UK.

Studies of bath drownings indicate that there is usually a history of leaving the infant or toddler unsupervised or in the care of another child. In most of the reports the supervisory adult reported leaving the infant or toddler for a short time. The clear consensus within literature suggests that lack of adult supervision is the key contributing factor to childhood bath drownings. The key preventative measure proposed is uninterrupted adult supervision of children (less than three) whilst in the bath.

WilsonFrickett Sat 30-Mar-13 01:06:58

sad molehill and much love to you.

Emilythornesbff Fri 29-Mar-13 21:37:59

Molehillmountain. I'm so sorry.

Of course. It is very brave of you to tell everyone in the first place. So sorry for your loss

Molehillmountain Fri 29-Mar-13 21:27:07

That's really lovely of you to ask, girls, but I don't think so. I just needed to put it on the thread to add to the don't leave a baby in the bath voices.

molehill sad would you like to tell us about him?

Yanbu.
Like other posters my ds has slipped under the water when I've been right next to him he is 16 months & climbs up everything.

The other day my friend was at my house with her dcs and as they were about to leave I ran the bath ready for my kids to get into.

Friend said to me she would take ds up to the bath as her dd needed the loo.

I went up a few minutes later to find him alone in the bath & her on the floor above with her 6yo child who had been on the toilet upstairs as her other child was on the loo in the bathroom with the bath in.

So it's not just men who seem to think this is ok.

Molehillmountain Fri 29-Mar-13 21:17:05

He's being a fool. My brother drowned in the bath. I still remember screaming when I found out. I never talk about it but felt the need here.

WilsonFrickett Fri 29-Mar-13 21:10:35

I know a 3 yo who drowned in the bath. And believe you me, I am laid back mum compared to a lot of people, but I never left my DS unsupervised in the bath till he was over 5.

And even now he is nearly 8, either DH or I will be on the same floor of the house as him if he's bathing or showering. Your X is being a twat.

Emilythornesbff Fri 29-Mar-13 21:06:12

He's a fucking idiot.
You must be so cross.

Thing is, I find lots of men don't like to be "told". But it could well be that he listens without acknowledging it IYSWIM.

I'm assuming he doesn't bath dc at his place.

Fleecyslippers Fri 29-Mar-13 21:00:37

Idiot. DD lost her 4 front teeth because her idiot of a father left her alone in the bath aged 22 months. She stood up, slipped and cracked her mouth open on the side of the bath.
Show him this thread.

Sparklyboots Fri 29-Mar-13 20:45:03

I might have been a bit more relaxed about this until I saw my 2yo slip under. I was sitting right there and he was fine, but the slip was almost silent and he had no effing idea how to right himself, was totally panicked. We have a one-bedroom flat so everything is basically next to the bathroom, so I was starting to think of popping out/ pottering near by but when I saw how easily he could have drowned that is completely off the itinerary for a while to come.

gallifrey Fri 29-Mar-13 20:42:07

I leave my 9 yr old and 2 yr old in the bath together but I'm always pottering about upstairs even though I'm not sitting in the actual bathroom with them.
I'm sitting in the bathroom now while the 2 yr old one is in the bath reading this.
The thing with a lot of men is they do stuff like this and then get all defensive if you pull them up on it and say things like they'll be ok and of course they are and you look like you are being over protective xx

jinxdragon Fri 29-Mar-13 20:35:43

I wouldn't even think about leaving mine alone in the bath until at least 5, and then it would only be into the next room. Just not worth the risk, get towels and everything sorted before they go in, or after.
He was a fool and I sincerely hope he realises this and doesn't do it again.

Andratx Fri 29-Mar-13 19:56:33

I am wondering what sort of age children need to be before you can leave them in everyone's opinion?

Mine were about 3.5 years before I left the actual bathroom (for a few seconds).

What is the right age?

kohl Fri 29-Mar-13 18:47:23

What a massive tool.

whoopwhoopbib Fri 29-Mar-13 18:41:56

Dp left our then 5 month old dd alone in the bath lying on a bath support while he asked me to get him something. I too went mad and was told I was overreacting as she was fine. I also posted an aibu because I wanted him to see what other people thought but he refused to read the thread. Afaik he has not left her since but I am very wary when he does bathtime especially as he was unable to see the risk.

Jelly15 Fri 29-Mar-13 18:23:21

There is a child buried in the local cemetry because she was left in the bath while her mother answered the phone and she managed to turn on the scalding hot tap. She was twenty months.

frappuccino Fri 29-Mar-13 17:17:43

YANBU. She is far too young to be left unsupervised in the bath and he is an idiot for leaving her.

Hugglepuff Fri 29-Mar-13 17:11:01

YANBU . Even if he is stupid enough to think there is only a tiny risk - why would he even take that chance ?! Show him all these posts - everyone thinks he has been ridiculous !

midastouch Fri 29-Mar-13 01:03:39

YADNBU my DP did the exact same thing with my DCs DS age 3.5 and DD 7 months (at the time) i went mad at him, he thiought i was over reacting. I still cant get through to him that i want neither of my DCs alone in the bat, as DS is not sensible enough and DD often falls forward even in her bath seat! I now bath them both myself as he clearly cannot be trusted!

SirBoobAlot Thu 28-Mar-13 22:45:16

YANBU.

I wouldn't allow him to do bath time for quite a while.

HerrenaHarridan Thu 28-Mar-13 22:41:48

Yanbu. He is an idiot!

Around the time my dd was born a woman near where I was living left her 2.5 yo in the bath while she went to get a towel, ds slipped and drowned and poor (stupid) mother went to prison. Needless to say I literally do not take my eyes off dd in the bath,

VodkaJelly Thu 28-Mar-13 22:32:36

Thinking about it, it was probably more like 1 to 2 seconds he was under, as soon as he slipped I dragged him out.

VodkaJelly Thu 28-Mar-13 22:31:02

My blood went cold reading this. Many years ago when the DC's were about 2 and 1, they were having a bath. The 2 year old was sat in the bath and sort of leaned back and slipped and went under the water.

I was standing next to the bath and saw him go under the water and I couldnt catch him in time, I pulled him out of the water straight away and he sat up coughing. He must have been under the water for 2 to 3 seconds maximum.

It scared the hell out of me, I can still picture him years later lying on the bottom of the bath, looking me in the eye.

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