unreasonable for the girlfriends/wives to go on the stag do?

(251 Posts)
SummerFin Thu 28-Mar-13 18:24:36

My partner (call him DH for now) and I am getting married next year, we have been saving for the last 3 years to be able to do this.

Our wedding is booked for August. For the stag do my partner decided that he wanted to go to Amsterdam in July. Asked about 12 people, and 8 have said they wanted to go - there was never any pressure and it was made clear that if people couldn't afford or just didn't want to go it wouldn't be a problem.

This was decided in October and now DH needs to get a deposit from the 8 people. 3 of them have said that their girlfriends/wives would only be ok with it if they could come too.

So would it be possible for DH to add 3 extra places to the trip. The women would do their thing in the day together and then join the men in the evenings.

Is this completely unreasonable?

I would never feel the need to invite myself to someones stag do.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Fri 31-May-13 10:14:58

Dead thread walking.

Noideaaboutanything Fri 31-May-13 10:10:09

If I were your Fiance Summer, I would tell them to F&*k off if they had any idea of bringing their wives, a stag do should be drunken, rude and men only, I would not really want men there who were either so bad their wives cannot trust them or were so piss weak their wives had to babysit them. It could just be an excuse from the 3 blokes as they have changed their minds, always the same when you start asking for deposits. Hope you have a great hen do which is also drunken rude and women only and an even better wedding. Good luck!

TiffanyAtBreakfast Fri 31-May-13 10:00:15

Definitely don't think the wives/gfs should go. They weren't invited, simple as that, and I doubt the other men will be very amused about the idea tbh.

I wouldn't have jumped for joy if my DH had gone to Amsterdam on his stag, not going to lie. But that's my own irrational issue, DH has never given me reason not to trust him. Amsterdam has a bit of a stigma attached to it when large groups of men go. Bit like Prague which I've been told has 'a higher ratio of women than men', lol. Ridiculous assumptions. Maybe they just want to look at windmills.

noddyholder Sun 31-Mar-13 21:52:23

Women on a stag do? Just no. How boring for all concerned

HildaOgden Sun 31-Mar-13 21:26:47

I've been to Amsterdam,*maleview*,and I live in Dublin.

It's defintely easier for a stag party to ...ahem...amuse themselves in an inappropriate manner in Dublin smile

maleview70 Sun 31-Mar-13 21:22:56

I've been to Amsterdam 3 times and believe me there are plenty of blokes who don't shit themselves when faced with prostitutes

It's amazing what 10 pints does to the mind of a bloke on the piss with his mates and where prostitutes are willing them in.

It's not for me but It is for plenty....

LaQueen Sun 31-Mar-13 21:15:29

Agree Hilda think that most regular guys would shit themselves in panic, if approached by a genuine, hard-eyed prostitute...

But, the lovely, husky-voiced colleens in Temple Bar, who will ply them with drink...lambs to the slaughter grin

HildaOgden Sun 31-Mar-13 21:12:45

I don't think it's unfair Maryz,and I'm a local but not of the trollop variety

I honestly think they would be far less likely to get up to no good in Amsterdam,they would probably be terrified of the ladies of the night!!

Dublin would lull them into a false sense of security,combine that with binge drinking and the twinkly eyes of the locals,and they have no chance of behaving <flicks hair seductively>

LaQueen Sun 31-Mar-13 21:06:17

Yep, because Dublin is just, like, so quiet and staid, with very little going on, and hardly any wimmin, or anyfink...

DH has been to Dublin on a stag-do, he says walking down through Temple Bar, is one of the few times in his adult life he's genuinely looked like this shock

Maryz Sun 31-Mar-13 21:04:38

Sorry, that was a little unfair.

But seriously, there may be no brothels in Dublin (legal ones that is, there are lots of questionable lap-dancing places), but there are pubs. With women in them. And lots of drink (far, far more than in Amsterdam).

Maryz Sun 31-Mar-13 21:02:50

Dublin shock.

Dublin ffs [hollow laughter]

They have trust ishoes and they are letting them go to Dublin.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

HildaOgden Sun 31-Mar-13 21:02:25

There are plenty of brothels in Dublin (I live here!!)

Mind you,if they go to Copperface Jacks (like most stag parties do) they will most probably get it for free wink

Bogeyface Sun 31-Mar-13 20:50:39

Well I meant a legal brothel Dontmind!

LaQueen Sun 31-Mar-13 20:00:07

I'm desperately trying to make something out of Coldtitz but, I'm struggling...

Where's Tantrums she's good at this sort of thing hmm

DontmindifIdo Sun 31-Mar-13 19:50:13

Bogeyface - I'm point blank refuse to accept there's not a brothel in Dublin!!

IMO, if you can't trust your DH to go away for a weekend and not shag someone else (paid or for free), then you don't have a stag do problem, your problem is that you have accidentally married a crap bloke...

PickledInAPearTree Sun 31-Mar-13 19:42:48

Staggy no shaggy island?

LaQueen Sun 31-Mar-13 19:26:08

You now...this could be a niche market...I could open a specialist Stag Do Resort, on a remote Orkney island.

No pubs, no booze, no women, no clubs, no jollity...

It would be perfect for the wives and GFs who don't trust their DHs. It'll make a fortune.

I think I'm gonna call it Stag Don't Island ...or maybe Stalag Island hmm

PickledInAPearTree Sun 31-Mar-13 19:16:44

What about caldey island? There's nothing on there but a church. There are birds but not the type you'd like go get to know after a few pints.

LaQueen Sun 31-Mar-13 18:41:12

Totally agree (as always) Bogey.

The problem when someone has these sort of trust issues, is that no one else can actually help. Even if you try and accommodate them, and their wishes, ultimately nothing will get cured. Because, basically you cannot 100% totally control someone else 24/7 - life isn't like that.

Infidelity has nothing to do with location, it is an attitude.

I know someone whose DH never, ever went out without her. Never. But he still managed to have an affair...he met someone at work, and they used to nip back to her house, just over the road during their lunch hour sad

diddl Sun 31-Mar-13 17:36:38

How long before they are asking to go to Dublin also??

Bogeyface Sun 31-Mar-13 17:04:12

So because there are no brothels they wont have sex with someone else? If someone can't be trusted then they can't be trusted, and they will cheat if they want to whatever the circumstances. And if they can be trusted but the partner has jealousy issues then the place wont make a difference to that either.

I think your DH2B should have the stag he wants, no WAGS allowed and let his friends sort out their own marriage problems rather than expect him to change his one and only stag weekend to suit their paranoid other halves.

HildaOgden Sun 31-Mar-13 15:18:55

Dublin can be worse! grin

Are the wives/girlfriends planning on tagging along to Dublin too/

SummerFin Sun 31-Mar-13 15:14:35

Update if anyone actually cares -

Turns out just one of the women didn't want her DH to go basically because of trust issues.

She then spoke to the other two women and got them quite worried about it too.

DH has spoken to his friends and they really want to go but if they went on their own it would cause lots of problems now. So unfortunately DH has decided to cancel the trip to Amsterdam and are looking at going to Dublin now.

TrollFoot Fri 29-Mar-13 21:05:25

Sorry it didn't help.

Re: I had a man at mine.
nice catch

aldiwhore Fri 29-Mar-13 20:59:19

I had a man at mine.

I also had no strippers.

Or wings. Or condoms. Or all that shit.

It was for me and my mates to go out and have fun without WAGS, just us lot, the old school I suppose... and they included men.

So no, it doesn't help at all really. Hope that helps.

I also didn't have ANY ladies on my hen night, just women.
My DH wanted his best mate on his 'stag' do, no problem... he didn't go to strip joints either. I'm not sure a strip joint is actually in the rules, or a must have?

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