Aibu to think if I want to go on the fucking plane I shall go on the fucking plane?

(149 Posts)

Or is my dislike of the ex making me act "irrationally" (which is what he alleges)

Me and the ex and all of the DCs have been invited to an event. We have separate invites, me and him, but we are all invited. It is very important to the person doing the inviting that we are there and that we bring the DCs

Ex was on the phone last night (discussion Easter holiday arrangements which have to change to suit him - whole other thread) and asked me did I get invited. I said yes

He then said "good. We can all go in my car"

I said no I wanted to fly.

He says I'm being irrational.

My reasons are :

His driving stresses me. I hate sitting in the car with him driving

DD GETS CAR SICK I don't want this any more than we have to why put her through it

The plane is just a cheap and quicker and we can get collected at the other end

I think it sends the wrong message for us all to rock up together. We are not together. We are divorced and have been for years. We are not a happy family.

So Aibu?

I don't see why it's a problem. You say no. End of discussion.

I won't see DS do this ever again. I want to make it last. I want to make it an experience.

Sounds wonderful...go on the plane, I hope you all have a fantastic time, you must be very proud smile

ChairmanWow Wed 27-Mar-13 08:22:28

Sounds like you know what to do. I can't imagine a long car and ferry journey and back in a day is going to be much fun with Mr £2.40. I also can't imagine the other DCs turning down the opportunity to go shopping and hang out with their big bro in favour of a miserable journey either.

Your ex will look stupid and bloody-minded driving and dropping in, which by the sounds of it is exactly what he is.

Have a lovely, relaxing trip and enjoy being a proud mum.

He will harp on and on and on and on and on

I intend to book flights this weekend. And then it's a done deal.

If you were divorced, would you want to sit in a car and on a ferry for hours and hours with your ex?

I don't really understand why he even suggested it tbh.

MoetEtPantsOn Wed 27-Mar-13 08:23:03

Are you expecting him to pay half of the plane fares? I can see why he thinks he should have a say if so. BUT I have to say your plan sounds nicer and also that your DS sounds just lovely.

SoupDreggon Wed 27-Mar-13 08:23:51

Tell him you've already bought the tickets and can not get a refund.

And thank you all.

He really twists things and makes me feel small and like a "stupid woman"

I can see why he is your ex! I agree with SoupDreggon, just tell him you've booked it already and if he starts moaning do an internal "la la la I'm not listening la la la" whilst sticking your middle finger up at the phone grin

No I'm not expecting him to pay for it. If I go on the plane I will pay for me and as many DCs as want to go with me. It's about £50 each tops if we book it now. I'll hardly be taking on a massive debt to pay for it.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Wed 27-Mar-13 08:26:15

Just tell him its a done deal, you have booked the tickets and you'll see him there. End of. Don't engage. Ignore.

I am flabbergasted that he thinks he gets a say in how you travel somewhere! The nerve.

Have a lovely time with your son. x

SoupDreggon Wed 27-Mar-13 08:26:36

If I had the choice between sitting in a car for hours or jumping on a plane I would be on that plane like a shot.

And that's ignoring the fact that I can't be within 6ft of my ex without my skin crawling.

mirai Wed 27-Mar-13 08:28:39

It sounds lovely and you're going to have a fantastic time. Of course you should fly the day before and make a minibreak out of it. I don't understand for a second why you're even considering allowing your dipshit ex to ruin your plans. Let him drive. "No, that won't work for us." is a complete sentence!!

mirai Wed 27-Mar-13 08:29:32

Yeah, just stop engaging and book the tickets NOW!! grin PS his girlfriend sounds lovely smile

I am slightly concerned about the student house but he swears he'll clean before I get there grin

MortifiedAdams Wed 27-Mar-13 08:31:27

Just tell.him 'im flying there on Saturday, we will see you there whenever'.

«dont know if it is saturday, just picked a random.day»

I said I'd give the girls money to go shopping with. He said no, this was his treat.

I want to cry I am so proud.

Well that's part of the problem grin

He can't find the email/piece of paper that tells him exactly what day it is.

He says he will let me know today. (He is incredibly laid back)

TigerFeet Wed 27-Mar-13 08:34:13

he just wants you to subsidise his trip, which of course you're under no obligation to do. fly, make a weekend of it and enjoy smile

He does know what WEEK it is, just not the exact day.

I want it to be fun and laughs and silly.

Mr £2.40 would make us take a flask and a picnic for the boat because the food is too dear (been there) he wouldn't spend Christmas. If I treated the kids to a silly hat or something he'd have a face on.

My friend thinks he wants us to go together so he can control me and how the trip dynamic works, if you get my drift, so that its more his sort of time.

But it should be how DS wants it. It's his big day.

lottiegarbanzo Wed 27-Mar-13 08:39:39

I don't know why you feel the need to justify yourself. Just make your plans. Sounds like he just wants to split his costs.

50BalesOfHay Wed 27-Mar-13 08:39:51

Fly business class. That should wind him up even more. I would. <but am childish when dictated to>

lottiegarbanzo Wed 27-Mar-13 08:41:50

Btw, why is your spending any of his business? Answer - it isn't.

I feel for the GF actually. Shopping with teenaged girls. She's braver than me ;)

Business class would be hilarious. He'd go puce with rage and indignation at the waste of money.

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