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to suggested meeting up with friend, her DH &DC somewhere other than my house?

(14 Posts)
Troubleintmill Tue 26-Mar-13 22:22:55

Friend is travelling back to home town for Easter weekend, staying with family. Has suggested meeting up, though that suggestion seems to mean coming to our house but arriving round lunchtime, straight after travelling for a couple of hours.
If I was a decent person I'd be making them lunch no problem wouldn't I?
Instead, I have suggested meeting up somewhere for lunch. AIBU? It is partly laziness on my behalf, obviously. I'm afraid I'm not a great host, I tend to get very flustered and can't relax when people are round. So for me it's the easy option to meet somewhere and let someone else do the work while we have a pleasant time catching up etc . Of course we would pay for their meals at the suggested eating place as its my suggestion to go there.
I await being called a lazy mare....!

nkf Tue 26-Mar-13 22:24:15

It's not unreasonable - unless you are taking them to McDonalds.

Flisspaps Tue 26-Mar-13 22:24:15

YANBU

HollyBerryBush Tue 26-Mar-13 22:26:29

Why are you paying for their meals if they have suggested meeting with you?

SkinnybitchWannabe Tue 26-Mar-13 22:46:55

Why pay for their meals?
I go out with friends to resturants Ive suggested and wouldn't dream of paying for their meals as well Im a tight arse

Troubleintmill Tue 26-Mar-13 22:51:14

Paying for meals as I feel guilty for not cooking lunch at our house and for suggesting meeting elsewhere when they asked to come here to visit.

If they lived locally and we were just meeting up for meal I wouldn't be paying!

Perihelion Tue 26-Mar-13 23:28:31

Pizza, salad, a vague tidy and pracitice your hosting skills.
I used to be like you and found it hard to relax having people round. Now, I enjoy it more than going out. Especially with kids involved, they can go and play instead of figiting in a busy restaurant at Easter.

Xmasbaby11 Tue 26-Mar-13 23:30:53

YANBU. I love hosting, but totally understand my friends who don't. I am more than happy to be taken out, and would much prefer that so that my friend is happy and relaxed.

Lueji Wed 27-Mar-13 03:43:49

I think it's not very nice of them to make themselves invited to lunch, unless you suggested the time.
Otherwise, they should be inviting you out.

MidniteScribbler Wed 27-Mar-13 03:59:24

Tell them you're renovating. "So sorry, the place is all a mess because we're painting. Best to meet at a restaurant."

CautionaryWhale Wed 27-Mar-13 04:06:20

lazy mare grin

I am of course kidding - of course YANBU, and as long as you can find somewhere available given it's Easter she should be fine with it esp as she has kids and a messy house of her own.

The DC can go and play outside in the snow if wherever you go has an outside bit: Failing that a wacky warehouse (awaits flaming).

Seriously though it is a bit of a short notice imposition if you are not up to it otherwise and I personally don't see the issue in having a pub lunch catch up and gossip.

MidnightMasquerader Wed 27-Mar-13 04:20:16

A bit tight of them arranging to land on you at lunch time. So on that basis, YANBU, and I say this as someone who loves hosting.

Troubleintmill Wed 27-Mar-13 07:26:02

They are literally driving from their house to ours and arrival time is stated as lunchtime! I would feel bad if we stayed here and I hadn't prepared anything reasonable, specially as its Easter ( they are quite religious, us not so).
The place I have suggested is a big family friendly pub with a great indoor play area for kids so our DCs should be happy.
I will be hosting on other days over the wkend with DHs family but find that a bit more relaxing.
We have 2 dogs aswell who although are ok with our DC I'm not sure about with others so its extra complication to try and keep them separate, our house is a bit oddly laid out and the dogs usually get kept in the basement where the kitchen is. We have stair gates but not sure what people who not used to the layout/how we do things will be and their DC will want to pester the dogs which I wouldn't be comfortable with.
Anyway as the general consensus is IANBU then we will chance the pub and we'll get there early to bag a table. Hopefully they'll be ok with that!
Thanks for your replies.

whistleahappytune Wed 27-Mar-13 10:33:49

Sounds sensible to me, OP. I would much prefer a friend be honest with me, even to say "I just didn't want to deal with preparing food, let's go out". I'd be delighted.

Also, I think you're very classy to offer to pay.

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