to wonder what came first - "MN speak" or general everyday language

(26 Posts)
peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 20:44:56

This is not intended to be a negative post.
I think it may be an age/culture gap one.
I read MN threads and hear phrases bandied about that I had never heard of pre-MN. This could be because I am older (but really not that much - 44),
So I wonder whether I have missed some "life-lesson" when certain terms were becoming popular. I am especially intriged by terms like Disneydad", "narcissistic", "toxic parenting", "enabling behavior" etc...
Did these terms (which are great and very descriptive) exist a few years ago? Where did people "learn" them? They appear to be used with the assumption that everyone knows what they mean - I must admit that for some I needed to look it up or ask frends!
SO AIBU in wondering what came first - mumsnet descriptive terms or something else?

sleepyhead Tue 26-Mar-13 20:56:16

Disney dad sounds like it came from the US.

Narcissistic is a term used to describe a very specific personality disorder but which is used by lay people with no mental health experience to describe someone who they think exhibits particular behaviours.

Toxic parenting is self-help territory where lots of things are toxic. I suspect it was the title of a book first of all.

sleepyhead Tue 26-Mar-13 20:57:15

None of these are mn-specific btw, but probably are much more commonly used on the Internet in general, and talk boards specifically rather than real-life.

peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 20:59:43

Oh that's good to know - I thought they were terms that I had "missed the boat" on - but I guess they are more everyday speak than I thought. Thanks for that.

WMittens Tue 26-Mar-13 21:04:47

Well as 'narcissistic' comes from the name of the Ancient Greek god Narcissus then yes, it predates MN.

peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 21:13:46

WMittens - thanks for that cos I would never have made the connection without you smile

WorraLiberty Tue 26-Mar-13 21:16:52

A few of those terms (and many more on MN) sound like they've come straight from a therapist's textbook.

I don't think they're as 'popular' in RL as they are on here.

I've certainly never heard anyone describe someone as 'toxic' in RL thank god

peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 21:22:24

Are they used by younger posters then? I ask because DSD (30) is a psychology teacher and she is more familiar wiith these terms than me. Or is it a case that they become "MN Speak" if they are used often enough?

WMittens Tue 26-Mar-13 21:36:37

WMittens - thanks for that cos I would never have made the connection without you

No need to get sarcastic, you're the one who thought 'narcissistic' originated from the Internet Age.

manticlimactic Tue 26-Mar-13 21:39:24

What is a Disney dad? I've heard of the other before I started using MN.

EarnestDullard Tue 26-Mar-13 21:42:08

I think a lot of what passes for "MNspeak" has been imported from elsewhere and adopted here, rather than invented by MN or MNers. Even the MN classic "Did you mean that to sound so rude" is something I know from a different site going a few years back, although that could be a coincidence.

sleepyhead Tue 26-Mar-13 21:46:16

I think Disney Dad (I'm assuming this from context) is a dad who gets to seem like Mr Perfect because he swans in and does all the fun bits of being a parent while leaving the rest to the mother (usually ex-W).

I've also seen step mothers refer to their partners wanting to be a Disney Dad which I'm assuming means they want to be nice all the time, spoil their children with treats and never tell them off.

Not sure if it's meant to refer to dads in Disney films, or dads who take their children on holiday to Disney or Disney as a saccharine, unrealistically fun place.

peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 21:49:26

Oh WMittens - I'm sorry if I confussed you with my post - I was asking about how certain terms became synonomous with mumsnet. Thanks to your clarification I am now aware that "Disney" refers to a 20th century animator and "toxic" is something that I should be extra careful about; especially when dealing with pedants on MN.

peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 21:53:01

I think terms such as disneydad are brilliant as they describe emotions/attitudes/frustrations so very well - in just one word - I think it's a wonderful word.

WMittens Tue 26-Mar-13 21:53:15

Yes, I'm easily confussed with synonoms, probably because I get them confused with synonyms.

Did these terms (which are great and very descriptive) exist a few years ago?

Luckily it's now all abundantly clear.

peppersquint Tue 26-Mar-13 21:58:02

Wmittens - okay can we draw a truce please? Don't want to go off track.

Is "cock lodger" a MN concept or did it exist as a phrase before MN?

HillBilly76 Wed 27-Mar-13 00:37:56

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 27-Mar-13 07:20:34

I don't understand what you mean by synonymous with mumsnet.

Do you mean that everyone in the world associates these words with mumsnet? That when anyone says "disney dad", they think of mumsnet? cos I'm reasonably sure that's not true.

Or do you mean that lots of people on mumsnet use these terms?

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 07:37:23

Nothing you've listed is unique to MN. I've been on the internet from the start and knew most of them even pre-internet.

Perhaps you've just had a very nice life with no toxic narcissistic people in it?

lottiegarbanzo Wed 27-Mar-13 08:08:27

My experience is similar OP, it's easy to understand from context what these terms mean but I don't hear them in RL. I'd assumed they came from some posters with experience of counselling and others who've swallowed a few self-help books, then fallen into common use here, including some obviously loose and inaccurate use, as with the great enthusiasm for identifying 'narcissists'.

ginmakesitallok Wed 27-Mar-13 08:10:45

I don't think any of these terms are particular to MN - DP,AIBU, pombears on the other hand...

peppersquint Wed 27-Mar-13 11:56:28

I mean that they are used a lot on MN. I don't know about other sites as I don't visit them. I meant that I had not heard these terms used in everyday speak until I found MN

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 27-Mar-13 12:31:46

ah, ok, well, no. They're words used all over the shop.

I'd never heard disingenuous or emotional affair used all the time until I was on here, now I hear it all over the place.

I had to look up disingenuous the first time I saw it. blush

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 27-Mar-13 12:32:31

dp isn't unique to mn. the whole dd, dp, dh, ds stuff is just bog standard forum speak.

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