Are SAHMS discriminated against. Red magazine are doing an article about it.

(1000 Posts)
Darkesteyes Mon 25-Mar-13 16:58:46

Just seen this on twitter.

Are stay at home mums discriminated against? Are you one and unhappy with benefits, or feel judged? Tell us.
Marisa.bate@redmagazine.co.uk

ihategeorgeosborne Tue 26-Mar-13 21:48:55

Also, agree with karma. Why should people pay 40% tax on earnings above 32k? They are paying the same percentage as people earning nearly 150k. How is that right? The government seem to think that 50% tax is too high for people earning over 150k, so how the hell can they justify 40% tax for people earning 32k.

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 21:49:08

Not all providers are good for children,not all children are happy in childcare and no provider is as good as a parent.

maisiejoe123 Tue 26-Mar-13 21:49:16

What has your choice of man got to do with the government? Chose wisely and then you wont be in that situation.

If you choose someone who shirks his responsibilities and insist on having children with them and become a SAHM, well you are really reducing your options. Why someone else should then be responsible for your error in judgement is confusing. Surely you knew what they were like before you lived with them, gave up work and had children....

ihategeorgeosborne Tue 26-Mar-13 21:50:53

Yes, if families with a single earner on 60k are too wealthy to receive child benefit. Can someone please explain how families earning loads and loads more are not too wealthy to receive a child care freebie? Genuinely interested.

maisiejoe123 Tue 26-Mar-13 21:51:06

I disagree Kazoo - there are very disadvanted children with very poor upbringings who are much better of outside of the family unit and to say no provider is as good as a parent - what all of them??

janey68 Tue 26-Mar-13 21:51:27

'Not all providers are good for children,not all children are happy in childcare and no provider is as good as a parent.'

A childcare provider isn't a parent and never replaces what the parents are and do, so that's something we agree on smile

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 21:52:47

And it's a shame many children have to go without either parent for often as long as 10 hours a day.

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 21:54:35

Maisie you're talking about a minority.Children in a normal,happy home would prefer/be better off with a parent(if that parent wanted to be there) than 10/6?hours a day in childcare.

ihategeorgeosborne Tue 26-Mar-13 21:55:21

Incidentally, my oldest dd was telling me once how so and so in her class always had x, y and z gadgets and why didn't she. I explained that both her parents worked. I told her that she could have more of these things if I was bringing home money too, but she would have to go to after school club and breakfast club. She told me point blank, that she was happy the way things were and she didn't want to do that. She has never asked me about having more 'stuff' since. I think that told me that in our situation, they prefer me to be at home.

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 21:56:51

Obviously if a family couldn't make ends meet then childcare would be preferable/necessary but to pretend somehow that childcare is desirable and children need it is wrong.

Parents have been parenting since time begun just fine

fedupofnamechanging Tue 26-Mar-13 21:57:25

maisie you are missing my point entirely. I think the govt should be responsible for ensuring that the men, themselves pay proper maintenance for their dc and former spouse. As things stand the govt doesn't enforce this and as a consequence you have many women relying on benefits who otherwise wouldn't be.

As an aside, generally women think they have chosen well. Few women think 'This man is a complete fuckwit - I know, I'll have a bunch of kids with him'.

Goldenbear Tue 26-Mar-13 21:58:43

Mirry, I think it is very much evident that it isn't a 'non argument'.

janey68 Tue 26-Mar-13 21:58:47

For someone supposedly happy with your lot kazoo, you seem to be worrying an awful lot about unknown children who are supposedly pining away in day orphanages. You know your own children and what's best for them. You don't know anyone else's.

If I were being cynical I might suggest you seem to have a desire to want to undermine WOHP... but then that would be a strangely unpleasant thing to do wouldn't it...

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 21:59:03

Ihate we had the same conversation re gadgets,holidays,house size,horseriiding etc.All 3 hated the idea.

At least it eradicates nagging for things.grin

ihategeorgeosborne Tue 26-Mar-13 22:00:11

Yes, I do laugh about choosing a 'responsible' spouse. Surely everyone does this to the best of their knowledge. Obviously, none of us can see into the future and what might happen in life. How can anyone possibly know?

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 22:00:47

Janey. I do,I was a teacher. I care about children.

I don't think we've even begun to see the fallout yet re this issue.Behaviour in schools,behaviour in boys,depression in teenagers.I guess only time will tell.

anotheryearolder Tue 26-Mar-13 22:00:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy Tue 26-Mar-13 22:01:22

Housewifery is post war affectation.the norm before was women and children worked
Factories and education acts put tariffs on working day,and loosely tried to compel children out workplace
Don't kid yourself on that housewifery is the norm for masses.it isn't now,and in past only v rich women were at home with governess who did the childcare

maisiejoe123 Tue 26-Mar-13 22:03:21

So now ALL children would be better off with a non working parent.. And exactly how would that work? You are looking at this as blue sky (or from your own set of circumstances).

40 years ago marriages lasted (rightly or wrongly tbh). Now they dont. We need to ensure that society moves with this. Paying and chasing endless numbers of men to get them to pay maintenance/support etc will have to be funded by someone and it is unlikely to be the SAHP.

anotheryearolder Tue 26-Mar-13 22:04:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 22:04:47

No it's arguing the point that facilitating mothers who want to be at home with their dc and dc who want to be at home instead of at childcare is important and should be looked at.

Ignoring that parents/kids want/need this to shelter wp's feelings is wrong.

Kazooblue Tue 26-Mar-13 22:05:42

No another and going to work doesn't make you a more deserving citizen.

janey68 Tue 26-Mar-13 22:06:54

'I don't think we've even begun to see the fallout yet re this issue.Behaviour in schools,behaviour in boys,depression in teenagers.'

You can barely disguise your hope kazoo!!

You'd be very disappointed with my children who have turned out fine, despite going to a loving childminder old witch, and then a fabulous nursery orphanage. They are very happy, emotionally in tune and don't nag for gadgets either. Oh wait... you're going to tell me in a moment that I'm not out of the woods yet, they may turn bad at age 40 or something. grin

maisiejoe123 Tue 26-Mar-13 22:07:24

Its funny how Kazoo and a few others are saying that when the children asked them for the latest gagets and explained that due to them not working they couldnt afford them they went skipping off merrily...

Of course they would say that whether it was true or not. It backs up their argument that their children really really want them at home and no gaget in the world is now necessary.

anotheryearolder Tue 26-Mar-13 22:07:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

This thread is not accepting new messages.