to want to start the most controversial thread ever

(106 Posts)
slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 16:35:00

I guess it's cos i'm bored.

FairPhyllis Mon 25-Mar-13 19:35:38

Did you seat couples separately at your wedding meal?

ElphabaTheGreenAndBlacks Mon 25-Mar-13 19:37:26

Did you get your three-day old baby's ears pierced because it makes her look adorable?

Lotkinsgonecurly Mon 25-Mar-13 19:37:47

I need a holiday, heli skiing next week and the Caribbean at half term I'm just so tired. The housekeeper calledme needy when I asked her to pack for me.

FBmum Mon 25-Mar-13 19:37:55

Don't forget your troll of a MIL who is trying to steal your DC away from you by daring to offer it a haribo. And she KNOWS you don't allow that.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 25-Mar-13 19:38:19

Never mind all that, I want to know what you named your hamster.

And if you haven't got a hamster, shame on you.

INeedThatForkOff Mon 25-Mar-13 19:39:52

You invited your DP's cousin and DW, who is BFing a newborn, to a childless wedding in New Zealand and have got the arse with them because they expect to bring the dratted kid.

And there's nothing on the gift list under £200.

KoalaFace Mon 25-Mar-13 19:41:38

Are you a sahm with rage towards working mothers?

Or a working mum who resents those lazy sahm?

Those are my faves! Haven't seen one in ages sad

elQuintoConyo Mon 25-Mar-13 19:44:54

I shoot pandas and leave.

My nanny wore a bikini on the beach with my dc, aibu to ask she covers up as she made me look like a beached whale?

Went to a neighbour's party and was horrified there were no pombears. Wwyd?

I'm 3 months pregnant and think people should give up their seat to me on the bus - can't they read the signs? I'M SPECIAL!

My MIL bought DS a pink bear. I may have to move to the other side of the country and throw it away.

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:05:38

Oh, and we don't..........

RECYCLE!!

StanleyLambchop Mon 25-Mar-13 20:09:02

Why can't people get their food before taking up a seat in a cafe?

My au-pair wont work a 60 hour week for just 25p!!

My MIL looked at me in a funny way. Should I LTB?

This is a brilliant thread. I am enjoying myself immensly.

<I really don't get out much. No really>

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:17:33

OMF gawd, have to get Bodwin's Law in here.

Nazis.

Spice17 Mon 25-Mar-13 20:18:32

I dripfeed and seemingly contradict my own story, thus enraging other MNetters, I then get in a massive strop because people don't agree that I shouted at DH for eating a cake I wanted to throw away! Remember that one hmm I then start saying 'FFS' and putting everything in bold

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:21:31

or to tell you about my DH's tiny dick and my giant flange? warning TMI alert!

StanleyLambchop Mon 25-Mar-13 20:24:36

Oh yes, the throw away cake thread! That was hugely entertaining!!! You just don't get that level of utter unreasonableness anymore. Wistful sigh for the good old threads of yesteryear.

elQuintoConyo Mon 25-Mar-13 20:28:03

Op you should fuck off to the far side of fuck and fuck off some more.

Then leave the bastard!

I may have to go on Twitter and complain about my local Starbucks as they didn't prevent little Johnny getting a booboo from jumping off the chair - they should really put on some extra staff!

I'm getting married on a Tuesday next month, in the Seychelles, you're all invited to the evening do. No kids. Bring your own cutlery. There'll be a box at the door to put your envelopes of cash in.

DH just ate the last chocolate - I should cut one leg off each of his suits and distribute his wine around the village, shouldn't I?

MordecaiAndRigby Mon 25-Mar-13 20:29:12

Bodwin's law grin

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:31:30

Fascist.

And yes, Mordecai that is aimed at YOU>

StanleyLambchop Mon 25-Mar-13 20:31:38

DH just ate the last chocolate - I should cut one leg off each of his suits and distribute his wine around the village, shouldn't I?

No, just cut off his actual leg. YANBU

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:34:02

AND .. I had to unfriend a friend because she gave me instant instead of freshly ground coffee. Can you believe it?

elQuintoConyo Mon 25-Mar-13 20:34:14

(The 'fuck off OP' was a joke thanks )

I've decided I AM going to call my DD Savanna-with-no-h and too hell wiv you lot telling mee I carn't spell.

I thought MN was a nice place to be but it turns out you are a nest of vipers, I shall be leaving now, after the way I've been treated, and going to that other place where they will agree with me more!

...really, I'm going.
...you can't stop me.
...
Does no one even care?
<flounce flounce flounce>

MordecaiAndRigby Mon 25-Mar-13 20:35:59

Don't giveaway his wine fgs! Drink it yourself.

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:36:04

LOL elquinto I knew it was a joke. My favourite is:

Fuck off. Then fuck off again. Fuck off some more and keep fucking off until you fuck off back here. Then fuck off.

elQuintoConyo Mon 25-Mar-13 20:36:30

slippysofa you're hilarious!

My efforts pale into blah. I hate you. Aibu?

slippysofa Mon 25-Mar-13 20:40:12

elquinto - Nope. Many people do hate me. Especially women. It's because I am so beautiful and their husbands fancy me.

VanitasVanitatum Mon 25-Mar-13 20:42:51

Am I being unreasonable???

Yes you are

No I'm bloody not you're all morons

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