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To ask you about your/others you know well memories of being bfed?

(49 Posts)
k2togm1 Mon 25-Mar-13 15:15:53

Ds just turned two. He still bf lots and shows no signs of wanting to stop. I am happy to carry on, but DH is wondering what happens when ds can remember it long term.
We didn't get to finish the conversation so not sure what his issue is, but he asked me how I would feel if I remembered being bfed, and I don't know, perhaps my relationship with my mum would be better, or not, I don't think it's something one can imagine accurately, so i wanted to ask you. Do you remember being bfed? If so, what does it mean to you now? Even more interested in men who remember it!

k2togm1 Thu 28-Mar-13 18:36:20

grin noteventhebestdrummer, how lovely.

I agree that it is a lovely thing to share, and there are so many more factors that go into making them their future adult selves that it in itself cannot be blamed for ruining their future relationships, right?
Well, we shall continue simply for ease of life...

Feminine Tue 26-Mar-13 09:29:46

Oh forgot, dd (4) tried to help herself last week as she was feeling poorly...the barrel had run dry though!

That is after a year of no b/feeding!

Feminine Tue 26-Mar-13 09:28:37

I fed my second son till he was 2.

he remembers it very well, the flavour etc...

so does my DD , I fed her till she was 3. I think she has even more memories as she has just turned 4.

My eldest was b/fed till 1, he (obviously) has no recollection whatsoever! grin

mercibucket Tue 26-Mar-13 09:23:17

I fed dd til school and noone knew as we just didn't talk about it. By then it was just part of a morning snuggle. It is a long time til school and very very few women bf that long, so no point your dh worrying about it til it happens! Dd remembers, as it was only a few years ago, but it rarely comes up in conversation

exoticfruits Tue 26-Mar-13 09:12:53

Children have completely different memories. They remember things that you forget and forget what you think important.

Eskino Tue 26-Mar-13 09:11:47

Thanks Linus and Panzee, yes I think there are other reasons that don't spring to the forefront of his mind as to why their relationship is like it is. smile

My brother and I were bf for a year or so. I don't remember even seeing him being fed, which would have been until I was over five.

I fed DS1 for 26m. A few months later I talked to him about it and he had forgotten - in fact he was completely incredulous.

Chiggers Tue 26-Mar-13 07:36:26

I was BF until about 2yo and I have a very strained relationship with my mum. Saying that, I vaguely remember my dad bottle-feeding me and I have a very close relationship with him.

The differences in the relationship between both parents was that I felt throughout my childhood that my mum was getting too close, which unnerved and agitated me, whereas my dad stepped back, just let me get on with things and was always there if I needed him.

exoticfruits Tue 26-Mar-13 06:11:00

I would say that most people don't remember and I can't see why it would be of any importance to them if they did. It would only become an issue if there were problems in the relationship. I don't know how long my mother fed me- it isn't anything of interest to ask.

LinusVanPelt Tue 26-Mar-13 04:21:55

Sorry, I meant DP not XP Eskino ! On the phone, sorry.

LinusVanPelt Tue 26-Mar-13 04:20:15

Eskino it sounds like your poor XP and his mum are in denial about much bigger issues in their relationship. They can't seriously think that the infant feeding method his mother used decades ago is really the cause of their 'strained and slightly cool relationship'?!

It's lovely that he's supportive of breastfeeding. But if it's because he thinks that not having done so would have meant you'd be a cool and distant mum like his, he sounds a bit deluded.

Oh, and most children love cuddling with their mum. I doubt it has much if anything to do with how they were fed.

Sorry OP, no memories here, though I was bf for awhile and also bf'd my dd. I'd guess that in the overwhelming majority of cases, people who do have memories from toddlerhood / childhood would consider them to be positive memories. I'm sorry Fefifo that this isn't true for you.

Panzee Tue 26-Mar-13 04:14:30

Eskino please reassure him that not breastfeeding does not cause strained/cooler relationships with mothers. I was bottle fed and my mum and i are as close as can be. It can't be healthy to think that way through your adult life.

MsAkimbo Tue 26-Mar-13 04:06:06

I never was, so no.

Personally, I think if people can/do remember, it will help make for a more tolerant attitude toward extended bfing.(?)

Eskino Tue 26-Mar-13 03:52:26

Haha zebra (I hope!)

I was breastfed til 3 and I don't remember. I breastfed ds1, 2 and 3 til at least 2yo and none of them remember the actual BFing but they are all very warm and tactile boys.

On the other flip side, my lovely DP was not breastfed and he thinks this is the cause of his strained and slightly cool relationship with his mother, (as well as allergies) He's always been very very supportive of BFing.

He rather envies the closeness I and my siblings have with our mum.

His Mum is also quite sad but blames the times. She says that breastfeeding was just "not what women did" in the 70's (same period as I was born into, by the way!).

bobblehead Tue 26-Mar-13 00:42:25

dd is almost 6 and bf until she was 4. She remembers and would still love a feed given half the chance!

Fefifo Tue 26-Mar-13 00:41:26

I remember, was bfed until about 4/5. I can remember just jumping on my mum's lap for a quick feed before going to school. I wouldn't say the memories are either positive or negative at all, kind of neither here nor there like memories of playing with friends at the sandpit at school or stuff like that. Me and my mum are incredibly close though, but think that's due to memories of all round motherly greatness rather than breastfeeding ones in particular though.

thezebrawearspurple Tue 26-Mar-13 00:30:39

I think it would be a horrible memory for a man, every time he'd see a woman's boobs, he'd think of his mother. It would be a total turnoff for him sexually.

Plumsofgold Tue 26-Mar-13 00:21:00

I am 28 and I remember being bf, I remember coming out of pre school and getting on the bus and screaming at my poor mum to give me my diddi.

I cringe now though, I think this is why I didn't want to bf my dd's sad

MummytoKatie Tue 26-Mar-13 00:12:30

I'd say I'm half relieved and half sad she doesn't remember.

Relieved because I was concerned that she would want to start again when the baby is born and I don't really fancy feeding two. (I know lots of people do it but I feel exhausted just thinking about it!)

But sad because it was such a lovely thing the two of us did and it did bond us so well. On the other hand she is still very very snuggely with me so I think she still remembers on some level.

Also sad because it reminds me how ten years from now she probably won't remember any of her day to day life from now. Logically I've always known that but most of the time I ignore it and pretend she'll remember.....

TheSecondComing Mon 25-Mar-13 23:48:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LauraPashley Mon 25-Mar-13 23:48:15

My dd now 5 def remembers being bf, i fef her till approx 3yrs, but then dd2 came along when she was 3.5 (my pregnancy seemed to be the catalyst for her stopping feeding) so there has been constant bf going on really! She completely accepts it as something babies do, like wearing a nappy. Certainly makes no difference that she remembers (in a negative way I mean)

SirBoobAlot Mon 25-Mar-13 23:42:06

My friend's boyfriend breastfed till he was three and a bit, I think. He remembers it. Only know because it came up in conversation when DS weaned himself just before he turned three. It certainly hasn't 'damaged' him in any way, he's a lovely bloke grin Did mean he was one of the few lads our age (I had DS at 18) who didn't get flustered the first time they saw me breastfeeding. So that's an advantage!

DS remembers breastfeeding, and tells me with a smile that the milk ran out because he drank it all. He asked me if I could get it back a few times... hmm

DC1 doesn't remember, she is 6 and I fed her until almost 2.

Still feeding DC2 at 4 years old and DC3 at almost 2. Coincidentally I asked DC2 today how she thinks the milk gets in there and she says it's from the fridge and I put it in there with my pump(!! haven't used it for well over a year and then very rarely, am amazed she remembers it!) so I guess now you all know the secret of breastmilk grin

I do wonder if she will remember when she's older. She's a very, very cuddly child, quite needy at times, but it may well be she remembers the closeness rather than the specifics.

Apileofballyhoo Mon 25-Mar-13 22:20:55

I think my DS remembers, stopped at nearly 4 but it was just night time at that stage. He certainly knows milk comes from breasts for babies and toddlers. He is very cuddly and still does like to sit/snuggle on my lap and bury his head into my chest. Also likes cuddling up at night to fall asleep. Mind you I think most children love snuggling and cuddling!
I mainly stopped because I didn't want him to feel as if he was odd if he told somebody and they didn't react in a positive way. Sometimes I wish I could still offer comfort to him especially when he is ill. He is 5 now btw.

noteventhebestdrummer Mon 25-Mar-13 22:01:00

Asked DS if he remembered and he said 'Ohh it was like chocolate milk! So sweet!'

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