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To think children aren't actually that expensive?

(120 Posts)
NorthernAnnie Mon 25-Mar-13 15:05:54

We have 3 DC, 2 share a room and the other has his own room. We get a lot of clothes & toys from charity shops, or H&M and sell them on ebay when finished with them. They have swimming lessons and do clubs at school. We don't eat out often or buy expensive gadgets/designer clothes, our main spend is food but we still manage to do this relatively cheaply.
I'm a SAHM so this saves on childcare which would be incredibly expensive otherwise, but childcare excluded, AIBU to think DC aren't actually that expensive?

Arisbottle Mon 25-Mar-13 18:11:57

Well your children are costing you a lot, they are costing you 50k.

If I did the same our children would have cost us 50k. Good job I am so much more frugal than you. wink

DontmindifIdo Mon 25-Mar-13 18:14:38

After tax, I'd be earning £2.5k a month if I hadn't had DS. If I hadn't had DS, we'd still be living in a small flat in zone 3 in London, rather than a 3 bed house outside London, so he costs us an extra £500 a month in mortgage compared to the rent we were paying, plus an extra £200 a month on rail cards.

This is before you factor in car seats, food, clothes and groups. While you can pick cheaper options for those they do cost, and would you really have been a housewife if you didn't have DCs? would you really be living in a 3 bed house?

(oh and re hand me downs, that assumes you don't get to a point where they want to wear them, that they are still growing at similar stages so one has outgrown something by the time the next one needs it and they continue to not completely wear out clothes before they are outgrown - from about 14 I only threw out clothes because they were unwearable/unfashionable, not because I didn't fit them, I was then my adult size I stayed until I was about 23)

bigkidsdidit Mon 25-Mar-13 18:14:40

Next year I will be spending at least £1500 on my two. Childcare 4 days pw for two, food, even with cheap clothes etc, having to rent a bigger house...

MajaBiene Mon 25-Mar-13 18:14:45

Chesty, yes I can see that if you don't take any time off work with children, stay in the same job, don't use childcare, don't have to move to a bigger home (we also pay £400 a month more in rent now than pre-DS), don't have to get a car/bigger car, and your heating bill stays the same then children are very cheap.

bigkidsdidit Mon 25-Mar-13 18:15:07

£1500 a month, that is.

Arisbottle Mon 25-Mar-13 18:32:41

Sorry most did not make sense, am on my phone !

I meant to say they are costing a lot as they are costing you a full time wage. In our case that would be just over 50K. Ours cost considerably less than that, we must be very frugal. wink

nokidshere Mon 25-Mar-13 18:48:52

Cheap? How come I never have any money then?

Cheap was when they were under 5. Doable was when they were under 11. Skint is what we are now with two teenagers in the house in adult size clothing and shoes, school trips, sports stuff, 2 lots of secondary school clothing (£600+) and appetites to outstrip their dad! To all intents and purposes we are now a household of 4 adults. Enjoy the relative inexpense while you can!

ChestyLeRoux Mon 25-Mar-13 18:53:08

Yeah all of those things didnt change for me majabiene and they havent changed for most of my friends with children either. I realise they do for some people.

MajaBiene Mon 25-Mar-13 19:04:15

You're very unusual then Chesty - I don't know anyone who hasn't taken months off work, reduced their work hours, changed jobs or used some form of childcare.

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 25-Mar-13 19:26:47

Of course children are expensive, its not just food and second hand clothes. Its childcare or the loss of income and pension if a parent stays home. As they get older, clothes and food bilss rocket. Trips from school and socialising come with a cost. Not to mention uni etc.

If your DH wasnt bringing in an income that covered you not working and the bills its fair to say you would soon realise how expensive children are.

IDoTakeTwo Mon 25-Mar-13 19:37:13

hahahha

clothes
shoes
sport
tutors
clubs
phones
school trips
holidays
bras (ffs cost a fortune)
sanpro (3 dds)
hair cuts
glasses
braces
babysitter

and thats for starters!!!!

infamouspoo Mon 25-Mar-13 19:40:30

children can be either, even teenagers. Mine dont get gadgets, holidays etc. Yeah they do eat lots but you can fill them up cheaply.. some are at university but they get a grant and loan and have to live on it without support/car/fancy things.
The ones still at home still socialise but if they want bus fares/beer they have to go and earn the money. Which they do. Same with clothes.
Yes I'm sure they would like all that stuff (except sports) but it wont kill them to do without. We dont have any money. Thats the real world.

TheCatInTheHairnet Mon 25-Mar-13 19:51:31

Moody the only reason we're buying dc a car is because we live in the US and so they can't walk everywhere. Even the bus service is a drive away. And I don't want to share my car! If we still lived in the UK, with a bus service at the end of the road, I wouldn't be buying them one. It wasn't to make anyone feel bad!

MsVestibule Mon 25-Mar-13 19:53:00

Are you for real??? I'm now a SAHM, but if I hadn't had children, my take home pay would be something like £2k pm, which is a really good salary for where I live. Transport costs to work would be £100pm. I stopped earning about 4 years ago, and had 2 lots of lower paid maternity leave immediately prior to that, so my DCs have cost me, in lost earnings alone:

NINETY THREE THOUSAND POUNDS

Fuck, I need a lie down and a brown paper bag after working that out. Thanks, OP angry.

survivingwinter Mon 25-Mar-13 19:57:45

I assume none of your children have a disability OP? Maybe you have the option to go back to work at some stage but some people have a lot more expense and other factors to take into account which makes having children very expensive...

Sevenmilebeach Mon 25-Mar-13 20:00:30

I must be doing something wrong then lol! My direct costs every month for DD are about £800 - that's after school club, running club, guides, dance classes and school dinners. That doesn't include clothes that she seems to grow out of on a daily basis, kit for dance, running and guides, pocket money etc etc etc.
And at 12 clothes are not cheap - its all hollister, jack wills etc etc - I fondly remember the days of being able to buy her clothes from Markies and Next.

ChestyLeRoux Mon 25-Mar-13 20:08:40

Majabiene - I live in a low income area its pretty common in this type of area for there to be not really much income change as maternity is same as wages, and tcs pay childcare for most people.

Yfronts Mon 25-Mar-13 20:09:39

My kids aren't expensive really. Shoes, clothes, toys etc are mostly second hand and although they do clubs we limit it to a couple each. We tend to utilise the library a lot for films, music, books etc.

They do eat quite a good amount though but it's mostly cooked from scratch and we don't bother with extras like crisps, biscuits, bars etc.

School is also expensive. Not the uniform (all from the second hand box in school) but the class trips, residentials and PTA fund raisers.

But it's housing I find trickiest. We would be completely mortgage free now if we were also child free and only requiring a two bed property. Instead we have lots of kids and own half our largish house.

I worry about my children managing the cost of getting a degree, getting married and buying a house. It seems to have gone crazy!

MajaBiene Mon 25-Mar-13 20:21:15

Tax credits don't pay more than 70% of childcare Chesty, and maternity pay is about £100 a week less than a minimum wage job.

ChestyLeRoux Mon 25-Mar-13 20:23:10

The childcare element is 70% but you also get the other element so its usually the full amount for most people I know.

Glittertwins Mon 25-Mar-13 20:23:54

Ah yes Sandy and wordfactory. Ours are just 5...no hand me downs for B/G twins either. We are dreading the school trip money pits.

trixymalixy Mon 25-Mar-13 20:27:57

I can't bring myself to add up the loss of earnings on 2x maternity leave, working part time and the amount we have spent on childcare. Although we are extremely lucky that my parents do 2 days of childcare a week for us so not as bad as it could be!!

BellaVita Mon 25-Mar-13 20:28:06

OP wait till yours are teens, you may just change your mind then.

jjuice Mon 25-Mar-13 21:04:54

My Dd (15) has eaten huge adult portions for the last 4 years. But she does burn it all off as she is netball mad, which leads me to the expense of her sport - subs, training fees, umpire fees, away tournaments, trainers (£90 every 3-4 fecking months), tracksuits, skorts, tops, kits 4 club colours ankle brace (£60 a pair) skins for training in(£60) kits bags etc etc
then we move on to clothes ha ha ha ha fucking ha 38" inside leg, 6'6" arm span ...I challenge you to do it on the cheap.

When I split with Ex I was amazed at how cheaply we could eat me and dd and ds little did I know what was coming.

Enjoy it while you can envy

IfNotNowThenWhen Mon 25-Mar-13 21:12:41

Well, it's more expensive than not having any. But. If ds "won't wear H and M" when he is a teen, he can bloody well get a job, like what I did aged 14.
Harumph.
<Goes off to mutter about over entitled spoilt youth of today>

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