To have gone into my room and cried before I killed the aupair

(149 Posts)
Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:33:31

I've had the worst weekend in a long time !
DD1 has ASD and ADHD she has a strict list of no no's as in what she can and can't eat, the smallest thing on the donts list and she's the devils spawn !!
So I get in from work Friday and I can see just by looking at her she's had something, so I asked the aupair what she's had and "nothing" was the reply, so I asked DD and she said sweets after school !! Arghhh the aupair has been told time and time again about this, there's even a list stuck to the fridge of things to avoid and if we do she's fine.
So we've had the weekend from hell because of this.
I'm still moaning stick with me !
Then DD2 who is 10 months is crying for a drink so I get her sippy cup and go to give it a wash and find MOULD inside it, all in the bottom and all in the lid !! Apparently the aupair didn't realise it was mould !! WTF !! She could have harmed poor DD2 ! I was horrified !
I try not to get cross with the aupair she's 26 so not a kid she just seems to have ZERO common sense ! She's leaving in a few weeks thank goodness but my DH is ok nights, I'm 8 weeks pregnant, work full time and I'm shattered, so I've shut myself in my room for an angry cry.
Feel much better now grin

stressyBessy22 Sun 24-Mar-13 22:14:30

you've got an Aupair looking after a child of 10 months and one with special needs. Your attitude stinks

^ this^

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 24-Mar-13 22:14:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 24-Mar-13 22:15:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wrongsideoftheroad Sun 24-Mar-13 22:16:06

leaving the thread now, op i think you just needed to vent and thats ok.

im not hanging around to watch people savage a tired, pregnant woman who has had to deal with her asd/adhds problems being exacerbated by carelessness.

good luck op

SW1XMother Sun 24-Mar-13 22:16:14

Do you know that your aupair gae her the sweets?

HoliHoliHoliday Sun 24-Mar-13 22:16:31

Agree with really tired et al.
Also who looks after the baby? Your au pair isn't allowed to work 7 days a week and she can't be doing all the washing up, so not all her fault.

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 22:16:46

DH doesn't work nights all the time he works shifts, as do I ! We fit it around each other so one of us is always here !! We just figured an aupair would be an extra pair of hands if needed !
Ill tell you what ! Ill think twice before ranting on here again ! A few years ago this site was welcoming, now it's gone down hill your all so nasty !

idshagphilspencer Sun 24-Mar-13 22:17:07

mumsnet at its worst
((hides thread))

AmberLeaf Sun 24-Mar-13 22:17:28

Adhd isn't caused by sweets/additives either.

Cutting sweets out won't cure adhd anymore than it would asd.

MissAnnersley Sun 24-Mar-13 22:17:40

I au paired for a while when I was much younger.

No way would I have given the DC anything the mum had forbidden.

Don't really think the mould in the cup is her fault though.

HollyBerryBush Sun 24-Mar-13 22:17:53

This a brilliant MN thread.

If the Op had come on complaining about being tired, FT work and so forth, she would be advised to get a cleaner, au pair, send out the clothes to be ironed, get a doula, use a baby sitting agency and employ a gardener.

But if you actually do any of those things, it's like a Downton Abbey reversal and everyone gets all Upstairs Downstairs about things and 'domestic staff'.

OP, if you are old enough to remember the Brittas empire, I suggest you do as poor Carol with no childcare did, keep them in a cupboard behind her desk grin

Mumsyblouse Sun 24-Mar-13 22:18:01

Is doing the washing up and doing the school run not normal tasks for an au pair then? What should they be doing? (given they can't look after the children for long periods on their own)

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Mar-13 22:18:02

as an alternative, hire qualified "help" seriously, i am stunned that you can leave a child with SN with an au pair, one who you don't think particularly highly of too.

I have no problem with folk "outsourcing" childcare, in fact I think nannies are a great solution, especially if more than one child. Au pairs too if children not too young and no SN. The OPs attitude seems to be that this poor woman is lucky to have house space for her "holiday" but moans that she hasn't done the skivvying washing up properly. A qualified nanny, i presume would know not to give a child with ADHD sweets. Is there a language barrier?

MissAnnersley Sun 24-Mar-13 22:20:02

I also washed up and did the school run.

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 22:21:26

Seeing a my child has this I know it doesn't cure it.
As I said before. We worked for 3 years on what food triggered her outbursts and have it down to a fine art.
If she avoids the things that trigger her she's perfectly fine.
Aspartame for one sends her through the roof !!

BonaDrag Sun 24-Mar-13 22:21:29

Stop rounding on the OP you sad, nasty bullies.

wrongsideoftheroad Sun 24-Mar-13 22:22:20

where do you keep getting 'caused' from amberleaf? no one is talking about the cause of these disorders - they are talking about foods which can exacerbate symptoms

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 24-Mar-13 22:22:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wrongsideoftheroad Sun 24-Mar-13 22:23:11

what bonadrag said.

I think some posters are being really unfair to the OP with regard to the SN. It doesn't sound like the OP is asking the au pair to do anything particularly difficult - JUST DON'T GIVE HER DD SWEETS! I think a 26 year old woman should be able to follow that quite easily.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 24-Mar-13 22:24:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissAnnersley Sun 24-Mar-13 22:25:03

I agree haventgotaclue.

Some really horrible posts.

Having been an au pair I dont think the OP is asking too much.

MsVestibule Sun 24-Mar-13 22:25:11

So, if one of you is always there to look after your DD (and presumably feed and water her), why is it your au pair's job to wash her plates and cups? I'm honestly not trying to be nasty, I just genuinely don't understand how this dirty cup is solely your au pair's fault confused.

There might be loads of other examples (apart from the sweets incident) of where she has been lazy and useless but I don't think the Mouldy Sippy Cup is a particularly fair one.

ApocalypseThen Sun 24-Mar-13 22:25:47

Yes, she should. She probably could, too. But I'd imagine being unqualified means she doesn't really understand, and I also suspect how intensely the OP dislikes and resents her, and she's probably getting revenge.

fluffyraggies Sun 24-Mar-13 22:27:01

I hardly think the OP has been savaged hmm

Only one poster has said 'look after your own children'.

There's nothing wrong with having 'staff', but i just hate hearing people moaning about them here for some reason.

My reaction is an honest one - just get yourself a new cleaner/au pair/nanny/ if this one isn't right. Don't whinge about them. Lots of folk are struggling, lots of folk are without paid help.

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