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To have gone into my room and cried before I killed the aupair

(149 Posts)
Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:33:31

I've had the worst weekend in a long time !
DD1 has ASD and ADHD she has a strict list of no no's as in what she can and can't eat, the smallest thing on the donts list and she's the devils spawn !!
So I get in from work Friday and I can see just by looking at her she's had something, so I asked the aupair what she's had and "nothing" was the reply, so I asked DD and she said sweets after school !! Arghhh the aupair has been told time and time again about this, there's even a list stuck to the fridge of things to avoid and if we do she's fine.
So we've had the weekend from hell because of this.
I'm still moaning stick with me !
Then DD2 who is 10 months is crying for a drink so I get her sippy cup and go to give it a wash and find MOULD inside it, all in the bottom and all in the lid !! Apparently the aupair didn't realise it was mould !! WTF !! She could have harmed poor DD2 ! I was horrified !
I try not to get cross with the aupair she's 26 so not a kid she just seems to have ZERO common sense ! She's leaving in a few weeks thank goodness but my DH is ok nights, I'm 8 weeks pregnant, work full time and I'm shattered, so I've shut myself in my room for an angry cry.
Feel much better now grin

Rosa Sun 24-Mar-13 21:36:41

I would get cross..... Sorry but for your dd it affects her badly she should do as she is told....

Coconutty Sun 24-Mar-13 21:36:51

Ahh, sounds like a PITA weekend, glad you feel better after a cry. Make sure she knows that your DD can't have sweets under any circumstances.

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:39:24

I'm sick of telling her ! It's just not just sweets its all sorts but we don't have it in the house and I think we are lucky in the UK that things are labelled so well. She just doesn't seem to get it !! I'm so glad she's going home !! Lol she just thinks I'm being a mean mum !! She told me so too shock

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 24-Mar-13 21:42:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaynettaSlobsLover Sun 24-Mar-13 21:42:37

Is your au pair stupid, ignorant, rebellious or both?

I'm at a loss tbh. I would have her out on her ear because of the total laziness and lack if respect for you as her employer to follow the rules of the house and look after your kids. You must be exhausted thanks hugs to you and I hope you have a form word with her. I would be ashamed to be 26 and have that attitude.

Coconutty Sun 24-Mar-13 21:44:03

Take no notice, she's leaving soon and it doesn't matter what she thinks about you not letting her have sweets.

Get a good nights sleep, things always seem better in the morning.

ReallyTired Sun 24-Mar-13 21:45:03

An Au pair is not a trained childcare professional and should not have sole responsiblity of a child with special needs or a ten month old baby. It sounds like you need to employ a PROPER QUALIFIED nanny rather than a clueless cheap girl from abroad on £70 a week.

MsVestibule Sun 24-Mar-13 21:45:46

Sweets, no, YANBU. But as for the mould - surely it's not the au pair's job to wash up every dish, every time? Mould takes a while to build up, so that cup's been left unwashed for quite a while. Don't you and your DH ever wash up?

cantspel Sun 24-Mar-13 21:46:29

You are using cheap care for your children yet expecting high standards. The two rarely go hand in hand.

HollyBerryBush Sun 24-Mar-13 21:46:30

Judging by the mugs the science teachers at work use, mould will not harm anyone, I would not put it to the test though!

trustissues75 Sun 24-Mar-13 21:47:27

I'm with reallytired....

blackeyedsusan Sun 24-Mar-13 21:47:45

have you seen what some asd children can do when they are "the devils spawn" lisad? limited impulse control and unawareness of danger may just kill them. <shudder>

hwjm1945 Sun 24-Mar-13 21:47:59

Agree with really tired.if u are leaving
Her with ten month old.you ought not to.she sounds as though not up to job of looking after ten m old.

pansyflimflam Sun 24-Mar-13 21:49:00

I have to agree with ReallyTired. Peanuts=Monkeys

justmyview Sun 24-Mar-13 21:49:42

I'm also wondering about the sippy cup. Is the au pair the only person who uses it? How come mould hasn't been spotted previously?

Also I'm working with a client whose son has ASD and ADHD and I've never heard of a "no sweets rule". What's the problem with sweets (other than the obvious, tooth decay etc)?

MajaBiene Sun 24-Mar-13 21:50:41

You are getting cheap, untrained childcare and expecting her to care for a child with additional needs and a small baby? I think you have to accept she is a babysitter who helps out, nothing more.

WorraLiberty Sun 24-Mar-13 21:51:10

I thought aupairs weren't supposed to have sole charge of kids under the age of 2 because they have no formal childcare training?

Or have I dreamt that?

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:51:41

I figured I'd be up for a flaming from someone !
1. She is never in complete care of the kids (I'm not that stupid)
2. My Dd is fine unless she eats or drinks something with certain ingredients in.
3. We do wash up, but seeing as she is paid to do it, and gives dd her meals during the week you would figure she would have washed it not just filled it back up like she told me she has been doing !

She does have a bad attitude and is very very lazy, she's told me herself she gets paid a lot more and does a lot less than any of her aupair friends !
We've learnt our lesson anyway !
I'd rather pay triple for proper help.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Mar-13 21:53:04

What really tired said

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:53:29

It's not just sweets its certain ingredients, it took us 3 years to get it under control, the doctors couldn't believe the change once we had rules a lot of things out

NaturalBaby Sun 24-Mar-13 21:53:34

Good job it wasn't a serious allergy - where did the au pair/your dd get sweets from?
Au pairs are not recommended for 0-3's are they?

8 weeks pregnant with dc3 and working is more than enough to deal with, have you had chocolate yet?!

MajaBiene Sun 24-Mar-13 21:55:14

If the au pair is never in sole charge then how did she sneak your DD sweets?

You must have not washed up the cup for a long time for it to get mouldy - don't think you can just blame her.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 24-Mar-13 21:55:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddening Sun 24-Mar-13 21:55:49

The mould must have been there a while - assuming the au pair is not the only one in charge of all the household chores either yourself or your dh must have been involved in cleaning the sippy cup in the time required to grow mould.

I think you need more qualified childcare

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