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To still feed my 5.5 year old child?

(114 Posts)
Cannierelax Sun 24-Mar-13 20:30:55

He is a horrendous eater. Today I made him chicken pasta and he ate 3 bites of pasta and 2 pieces of chicken in 25 minutes. If I don't feed him he will not eat a varied diet but will get hungry and demand cookies. Aibu to continue feeding him do he will at least eat a few bites of healthy food?

Glad you had a better morning smile

Cat98 Mon 25-Mar-13 14:36:38

I'm glad it went better this morning, hang in there! As someone wise once said to me - 'it's your job to provide a healthy balanced diet for your child, but it's up to them to eat it'!

Sounds better. When I worked at SS some parts of this are changed because of confidentiality I worked with a family where this was happening to an extreme degree. DF standing over the DS stressing about eating. Making him eat. It was a Mediterranean family so food IS LOVE and can't be refused. It turned into total food refusal. He was hiding food, throwing up...

With the dietitian it was agreed that the family would eat buffet style and DS could just pick what he wanted or not, no pressure. Slow steps but it helped.

Could you get some counselling about how you see food and eating?

Cannierelax Mon 25-Mar-13 17:47:15

Well, nothing short of a miracle happened at tea time. I made him the same food as we have. ( normally I wouldn't do this) He immediately starting jumping up and down, I don't want it.... Blah blah. Then I said that it's okay, as long as you try a tiny bit then that's okay and you will get a treat. But i made it clear that he didn't have to have it if he didn't want to. Well he only just went and scoffed the lot and asked for seconds. Me and DH were completely gobsmacked!!
The main changes I made was that I wasn't feeding him, we were at the table, I made it clear he didn't have to eat and there was no shouting / moaning on my part. DS ended with " mummy that was lovely, plz make it 100 times in the Easter holidays". ??

Cannierelax Mon 25-Mar-13 17:50:41

However I believe this is just the beginning and I will need to be consistently relaxed at meal times.

Excellent news!

Don't always offer a treat though - they should be saved for consistently 'good behaviour', like if you eat well all week we can go to MacDonalds.

Lueji Mon 25-Mar-13 19:28:24

Coming late, but just to say well done. smile

There will be times when he genuinely won't like the food, though. Remember to relax then.

One tip is also to pretend the food is not for them and they are not allowed it. It often works when DS claims he doesn't want fruit. I put mine near him, as if I'm distracted, and he'll often "steal" it all.

Or if DS claims he's full, but hasn't eaten much, I tell him it's ok if he eats a number of mouthfuls. Usually up to 5.

mamandeouisti Mon 25-Mar-13 20:02:47

Blimey, well done Cannie!

Fairenuff Mon 25-Mar-13 20:10:36

That's great. Just keep being casual about it and if he does refuse to eat just follow all the advice. If you feel yourself getting anxious come away from him and re-read the thread.

Hopefully this is just the start and he will eat normally but remember children often go through phases and suddenly don't like something they've enjoyed before. That's all normal.

mrsjay Mon 25-Mar-13 20:41:03

However I believe this is just the beginning and I will need to be consistently relaxed at meal times.

yip you see the difference already in him if you are going to be pushed for time say at lunchtime give him something easy to eat so you dont stress smile

2rebecca Mon 25-Mar-13 21:33:59

Excellent, I think kids eating the same as their parents where possible is a good thing as they see their parents enjoying it. I also think it's a myth that kids like bland food. I didn't give mine hot curries when young but they happily ate mild ones and chinese food, garlic bread etc.

CandyCrushed Mon 25-Mar-13 21:44:21

My middle DS was a very slow eater although not that fussy. He would take ages to eat anything the least bit chewy and i used to get frustrated with him. When he was about seven the dentist asked if he had trouble eating as his back teeth didn't align properly confused. Cue smug 7 year old and apologetic Mum. blush (also cue years of braces sad )

Also,
My brother ate all food extremely slowly for the whole of his childhood until he chocked on a piece of meat when he was a teen. He ended up having an operation to 'expand' his unusually narrow throat. shock

scottishmummy Mon 25-Mar-13 21:49:36

Chuffed for you both,keep up good work
You must feel v good what a difference 24hr make
Hang on in there for the ups and downs

Cannierelax Mon 25-Mar-13 23:20:07

Couldn't have done it without all the support from fellow MN's!
Tomorrow is a new day, let's see how it pans out. Someone on this thread asked how I would feel to be forced to eat something I didn't want to. That really hit home for me. I am quite fussy at times and remember vomiting when being forced to eat eggy bread when I was younger! Something which I still can't eat. I caused these issues for DS albeit unintentionally now it's up to me to work bloody hard at undoing this situation.

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