to be sick and tired of the older generation..(73 Posts)
Not really that sweeping, but specifically gps/parents of adult children who talk crap about how wonderful they were at parenting and how the current generation is failing. Recent examples:
-'my grandson is afraid of dogs, I would never have allowed that. All my children liked animals'
-'my gcs are five and can't swim, my dil just doesn't do much with them'
-'I saw a child watching a cartoon on an iPad while the parents chatted and ate dinner in the restaurant, it's lazy parenting, I bet the parents were really pleased when iPads were invented as it meant they could ignore their children'
Perhaps it's just my parents/pil and other gps I know who do this, I can't believe they were all perfect parents though, much as they think they were and throw stones now...
I don't think "older generation" is worse for handing out advice than anyone else, TBH.
However, as this seems like a good place to moan about parents generally....my Dad claims that we "were not allowed to be fussy"(with food) and had to eat it or starve. Then later will tell me what a dreadfully fussy child I was, refusing to eat tripe and the like.
My DD and her DH are both very placid people and I find it very amusing when she chastises Miss 5 for "rolling her eyes"
When I told my best friend this she said "But DD used to do that all the time"
Bump My DM tells every one wht wonderful eaters we were and would eat anything on our plate.
No, no, no, When DM wasn't looking we would slide what we didn't like onto someone elses plate.
The oats also went in the bin while DM was racing around doing something else.
The thing is, you younger mothers will find that future research will prove that everything you did was wrong too. It's the way things are.
And your daughters-in-law will roll their eyes - if you're lucky.
Me? I'm old, but my memory works just fine. I remember sitting nursing my first baby, dreading the arrival of my mother because the moment she walked through the door it would be "You feeding that baby again? Do you never put him down?"
When I became a granny, I knew I'd never be like that - my grandson's upbringing is his parents' responsibility; when I feel an attack of judgey-pants coming on, I phone a friend and we laugh it off, remembering how desperate we were too, to do everything right (according to the standards of the day).
I laugh a lot of things off these days; it's always best not to take oneself too seriously. In the end, as a mother I did my best, my old Ma probably did her best - in her eyes - and my children will do their best. And we will all have done it differently.
BabyBoomer Oh, I know it is just the natural cycle of things. In time babyled weaning, attachment parenting or whatever the current 'in' thing is will be out of fashion again and we'll all be rolling our eyes at our DILs who are doing it all
wrong the modern way!
I am a grandmother of five and am guilty of saying alot of these things.I try and keep my mouth shut but sometimes find it hard.
I was horrified when my grandson was brought home from hospital at two days old wearing a little denim suit-babies should be in proper baby clothes said I.Of course I was ignored.All of my grandchildren had dummies, I made my opinion known about them, then remembered that my DS2 could scream for England and I gave him a dummy to get peace and quiet.
I remember when my children were small and the remarks made to me by my DM and MIL. My mother had all of her children potty trained by 12 months, she nagged me because mine were 18 months and still in nappies.I can remember her ''holding out'' my youngest sister on a tiny potty at a few weeks old-honest.My MIL had her children eating mince and mashed potato at 3 months, I was constantly told this when she saw me feeding mine with strained baby food at 6 months. Even my father chipped in with his bit, he was fed on coffee in a bottle when a baby.My grandmother was fond of feeding babies what she called boily which was bits of bread soaked in boiled milk.Another of my mother's gems was to put a drop of whiskey in the baby's bottle last thing at night, we all had it and slept all night.
All generations tend to go against the modern way of baby care,I think it is we all consider ourselves to be perfect mothers and cant help interfering with the methods our own children use when they become parents.
Quite, LehmanSisters. But I think that as long as we have the humour and insight to accept that, the generations will get along just fine!
My mother's problem was that she was pretty insecure about her own parenting methods (ha! rightly so, says me!) and saw my choices as criticism of hers.
It was the previous generation which passed the Health and Safety At Work Act 1974 and are therefore responsible for much of the elf and safety based nonsense that has done so much harm to society since then. nuff said.
My Grandma used to give me a small eggcupful of whisky ('for her gums') when she babysat for me. (None of this mealy mouthed drop in a bottle stuff!) For years, my poor parents could never work out how she managed to get me to sleep so much easier than they could. They thought they were inadequate parents.
I hate " We just got on with it." Such bullshit.
Yeah the H&S act is so rubbish, depriving all those people the chance to be killed or seriously injured
My mother never criticised anything I did with my ds's. I'm sure she often thought it, but never voiced it. In the same way I never say anything to my dsd when I don't agree with her "methods" because it is up to her how she does it and they will all grow up just fine!
My mother never criticised me, but would just give "the look" which was exactly like
I haven't experienced it yet as my PFB is still minus 5 months old but I have noticed it on Mumsnet - usually when people discuss BLW or purée feeding, lots of people pipe up with "it was just feeding your baby in my day, we didn't need books to tell us how to do it"
My mother used to talk about rubbing whiskey on the gums of a teething baby to ease the pain!.She aso had a cousin who was revived with brandy when she was born not breathing.
I'm a gran. I don't have a bloody clue how to look after a baby. God knows how my dds survived.
My mil does this all the time, when she told me a few years back she used to put her eldest in the garage when she cooked dinner.
Whilst telling me how I should be doing my own ironing/paying them more attention..
think your talking b ........ waterfalls, as a gm myself as afre many friends of mine I have never heard any of then being critical of their ds or dds.
I klnow absolutely that my own dd i a better mother than I was and I think this is because she is more mature comin to motherhood in her thirties whereas I was just 20 and kn ew nothing. Alas there was no supernanny in those days.
Jolly I think you must just have a nice set of friends then, if you have never heard them speak badly of their offspring or their partners and their parenting techniques.
My own personal experience, and that of my friends, is that the grandparents tend to be all too forthcoming with their opinions on what parenting takes place.
i am going to get slaughtered for this
i love this website - BUT - all the abbreviations DH, DIL etc do my head in!
There are many people on here who moan about laziness - how about we write Husband, Daughter in Law - Son - Daughter etc etc etc
I am 45 and I cannot be bothered with this DH etc - in my mind - it is wrong!
all the best
Will dredge this thread up in 30 years and laugh.
My mum thinks her grandchildren are amazing. Much cleverer than her own children. She also lets them get away with absolute murder.
The other day she was telling me how odd it is that she used to be able to get a class of 30 11 year olds to behave themselves with just a look (ex primary teacher and she was shit hot at discipline) but her grandchildren just laugh at her if she tells them off. She is so soft with them though! It drives my brother and I mad because we remember what she was like with us and it's just not faiiiiir <stamps foot>.
But - she never criticises our parenting. I love my mum
So this seems to be the perfect thread to ask about my own dm's cure-all - cooled boiled water off a spoon.
Me: DS cries a lot, I think it's colic
DM: give him cooled boiled water off a spoon.
Me: DS is teething
DM: give him cooled boiled water off a spoon
Me: DS won't settle
DM: ach, you get the picture. So wtf is it with the cooled boiled water off the spoon? And why is the spoon the important bit???
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