AIBU to think/call my OH a useless git

[Regbooboo]

Just start by saying that my OH is a good man and is very kind to me but he insists on trying to mend things around the house AND always balls it up.

Flat pack IKEA furniture is always scratched (he just goes at it like a bull in a china shop), he always needs to drill about six holes when would suffice (never measures correctly and leaves me to do the filling and decorating afterwards), took two days to paint a very small en suite and in the process stood on the toilet seat and broke it and spilt half a can of gloss paint on the carpet (both items needed replacing) and has now managed to fuck up my lampshade which cost me £70. It is a suspended light and rather than messing around in the fitting to get the wires straight he has cut them and joined them with wire which really shows - and the light is also now flicking FUCK!! I muttered he was a useless git under my breath (which he heard) and he is now being sulky saying he tried his best! Just leave things the fuck alone if you haven't got a clue. I AM ANGRY!

[SheepNoisesOff]

That would really f* me off too.

It's not U to think it but saying it like that is a bit U because it's not productive. I think you'd be better off sitting him down and telling him how much his haste annoys and upsets you, plus costing heaps of money.

(My DH broke the loo seat this week just sitting on it He is a normal weight so not sure what that's all about!)

[Rhubarbgarden]

Yanbu to be angry. But you need to have a grown up conversation about it rather than cursing him under your breath. He has every right to be upset by that.

My dh is equally useless. We have long since agreed that it is actually cheaper to get someone in to do the job right in the first place.

[Rhubarbgarden]

I have to say, it doesn't sound from your op like you respect him very much. I mean, he's kind to you? That's a bit of an odd thing to say about a partner.

[aldiwhore]

YANBU... but you need to get in before him and DIY I think, it's a problem of tactics because he is not ever going to change.

Don't give him the opportunity.

[aldiwhore]

My DH is kind to me, what's the problem? I guess actually we're kind to each if we're going to hair split.

[aldiwhore]

Other than that Rhubarb I agree with you (another one here who HAS to say stuff!)

[Hassled]

I'm guessing the anger is fuelled by him insisting that he's perfectly competent and can do it really - he needs to be able to admit that he's shit at DIY (and you can probably get there if you list the things he's not shit at).

I've effectively banned DH from DIY - not because he's shit, but because he's very very slow. It took him 18 months to tile the floor of our small kitchen. That sort of slow. Now we pay people to do stuff, and if we can't afford it then we don't do it. That explains why the house is falling down around us - so I'm not sure what my point is

[Contradictionincarnate]

my dh is exactly the same no attention to detail ...he hates DIY and just wants to get it over and done with ... he never notices the small things ...I have learnt to live with it as apart from that he is pretty near perfect...and op your dh is probably the same he doesn't really care or notice scratches on the furniture holes in the wall etc. Nothing you will do will change this ... yanbu to be angry but it will get you no where so let it go and get someone in! ... fortunately my someone is my dad!

[ChairmanWow]

Seriously, just tell him. I went through this with DH a few years ago. He just wouldn't accept his (considerable) limitations. In the end he shorted all the lights downstairs by trying to fit a new ceiling rose, insisted on trying to sort it himself and we were in darkness for a bastard week (it was summer so not the end of the world). In the end he admitted defeat, called an electrician and we had a big chat about it. I explained that apart from decorating I'm pretty useless too, massaged his ego by telling him what an all round great guy he is etc etc. Bit tense but it paid off.

We've just moved into a house which needs a lot of work and are relying on professionals for all the technical stuff. It's such a relief.

[ohforfoxsake]

Do it yourself OP.

It'll be quicker, done when you want and will involve less swearing.

I'll never understand why women leave this stuff to the menfolk.

[ChairmanWow]

I'm assuming it's stuff she can't do herself. Correct me if I'm wrong OP. if I am then he needs to our aside his ego and let you do it properly. If not it's much harder to persuade because it involves paying out for people.

Either way he needs to be told. He's creating extra work, expense and stress.