To Send DD on a School Trip

(187 Posts)
SooticaTheWitchesCat Wed 20-Mar-13 10:59:24

...even though my husband is refusing to let her go?

Our DD is nearly 9 and this year they are having a school residential trip for 2 nights to an activity centre. DD really wants to go as all her friends are going and I think it would be great for her too.

DH on the other hand says there is no way she is allowed to go, that she is just a baby and that she can't be away from us overnight.

I think he is being totally unreasonable, she isn't a baby and if she doesn't go not only will she miss out on a great experience but she will feel left out because all her friends are going.

We have argued and argued about it he wont budge in but I am now thinking of just paying the deposit and saying she can go anyway in the hope I can convince him later.

Would that be wrong? I know it will cause more arguments but she has been so upset at the thought of not being able to go.

idshagphilspencer Sun 24-Mar-13 15:35:28

well said cory

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 25-Mar-13 12:01:02

"I live in a country that is not my 'home' country (so, similar to your DH) and I will not let my DC go on residential school trips during the primary years as in my adopted country, adults' attitudes to children are so much at odds with mine, I would be very worried.

I accept to send my children to school here, to follow the rules, to slot in with what most parents here do. But I won't let other people take her on a residential trip as that is too far out of my comfort zone. I already make a Herculean effort to fit it here.

What's culturally acceptable in one place is not necessarily acceptable elsewhere.

Maybe your husband feels the same. "

Greythorne, that really is how he sees it, he isn't just purely being difficult, it is just really beyond his understanding why we in England would want to let our children go away without us as that isn't what he has ever come accross before.

"How can you even stay married to someone with these kind of values?? <baffled> "

Really Numberlock, as you have no idea about my marriage apart from this one thing that we are in disagreement about I don't think your comment is of any help at all!

Anyway, the deposit is now paid.

edwardsmum11 Mon 25-Mar-13 12:03:03

Yanbu, he sounds like a dinkus.

LaQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 13:32:47

"Hulababy I was bemoaning the fact that posters always start accusing each other of being terrible parents when it becomes apparent that their parenting styles are different."

Gold I'm not necessarily saying that suffocating, self centered parents are terrible, there are certainly worse traits they could display...however, they are still selfish and suffocating towards their children - and, they are putting their own selfish, spurious needs to feel in control and safe before the feelings of their child.

And, I will always judge that type of parent, and find them wanting.

LaQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 13:38:15

"she has a baby whom she loves too much to leave... "

B4bunnies sorry, but that's a crock of shit.

It is precisely because I do love my DDs so much, that I want them to feel that (within reason) the world is a great place for them to explore...and I wanted them to grow up spending time with family and friends, so they could learn and benefit from other's experiences/attitudes...and I wanted them to forge close bonds with family and friends, so that way they would have even more people to like and love them...

RaisingGirls Mon 25-Mar-13 13:43:28

I missed a school trip when I was in Year 5/6 (can't remember exactly which) because my parents couldn't afford to send me. I was the only one who didn't go. It didn't scar me for life, BUT I had been on Brownie Pack Holiday before, so I had stayed away from home.

I hope you and your DH can resolve this and that when your DD comes home brimming with excitement and wonderful tales of her trip, DH will see it was worth the worry. smile

CandidaDoyle Mon 25-Mar-13 13:45:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamityKate Mon 25-Mar-13 13:51:29

Totally agree with LaQueen.

Statements like that really annoy me.

Similarly "The house is a shithole because I'm far too busy interacting with my children to do housework" and other such "I'll turn a negative into a positive if it kills me" statements.

LaQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 13:54:18

Cal I call it Making a smug sounding virtue, out of what is actually a sad reality/necessity.

CalamityKate Mon 25-Mar-13 13:56:49

Oh yes that's far better!

LaQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 19:44:46

Cal you see it an awful lot IRL, and an awful lot on MN, too. Very transparent.

Yfronts Mon 25-Mar-13 20:51:31

what exactly is he worried about?

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