or is it actually impossible to keep a tidy house(131 Posts)
and get food on the table and do anything fucking at all if you a 1 and a 2 year old child? I wanted to stay home with I love them but if I were at work my house would be clean right? it's fucking pig style, by the dh gets home and we get them to bed and do the dishes there's no time to do anything else. then we just go to bed.
My problem is that I have to factor in three days a week when I'm at work and dd is cared for in the house by dh who isn't as organised as me although he does try.
So on my days off not only am I on my own with dcs but I'm catching up on what hasn't been done the other days.
<has sudden realisation as to why its so hard>
Freak your friend was right. It's about being organised enough to just crack on with the routine. All routines take a bit of getting used to, but once you're established, you can rock on and get things done.
I have to admit that if I lived in a messy house, I find that my thinking pattern gets disrupted, which makes me very uncomfortable and unnerved, so in order to think clearly I have to have a tidy house.
When I go to my friend's house for a cuppa, I get uneasy and fidgety as her house is a tip (says the same thing herself), but luckily she ignores my fidgeting etc as she knows it's my problem . I have told her to ignore me when I get like that.
Can I just say two words...Drunk Cleaning
Really I love my Friday and saterday evenings I make a you tube playlist, few large vodka and cokes (wine makes me sleepy so doesn't work for me for this) and I dance around cleaning getting tipsy finding more jobs to do because I don't want to sit down.
Works well with ironing to, you don't even notice the time going after your first large drink and old favourite songs.
Sorry that should have said: at the time I thought she was a fucking bitch but actually she was right
It's definitely a continual thing though, you do have to stay on top of it and whoever said while you do one job the children create another was right. I was lucky with ds once he got to 2.5 or so as he became obsessed with dora so I'd put on an episode of that while I whizzed around doing my 20 mins in the morning. With dd there'd be colouring pens and bits of paper and polly pockets everywhere.
My routine was very similar to Freak's - and the trick is to keep it up. It's hard work, but the more you do it, the better you get at it, and the quicker you get.
Plus, I was ruthless about not hoarding stuff, and routinely de-cluttered every few weeks. I've always hated that feeling of not knowing where to put stuff, or having to move stuff from one place to the next before being able to sit at the dinner table/cook a meal.
I regular donated clothes/toys/stuff to friends/the charity shop. And, every few weeks I'd send the DDs off to the in-laws with DH, and I'd spend a whole day giving the house a good, deep clean.
It just depends on what is important to you. I wanted a nice, tidy, fresh house so it was up to me to make that happen. I became very organised about it all, and found I still had time to meet friends for coffee, or take the DDs out. It was just that when I was at home, behind the scenes, I was busy
Btw when I had a screaming baby and a toddler none of that happened and my house was a total pit
I remember complaining to my friend that it was impossible to have a tidy house and she said "or maybe you just need to organise yourself better". At thevtime
When I was a sahm my morning routine was
All up, dressed, breakfast
Load of washing on
Washing up& sides wiped
Quick tidy of bedrooms
Quick wipe of bathroom sink and loo
Hoover downstairs - all of this in 20 mins or so (after the getting dressed and breakfast one)
Another job eg clean bathroom/dust/hoover upstairs/clean windows/ wipe marks off walls
Then tidy up toys as we went
Hang up the washing once it was done then iron and put away as soon as dry (either that eve if hung out or the next day in wet weather) - I didnt always keep up on this one I must admit.
In the eve washing up done as soon as dinner eaten, sides wiped again, floor hoovered again. Again less than 20 mins.
Then sit down for the eve in a mostly clean and tidy house. It was never immaculate as there were always bigger jobs that needed doing but it was ok on the surface.
Once I was at the stage of following this routine I didn't feel as though I was doing loads of housework but it did take a while to get into the routine and a few massive decluttering and cleaning sessions beforehand.
I think everyone sharing a bathroom, is really tricky to manage.
We're toying with the idea of moving house, and one of my criteria is that the DDs will each have their own shower-room. My friend has teenage girls, and she says that her DDs not having to share a bathroom with each other (or my friend) has been an absolutelty godsend.
mrsrobertduvall Your teens have their own bathroom Serious bathroom envy going on here now....
I am of the opinion that, as much as the mess irritates at times and I think, really, at the age my lot are at, its not on, is it? I have got nothing really to complain about as, if all I have got to complain about is the fact the house is a tip then I have got good kids. At the age mine are at, it could be a lot worse. I will take a sh*t heap for a bathroom and the kitchen looking as if shoes and coats exploded all over the floor by the door and dishes piled up in the sink and crumbs left for any ant invasion to be a resounding success - for as long as they carry on being polite to others, nice to me, funny and working hard at college. You read all about late teenagers drinking, drug taking and being generally horrible to their parents - I have none of that going on (touches wood about 100 times, crosses the chest and and kisses the crucifix around neck). So, long may the mess continue... And people knock the front door never the back - we use the back door so the hallway is lovely and tidy - if I do not actually let people in, all they glance is the hallway - they will assume that is the general, overall state of the house - tidy and clean!
Me too, exactly that. I like to think I'm taking a short break while I have my wild red headed feral child
I think it depends on your personality type creame.
When our house is messy/grubby then I turn into a nagging, irritable cow...but, when our house is tidy and fresh, I am all sweetness and light.
But, again I think it very much in my nature, to want things tidy/organised - and I actually find it quite soothing to be always pottering about, tidying up, re-organising, stream-lining stuff.
I don't think it's impossible (sorry OP) but it is time consuming and 'what's the point' feeling inducing. My dts are 14 months and one day last week I spent what felt like the entire day picking up toys and washing. I was worn out! The next day the house had gone to the dogs and I had another 3 loads of washing. That's where my 'well what's the point comes in'. So to some extent I agree with cream it is a BIG effort so you have to just decide how much effort you want to make. I do the minimum here- beds,dishes, laundry (hardly iron) tidy toys a few times a day. Hoover when it needs it. Wipe surfaces when I'm waiting for the kettle/dinner etc. Wipe highchairs, tables etc after every meal. Actually it sounds like I'm doing a lot but my windows are filthy and my cupboards and draws contain sooo much crap! (I'm not joking the other day I found a piece of toast the dresser draw)
The other thing I find is that if I make a big effort to clean all the time and keep the house really tidy, I feel really anxious about it getting messy and turn into super anal nag bag picking on everything everyone does. Been like that tonight and its caused tension.
I could have written your exact post OP just add another toddler to the mix
I tidy up like crazy when i know people are coming round, then apologise for the mess even though it's really tidy as if i'm usually some sort of domestic goddess!! If i go round someones house i couldn't give a fig if its untidy (unless a cat is sitting on the biscuits) ..i just can't bring myself not to mind about mine though.Nuts, eh?
I have a 3 yr old and work 4 full days a week.
I try really hard to keep on top of the housework, washing etc.
However, the mess gremlin creeps in and messes it all up, puts crumbs on the floor, puts extra washing in the basket, chuck dust all over the place
Creame it's always horses for courses...and, I found that if you kept on top of the house work, as in did quite a bit each day, then it somehow took less time, if that makes sense?
I'd always set aside a couple of days per week, where I'd do very little/no housework (otherwise I'd have gone loopy). But, when I was at home, I was always, always busy.
Then again, I've never been one for sitting, or watching TV, anyway, so I was happier being busy doing stuff.
Sorry, pressed Post too soon...
My Mum always ran a very clean, tidy house...everything very ship-shape, and I think she brought me up to follow her good habits. When she used to take care of both our toddler DDs, for one day per week, I'd always come home to an immaculate house, freshly bathed DDs, and a stew in the oven...but, as I said above, my Mum never sat down all day, she was always on the go. But, at least I knew it could be done...and, I just followed her lead.
It was exhausting, but I hated the house to be a mess, and grubby, it made me feel far more horrible than the tiredness did.
So, I basically tidied as I went along, all the time. That means the mess never got chance to build up.
I used disposable wipes to give the loos a quick wipe every day, and kept those bleach bombs in the cistern, so our loos were always clean and fresh.
We lived in a barn conversion, so space was never a problem, and we had lots of storage which was vital.
laqueen out of interest I have tried to keep the house completely tidy eg beds all made washing all away everywhere hoovered polished etc bathrooms clean.
I have literally not stopped. I had lots on with the dds yesterday and so with all the housekeeping didn't sit down until gone 9 after cooking and making packed lunches. I ate then had to put cooking stuff in dishwasher and wipe down sides then hang up wet washing!
I fell into bed with greasy hair no moisturiser and was too tired to even speak to dh when he got home from work never mind anything else.
Sod that! I'd rather have a life thanks.
It depends what you mean by "always". I never tidy/clean during the day except wiping up meal mess, but I spend 15 mins tidying and a quick clean just before DCs go to bed so the house is in a reasonable state for the evening
Hmmm...well, it can be done, but basically you simply do not sit down all day, ever (speaks from bitter experience). And, it just depends if you're prepared to put that amount of effort/hard work in - in order to always have a clean/tidy house?
Mine stays tidy
enough if I tidy up every day. Having enough storage is the key - we simply don't buy/keep big toys we can't put away.
We are gradually working through our house getting more storage or less stuff until it is completely manageable.
Flylady saved my sanity and my house.
You get bombarded with emails, so my house is tidier and my email inbox is a mess now. My mil can't judge that though .
curiousitycola, no, have not tried flylady alhough often see it on mumsnet. Need to check it out. oldladyinashoe
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