A child has urinated all over ds.

(224 Posts)
PrammyMammy Mon 18-Mar-13 17:58:58

I'm not sure if I am over reacting or not.
Ds is 5 and in primary one. The boy in question is also 5 and in the same class as ds.

Firstly in February I had a letter sent home saying my ds was outside the toilet cubicle with his pants down and had lost 'Golden time' because of this. I asked him about it and his reason was that he was in the toilet doing a poo and the boy pushed him off the seat and told him he was to use another toilet.
When I called the school with that story they said that isn't what they had heard and as far as they knew that isn't what happened.
So, today at my work I got a call.
Ds has been involved in an insistent, he was sitting on the toilet and another boy opened the door, entered and wee'd all over him. He has been changed, is no longer upset and the other boy's parents have been called.

At first I thought that the school had dealt with it well and appropriately, until I got my son off the school bus and he had an entire change of clothes, his own clothes in a bag, completely soaking wet, I'm talking woollen jumper, trousers, poloshirt, vest and pants, all soaking. This boy had done a full wee on him.
I asked him about it, and it turns out it was the same boy who pushed him off the toilet in February.
About ten minutes later the school called me. I expected it to be about the insistent. It was his teacher asking me for my permission to sent ds to speech and language therapy. I brought up that it was the same boy who they said hadn't pushed ds off the toilet before and again she said 'no that didn't happen as far as we are aware'.

I doubt my son has made up that he was pushed off a toilet seat by the same boy who has wee'd all over him a month later.
I don't know if I should meet with the school or leave it at this. I mean there is nothing else that can be done about today, but if this is an on going thing then I'd like them to realise it and not just dismiss me.
What would you do?

Flobbadobs Mon 18-Mar-13 18:02:35

Ask for a meeting with the teacher. If your DS had been changed then someone must know about it, strange that the teacher apparently doesn't though, I wouldn't take a good view of that at all.

EricNorthmansFangBanger Mon 18-Mar-13 18:02:41

Personally I would go in a create merry hell. How do they know for sure it wasn't the same boy? Are they taking the other boy's word for it or do they have proof it wasn't him? What is going to happen to they boy who wee'd all over your DS? I get they're only 5 but seriously that other child should know better!

cleofatra Mon 18-Mar-13 18:03:51

I'm amazed that the incident has just been left like that. I can imagine someone coming in and urinating all over you could be quite traumatic.

Lovelygoldboots Mon 18-Mar-13 18:04:38

They are fobbing you off. Speak to head. The evidence speaks for itself.

Euphemia Mon 18-Mar-13 18:04:51

I would speak to the school, push it as they're not taking you seriously.

Ask them to look into what happened: have they questioned each child, separately? Any witnesses?

How are they so sure that what your DS said happened didn't? What are they saying happened? Why do they think your DS is telling a different story?

PrammyMammy Mon 18-Mar-13 18:08:14

It was the head teacher who called me today at work and dealt with it as from what I can gather it happened at lunch time.
I offered to come and collect him at the time but they said he was fine now.

I have no idea how she can be so certain that this boy didn't push ds off the toilet last month but she seems to be. I wrote the school a letter naming the same boy last month. The teacher called me at the time saying it didn't happen and when ds got off the bus and named him again that is what set alarm bells ringing that this may be an ongoing thing they haven't picked up on.

Geordieminx Mon 18-Mar-13 18:08:46

I would go bat shit...

If an adult pissed all over another adult it would be classed as assault surely?

That's vile. So sorry for your ds

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 18-Mar-13 18:09:19

Bloody hell!! Way to give him a fear of school toilets. The poor boy. Agree with the merry hell comment, and they need to deal with this boy harshly. He needs to learn to leave others alone when they're on the toilet. sad angry

ClaimedByMe Mon 18-Mar-13 18:10:44

I am sure, but no expert, that urinating on someone is assault, this needs to be nipped in the bud now, if this is what he is doing at 5 what will he be doing in 5 years time...

NuhichNuhaymuh Mon 18-Mar-13 18:12:43

Absolutely go into the school. Do not let it go.

What an utter disgrace, theirs incident alone possibly could be classed as a "we can't say who is telling the truth" incident. If his clothes were soaking then there can be no denying it

NuhichNuhaymuh Mon 18-Mar-13 18:14:01

theirs incident = the first incident

PrammyMammy Mon 18-Mar-13 18:14:35

They have contacted the wee boys parents and said he won't be going to the toilet unsupervised from now on, which is fair enough, I don't know if there is anything else they can do but still I'm angry.
There is parents evening on Thursday. Would it be advisable to wait until then or go up tomorrow just for a chat?

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 18-Mar-13 18:14:47

This is horrendous! I would go absolutely ape shit. Don't be fobbed off by the head. Go to the board of governors if you must, but keep pushing until they do something significant.

Your poor ds sad 5 is such a tender age to experience this level of bullying.

PrammyMammy Mon 18-Mar-13 18:17:07

Oh yeah the first one where the lad pushed him off the toilet is the one they are unsure about. There is no hiding the second one, the head teacher caught the boy doing it, she actually went in the toilet while it was happening.

Svrider Mon 18-Mar-13 18:17:29

Don't wait for parents evening
You need agreement in writing what they are doing to safeguard your child

Euphemia Mon 18-Mar-13 18:17:57

No board of governors in Scotland; your next port of call would be your council education department.

edwardsmum11 Mon 18-Mar-13 18:18:13

I would raise merry hell about both the incident and the teachers responses tbh.

SnotMeReally Mon 18-Mar-13 18:20:53

Although I feel for your poor DS, and you must persist and get listened to, I am also worried about the other boy.
In what sort of world would a 5 yo not know that was a very very wrong thing to do?

Maggie111 Mon 18-Mar-13 18:22:43

YANBU - I'd have a meeting with the school to discuss it asap.

ReluctantBeing Mon 18-Mar-13 18:23:34

I would make a massive fuss. The school is not ensuring that the loos are a safe place to be.

PrammyMammy Mon 18-Mar-13 18:26:09

I know! That's what my husband said Snot, tbh it never crossed my own mind, but he questioned why the boy would thing that was okay.
I mean, it was a full wee, every item of clothing ds had on was wet except his socks.

Badvoc Mon 18-Mar-13 18:27:34

I would pretty mad over this op.
Take it to the head.
If you get no joy there tell her you will be contacting the b of gov and ofsted with your concerns.

Owllady Mon 18-Mar-13 18:28:47

the little boy may have developmental delays or other issues that the school will not tell you about anyway BUT it doesn't sound like the school are handling things very well and I doubt if this child has issues with toileting he is singling your son out, but regardless of that support needs to be put in place to stop this happening and a meeting seems like a sensible plan

I am sorry about your boy, it sounds distressing for him

Geordieminx Mon 18-Mar-13 18:29:02

Prammymammy.... Is the school in a village beginning with U?

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