to wonder why it's ok to insult slim people but not overweight people on MN?

(121 Posts)
RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 21:55:41

Just for the record I don't think it's ok to insult anyone over looks/weight/height etc.

But seriously some of the comments I have read about slim people on here are just disgusting.

Slim people look "poorly", "aged" are "boring" etc.

For some reason it seems ok on here to make nasty comments directed at slim people, but if you dare make a comment about overweight people you will get flamed by the flames of hell.

Aibu?

freddiefrog Sun 17-Mar-13 22:50:31

^ And I didn't like the comments about "real women" having curves, etc.^

Me neither. Men like 'real women' and 'you're far too thin'. Never actually worked what I was far too thin for though. Morris dancing maybe?

I'm pretty sure if I replied with 'well, you're far too fat' I'd have been ripped to pieces.

I remember pulling a friend up on it years ago and she seemed to think that because I was thin I should be able to take it on the chin

Bashing people whatever their weight/height/etc/etc is not on

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 22:50:39

Peppa the comments I'm referring to are when someone starts a 'fat bashing' thread (which I don't condone at all) and a lot of users I have noticed will get very angry about it - but then they throw out insults about thin people.

I don't know why they do, but I can probably hazard a guess.

Darkesteyes Sun 17-Mar-13 22:51:25

I counted at least three fat bashing threads on this board running at the same time straight after New Year.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 22:52:05

The way I see it, age has a lot to do with it. I'm sure there is some anthropological reason for sticking a few pounds on in middle age , personally I think it's to fill out the wrinkles grin

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 22:52:57

If insulting comments are made about thin people on Mumsnet then they are immediately jumped on and shouted down, ime.

See I don't know ... from what I've witnessed they seem to either got ignored or agreed with.

Mintyy Sun 17-Mar-13 22:53:49

Well, not in my experience.

What a boring conversation! I will leave now.

timidviper Sun 17-Mar-13 22:54:21

Maybe I just notice it because I am fat but there seems to be an awful lot of fat-bashing stuff on MN.

I think it has to be noted that celebs are a lot, lot thinner than the average woman and I wouldn't count celeb-bashing in this for that very reason.

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 22:54:25

I counted at least three fat bashing threads on this board running at the same time straight after New Year.

No I do agree. I have seen a few fat bashing threads BUT ... the person who starts them always gets flamed.

And quite a few of the people that flame them do it by insulting thin people.

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 22:55:26

What a boring conversation! I will leave now

Thanks for that input hmm

What a lovely person you are.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 17-Mar-13 22:55:32

People probably criticise thin people because it justifies them being overweight and makes them feel better.

I'm overweight, by about three stone. Have lost a stone already and am hoping to lose a bit more. Have a good friend who is about a size six, gorgeous, happily married, lovely kids and very wealthy. I have the happy family life just the same as her but all I think about whenever I see her is god you're so slim and I have image envy. envy See, green face and everything.

maddening Sun 17-Mar-13 22:59:14

It's not something I would do and don't agree with.

I think in the instances you refer to it is a defensive response in the heat of the moment - not that it should be condoned and tbh is not productive in a discussion.

I do think that it isn't seen as insulting to some as slim is considered the perfect state both physically, healthwise and even aesthetically so perhaps people don't "see" the insults in these comments? I think it is down to perception

freerangeeggs Sun 17-Mar-13 23:01:11

I completely agree with Shakey1500. I have been both thin and fat and the comments I received when thin were just as hurtful.

I remember once two women standing behind me at Weightwatchers and them wondering out loud why I was there, and saying "I mean look at that, there's nothing on that" and feeling quite tearful about it. They didn't realise I'd spent a year and a half losing five stones.

People just feel like it's okay to comment on your weight when you're thin. I wish people had been so concerned about my weight when I was munching my way to obesity. There's a bit of jealousy there too, for some people, IMO.

MomaP Sun 17-Mar-13 23:01:19

Oooh FFS!! I've never seen so many weight related threads on MN in one night before.

I'm overweight, actually, I'm classed as morbidly obese.
I look like shit, personally.
I struggle to get it under control.
I believe it's my depression related issues.
I hate how ugly I look, more than anyone else does.
I don't let it impact negatively on my DH and DS.
I'm extra cautious over my DS eating habits.
But most of all, I'm happy, because I have a gorgeous family that accept and support me despite the above.

Now shut the fuck up about overweight and underweight people.
Does it really MATTER?

soontobeburns Sun 17-Mar-13 23:01:31

It is the way society sees things. If your fat you are very unhappy and so being insulated could lead you to comfort eat or get depressed. Whereas if you are skinny you are beautiful and envied so therefore must have high self esteem and can take a jab.

Of course this is all an assumption. Im a size 24 and obese yet I am happier in my body than my smaller friends.

WorraLiberty Sun 17-Mar-13 23:01:41

I think it has to be noted that celebs are a lot, lot thinner than the average woman and I wouldn't count celeb-bashing in this for that very reason.

Really? Why?

So it's ok to rip apart someone's weight because they're a celebrity? confused

They're still humans aren't they?

leaharrison11 Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:00

I am very slim and trust me iv tried putting in weight it doesnt happen after DS was born my weight fell off me ( i was poorly ) the comments i got was awful people asked if i was starving myself said i looked ill, my mum even told me to put make up and to wear diffrent clothes cus people would think i wasnt coping shockshockshock its horrible, judging people on size is cruel and no one should be insulted , if your a size 2 or 22 its s cruel world

Darkesteyes Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:23

Im overweight but i would NEVER criticise someone for being slimmer. Its a, bloody nasty. and b. reducing a persons importance to nothing but their looks and there is so much more to a person than what they look like.

When i was a teen a very close friend had anorexia. We were best friends I was the opposite of her and ate too much.
But looks never came into it. We were best mates because we got on well and liked the same things..music,. books, she introduced me to Madonna. I introduced her to Sweet Valley High.

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:27

I am happier in my body than my smaller friends.

Kind of the comments I'm referring to.

WorraLiberty Sun 17-Mar-13 23:04:07

Now shut the fuck up about overweight and underweight people.
Does it really MATTER?

Can I just ask who died and made you boss of MN? confused

If we only discussed things that really mattered, this website would be empty...

SashaSashays Sun 17-Mar-13 23:05:14

This doesn't exactly fuck me off but it grates. It's not just on mn, in real life it's perfectly acceptable.

About three weeks ago I was called 'eating disorder'. It's so rude.

I completely get that in the same way being overweight can be unhealthy, being underweight is also an issue. However I eat like a horse, and not even particularly healthily but people feel its ok to say there's something wrong with me, to talk about my weight in front of me as if I'm not there and make all sorts of comparisons which I don't think would happen if I was overweight.

MomaP Sun 17-Mar-13 23:07:50

It's different when this could potentially be insulting 50% of MN.

Who died and made me the boss of MN? Oh grow up!!

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 23:08:32

Im a size 24 and obese yet I am happier in my body than my smaller friends

It makes me wonder, what if I had said -

I'm a size 6 and thin yet I'm happier in my body than my bigger friends

Would that comment go down well? ... I have a feeling that it probably wouldn't.

RidingInCarsWithBoys Sun 17-Mar-13 23:09:09

It's different when this could potentially be insulting 50% of MN.

What this exact post? or just in general?

WorraLiberty Sun 17-Mar-13 23:10:53

A few weeks after I gave birth to DS1, I was in my local pub in the pool room.

An acquaintance who had given birth around a similar time, was sitting there with her friends as I walked by.

She took it upon herself to smile and shout (in front of everyone), "For fuck sake, when are you going to put on a bit of weight you skinny cow?"

Did I shout back, "As soon as you decide to lose some you fat bitch"?

No I didn't...and it took all my strength not to.

Because I knew that in her ignorant mind, she genuinely didn't see anything wrong in what she'd said.

But honestly, I could have decked her.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Sun 17-Mar-13 23:11:38

FreeRangeEggs - I remember once two women standing behind me at Weightwatchers and them wondering out loud why I was there, and saying "I mean look at that, there's nothing on that" and feeling quite tearful about it. They didn't realise I'd spent a year and a half losing five stones

I'm a bit confused? Why didn't you embrace their comments and tell them about the 5 stone you'd lost. I wouldn't have needed to, they'd have been well aware already grin

You did really really well, I hope you are now happy with your weight smile

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