to think that being overweight is never a good look?

(272 Posts)
INeedThatForkOff Sun 17-Mar-13 20:25:17

Superficial, I know. I say this as someone who is just about obese at size 16, four months postnatal.

Pre DCs I lost two stones and was at the top of my healthy weight range and a size 12. Fine really. I put on 3st with DD, lost it over 9 months, then let a stone creep back on again. I gained another 3st with DS and am in the process of losing it through diet and exercise, though struggling with tiredness, not wanting to compromise BFing, lack of time greed etc. I need to lose at least 2st still, but 3 would be best.

I've finally given in and replaced my maternity and BFing clothes with a few new bits which, to a degree, makes me feel better, but frankly when I get out and spend time with slim, healthy people, I realise that I will never look good at this size.

It's not just a self esteem issue. As much as we try to dress it up and say you can be stylish at any size, most looks work better on slim people. Being overweight has connotations of unhealthiness, lack of control, greed or laziness, and I think it's very hard to ignore that. I'm aware that in some circumstances (and I have PCOS) weight control can be difficult. Also that some people genuinely don't give a shit about how anyone else views them. Perhaps I'm simply prejudiced.

But I just don't think being overweight can be a good look. I can't even think of anyone in the public eye who looks genuinely good, without the conditional 'for their size'.

AIBU?

Fuck, I don't know if I dare post this. Flame away (it might actually help me feel better as I am, though that's not my intention!)

ImperialBlether Sun 17-Mar-13 20:26:22

I'd get the popcorn out if it wasn't fattening.

You are going to burn baby, burn.

Mintyy Sun 17-Mar-13 20:27:54

And the point of this wind up thread is what??

DamnBamboo Sun 17-Mar-13 20:27:59

I can't even begin to think why you posted this!

I think it's sad that you can't see beauty in someone who is overweight.

I'm overweight but very pretty and attractive - I've never had anyone say that I look good for my size confused

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 20:28:34

Yabu some people look better than others, regardless of size. Some really slim people can't dress for shit and just assume everything suits them, some curvy women try to squeeze into styles that don't suit them.

Dressing well, for your size, regardless of what that size may be, is a talent.

RatPants Sun 17-Mar-13 20:28:40

Clothes look better on thin people, without question. They hang better, the silhouette is nicer but then again I don't think the underfed kind of skinny look is one to emulate either. Meh.

Portofino Sun 17-Mar-13 20:30:01

So you are fat and have come to have a pop at other fat people to make you feel better? confused

MooMooSkit Sun 17-Mar-13 20:30:43

I don't think YABU to personally have that opinion, however, lots of people don't think that and I can see this thread becoming a bunfight. However, IMO I agree overweight doesn't ever look good and would find it extremly difficult if I did put on weight due to circumstances out of my control like thyroid issues so anyone who gets like that through no fault of their own I feel for.

Smudging Sun 17-Mar-13 20:30:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

INeedThatForkOff Sun 17-Mar-13 20:31:31

I agree, clothes don't look good if you can't dress for shit. I can't.

I started it because it's what I think. I wanted to put it out there I'm well aware I'm going to get a pasting. It's just a forum <shrugs>

MooMooSkit Sun 17-Mar-13 20:31:50

Also agree with what an above poster says, it would be unfair to dismiss the face just because someone is overweight. Adele is clearly overweight but I think she has a beautiful face and dresses well.

janey68 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:32:03

There are some bloody ugly people about who aren't overweight. Just saying .

Areyoumadorisitme Sun 17-Mar-13 20:32:06

YABU to have posted this when you must realise the only result is that you will piss off or upset a lot of people.

There can be no good come out of this, you know how you feel and seem to feel it deeply so aren't looking for people to change your mind.

Pointless fat bashing. Have my first biscuit.

kinkyfuckery Sun 17-Mar-13 20:32:14

There's a difference between being overweight and obese.

Startail Sun 17-Mar-13 20:32:14

My very big DSIS is prettier than me and has better skin than I have ever had.

The slimiest mum at school always looks ill.

Pagwatch Sun 17-Mar-13 20:33:07

I think you probably are simply prejudiced. And tbh it's not desperately wealthy to layer such negative judgements upon people who are overweight if you are overweight yourself.
To become a happy healthy person you have to value yourself. Your post is layered with contempt for people like you.

Pagwatch Sun 17-Mar-13 20:33:34

Healthy not wealthy.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 17-Mar-13 20:33:45

I don't think it's just about overweight. The plus size models that get used to show plus size clothes always look great. I have a friend that's very overweight, but she always looks lovely, because she has a good shape. Her figure is perfect, just bigger.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 20:33:46

Maybe seek out a bit of help regarding how to dress for your new shape? It would make the world of difference to how you feel. Wearing shapeless baggy things would make anyone look rubbish.

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

AnnabelKarma Sun 17-Mar-13 20:34:26

underfed kind of skinny look

Is that as opposed to the overfed kind of fatty look ?

Or are we still only allowed to be rude about slim people on MN? hmm

PhallicGiraffe Sun 17-Mar-13 20:34:31

YANBU, but a lot of people on here are very sensitive about their weight so this won't end well.

INeedThatForkOff Sun 17-Mar-13 20:34:43

slimiest? Ha!

I'm not intending to offend fat people, but I know I will. Is it just me who sees those connotations then?

INeedThatForkOff Sun 17-Mar-13 20:35:41

GwendolineMaryLacy - nope, not a bit.

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