To stop preparing for our holiday since nobody else can be arsed?

[Miast]

Tomorrow we fly to America for a 3 week east to west nightmare trip involving shit loads of planning and organisation.

Fuck all has been done so far, no packing or sorting - nothing. We were supposed to do some of it Friday afternoon as DP had the afternoon off work but instead he books an opticians appointment and we end up stuck in there for most of the afternoon - he then gets drops put in his eyes so he can't do fuck all for the rest of the afternoon. So that's a wright off.

Saturday morning then before he goes to pick up his kids? well you'd think so but instead he decides to book a doctor's appointment to discuss something that isn't happening until a few months into the future anyway (and even then the doctor's think it's a waste of time). So Saturday is a write off as he then has to pick up the kids and they're at football all afternoon and stay at his house saturday night. Compromise was that he'd take the kids back to their mums for 12pm today (this is what she wanted too as she's getting pissed off with never seeing the kids on a weekend as he's picking them up earlier than he used to). So I spent all of last night washing, ironing, organising and packing looking forward to some help when he gets here at 12.30ish today.

Well - he's just text me laughing that his eldest is still in bed so everything is running behind.

AIBU to just stop trying and let him do the lot when he eventually arrives?

[HortyGal]

Nope, but I bet you don't.

[ShellyBoobs]

Who is going to America?

If it's just you and DP, sort yourself out and leave him to sort out his own packing, etc.

[TallDwarf]

I'd do my own stuff and leave him to sort his. He's an adult, surely he can handle that.

[Ledkr]

I did this once. Ill never forget the look on his knobish face when I told him we had no currency. 'twas very satisfying indeed!

[AgentZigzag]

Agree with Tall, let him get his own stuff together, you're not his mum and he's not 5.

[Miast]

Yeah that's another thing, I had to sort currency out yesterday while he was at the football and the other money he has on him his mother sorted for him

[SavoyCabbage]

That is exactly what my husband would do. We went to the US when our dd was 18 months. So baby paraphernalia, was involved.

We arrive. It's 30 something degrees. Dh has timberland boots on his feet. No other footwear. But he does has weights. Weights, yes weights. And a 23cm thick book on accountancy. Hardback.

[bedmonster]

Did you have to go to the opticians with him? You lost valuable time there!
He doesn't manage his time very well does he?
I would just get as much of it done as I could. You'll both be away tomorrow, and have forgotten who packed what or that you packed everything

[lljkk]

pmsl @ weights & accountancy book.

R or U Depends who is involved OP, I have learnt that if I want something done I do it. If I left it to any of DC we'd never go anywhere or do anything. Harder with adults... DH once left his passport behind but remembered only 50 minutes from home (phew).

[Christelle2207]

I would be tempted to say let him just sort himself out but I did the same before dh and I flew out to Malaysia for a wedding. Half way there in the plane he tells me he has forgotten to bring any shoes other than sandals. So as soon as we got there, vvv jet lagged, we had to go shopping. Though tbh I should have just gone to the hotel to sleep, his fault not mine.
They just can't be trusted unfortunately. If it wasn't for me we wouldn't get organised to go anywhere other than work and sainsbury's.

[dopeysheep]

"we had to go shopping" - nope, he forgot, he goes shopping. You have a lovely sleep in the hotel bed.

[oldqueencrepey]

Exactly how long does it take to pack for 2 adults? surely a few hours will be quite enough. What is the problem? If he forgets stuff, overpacks, has not time to wash and iron how is that your worry. You sound very agitated and angry over not a lot so yabu.

[oldqueencrepey]

why do you want to take on the role of mum to these adult babies partners? There is something a bit yuk about infantilising your partner in this way. I can't imagine wanting to have sex with someone who i spend my time organising / bossing about / patronising etc.

[user12785]

Why on earth do you have to pack for him? He's not a child! So what if you get there and he has no pants, it will make him more organised next time. The more you do it for him, the less responsibility he will take for himself and the more annoyed you will get.

[specialsubject]

passports, tickets, insurance, ESTAs, money, medication, specs/contact lenses. All else is detail. Pack what you need, tell him to pack his own case.

why iron? You'll be in a car for 3 weeks by the sound of it...

[Longdistance]

Let him sort his own stuff out.

My dh does it all last minute, and then complains he's forgotten something

Leave him to do his, and just look smug when he's forgotten something, and has to go out and buy it.

[drownangels]

I don't pack for my kids these days and they are 13 and 16.
Depending on our luggage allowance I will ask them to leave a pile of stuff in their room or on my bed to organise or if they have there own cases to sort it out.They know if they are going skiing then they have to pack their own goggles, gloves, base layers etc and if they are going to the sun they need flip flops and suncream.
I have never packed for DH except maybe sometimes to leave stuff out and I'll organize.

I haven't had a cry of ' did you pack.........' for years!! if they needed it and it's not there it ain't my problem!

[QuickLookBusy]

I don't work and my DH works very long hours.

But I never pack his case, he's a grown man and I'm not his mother.

Also I take ages to plan what I'm taking, coordinate outfits/shoes etc.. He does his case in about ten minutes flat

[ChaoticisasChaoticdoes]

OP pack your own stuff and leave him to do his. If he forgets something that's his problem, you're not his mother. It is not your responsibility.

[littlewhitebag]

I never pack for DH and he usually packs the night before he goes away. He can pack for a long haul trip anywhere in under two hours. If you are going to US then he can buy stuff he forgets easily enough. Just make sure you have what you need then settle down with a glass of wine to answer the 'where is' and 'have you seen' questions.

[lljkk]

if they needed it and it's not there it ain't my problem!

it is if you arrive and they've no pants or socks, unless you're mean enough to take it out of their pocket money (actually that's still your problem since they won't take it quietly, and personally I'd prefer to have a holiday without a soundtrack of excessive whinging). Or even a change of clothes, and only the most unsuitable footwear (sigh). DH thinks our 13yo can manage own packing, whereas I prefer to minimise unnecessary spending.

[Svrider]

Also America

[SDeuchars]

When my DC were small, they packed for themselves with me saying "How many days are we going for? So how many pairs of pants, socks, T-shirts, etc.?" By the time they were teens, they could manage that themselves so I never had to do it. It's not rocket science.

[Groovee]

Didn't you post this last week?

[annh]

Is this some kind of stealth boast? If you have so much to do, why have you either joined MN/namechanged just to tell us this?