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To not want my DC's friends visiting on weekend mornings unannounced?

(127 Posts)
Dragonwoman Sun 10-Mar-13 17:18:54

This morning, like many weekend mornings my doorbell went at 10.30 & next thing I knew I had 2 extra 8 year olds in my house.
I called DD1 upstairs & told her to tell them to leave. She knows I don't like people round when I'm not dressed. She thinks I'm being mean & DH also thinks I'm being a bit odd. In the end DD1 went out to the friends house instead.

Am I really that odd, bearing in mind that -
1) I work all week, so don't get much time in the house during the day.

2) I sleep in the raw, so does DH & we often nip across the landing in the nude to the bathroom. We don't have an ensuite. I don't want to come across other peoples kids when I'm in the nip thank-you!

3) We live on an estate & kids are calling all the time - if I don't put my foot down I will have extra kids all day every day weekends & holidays.

4) One of my DC will invariably wander into my room for something & then leave the door wide open. I don't want randoms on the landing who can see me lying in bed!

5) While other people may be up & dressed earlier than 10.30, in my own house on a day off I don't want to!

If it was a pre-arranged visit for something special of course I would get dressed, but as it is I think I am entitled to some privacy in my own home.

Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 12:12:13

grin I sleep nude too. I have thought about teh fire thing but the joy of sleeping nude wins. I keep my dressing gown handy!

WorraLiberty England Mon 11-Mar-13 12:13:00

Dolly, I'd prefer a house full of rescue cats to kids any day grin

valiumredhead Mon 11-Mar-13 12:24:30

The issue her is not other people's kids but how you need to enforce the rules wrt to your dd opening the door without your say so.

valiumredhead Mon 11-Mar-13 12:24:37

here

TomArchersSausage Mon 11-Mar-13 12:34:06

Yaddnbu.

Where we used to live I'm surprised the doorbell didn't wear away dc's friends were ringing it ALL the time all over weekends and holidays. It used to drive me nuts. I'm like you Dragon and prefer not to be overun with random children thundering about the place at any given spare minute..

It got so bad it was a major factor in moving. I felt we had no privacy and it was invasive. I don't think we ever had an uninterrupted mealtime during the last year or so therehmm

You have to take control by making it clear to dc when is ok and when is not or you will be over-run. And if they don't get the message stick a big note on the door that 'Dd is busy and will be out later. Do not knock/ring bell.'

SCOTCHandWRY Mon 11-Mar-13 12:44:03

shockshockshock At posters suggesting locking the door and hiding the key! NO, really don't so this!

I have a friend in the fire service, and that kills people, especially kids. It was drummed into mine from a really young age, 3.5, to 4, how to get out of the house through the doors and windows and seek help - even at 4 they knew how to do this, and also never to answer the door if they woke before us, but to tell us someone was knocking.

Op, make some house rules and enforce them, easy for kids to understand "no friends over to play at weekends until after lunch"

SCOTCHandWRY Mon 11-Mar-13 12:44:33

Don't Do, obviously.

SCOTCHandWRY Mon 11-Mar-13 12:47:07

Tomarchers...

It was a factor in us moving house too, we live a couple of miles out of town now, and that meant all visits from dc friend had to be arranged!

seeker Mon 11-Mar-13 12:48:58

What a mean spirited lot!

valiumredhead Mon 11-Mar-13 12:49:53

LOL, I knew you'd say that seeker grin

WorraLiberty England Mon 11-Mar-13 12:53:15

Me too grin

SCOTCHandWRY Mon 11-Mar-13 12:54:42

Not mean, Seeker, perhaps a little controlling grin, but seriously it all depends on personality, some people enjoy a house full of random kids, some people actually find it quite stressful and intrusive into our "rest days". The DC don't/didn't miss out, plenty of socialising but a bit more organised and when it suited the adults as will as the kids iykwim.

I agree with seeker grin

VenusRising Mon 11-Mar-13 13:03:23

Just tell the other mums that you and your partner go at it like hammer and tongs on the weekend mornings, and that you'd prefer if there kids weren't there. Try and fob your kids off on them, see how that goes down... Like a lead balloon I'm thinking!

Some very hokey judgey pants opinions of what you should be doing with your weekend morning lie ins, and what you should be wearing also! Ignore!

I was often told, without any niceties when was acceptable for me to call over to pals on the weekend. It taught me a lot to know I wasn't welcome at the crack of dawn, to respect other people's time and homes... Kids need to be told explicitly when they can come over, and when they cannot.

Pandemoniaa Mon 11-Mar-13 13:05:45

Just make a rule - on Sundays there are no additional guests until everyone in the house is up and dressed. And tell your DD that she doesn't open the front door until the up and dressed conditions are met.

diddl Germany Mon 11-Mar-13 14:10:54

I agree that it's your children who need teaching to do as they are told-& to shut doors!

I'm always last up in the week.

Sometimes the cat come in & jumps on the bed-obviously leaving the door open.

Husband & children always shut the door when that happens-so that their getting ready in the morning disturbs me as little as possible.

mrsjay Mon 11-Mar-13 14:13:50

* don't let them in, my DD does. Often unknown to me. When I become aware they are there I send them away, but it really bugs me to have to get up & talk to other peoples DCs while in my dressing gown.*

Oh ok sorry must have misread you dont you hear the door keep the door locked and dont let your child answer it .

mrsjay Mon 11-Mar-13 14:14:22

Just make a rule - on Sundays there are no additional guests until everyone in the house is up and dressed. And tell your DD that she doesn't open the front door until the up and dressed conditions are met.

^ ^ this

whateveritakes Mon 11-Mar-13 14:29:48

YANBU letting children in on a Sunday morning when you don't want them.

YABU both of you staying upstairs till 10.30 with an 8 year old and toddler. You aren't "entitled to" because you get up at a normal time the rest of the week. Children should come first and teaching them that lying in bed is a good thing is really odd. Maybe an extra hour is OK on a Sunday but 10.30 is half the morning wasted.
Why can't you lie on the sofa and drink tea and eat toast?

atthewelles Mon 11-Mar-13 14:40:57

YANBU. Parents should have enough sense to know that other people on the road might not want their kids knocking on the door at 10.30 on a Saturday morning. Even if you're not in bed you might just want to wander around the house in your dressing gown and then have a relaxed shower or bath without being concious of other kids hanging around the place. I definitely think 12ish is early enough at the weekend to start welcoming other kids in.

Dragonwoman Mon 11-Mar-13 18:06:30

To all who are concerned at the neglect of my toddler, I am not in bed asleep while he roams the house. He is supervised and often is sitting in bed next to me for a cuddle. We don't get this cosy time any other morning. Of course if he knows there are other people's kids in the house this all goes to pot & he wants to join in, then the trouble occurs. grin
As for house fires I would try & grab my dressing gown, but if not possible I would be happy to be doing a lady Godiva impression in the street if everyone was out & safe. (Tho I may have to move away from the area rather than face the neighbours afterwards blush)

Dragonwoman Mon 11-Mar-13 18:13:12

Thanks all for views. Am surprised how many people think door opening is a dangerous activity for DCs!

My DCs won't answer the door to an adult - you can see thru the window who it is. Even if they did, what's the problem? My bedroom is above the door, I can hear the conversation. If I were up and in the kitchen I would be further away. What could happen to the DC that couldn't happen to them when playing out for example?

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 11-Mar-13 18:17:01

I think its a little mean to expect the older one to look after a toddler and not see her friends. However i've never understood why some people dont like their DC to have people over. DS often invites friends over and i love having a housefull.

BegoniaBampot Mon 11-Mar-13 18:20:43

OP - YANBU to have a lie in, to want no visitors till you are up and ready and to cartwheel naked through your house if you so wish. But YABU to blame the neighbourhood kids - just lay down the law with your own.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 11-Mar-13 18:26:34

YANBU and a big Up Yours to the 'you ought to be up by 10.30' brigade.

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