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Dh has just announced he is going out tonight and tomorrow night. I have a week old baby and 2 other children under 5. AIBU to feel mightily pissed off with him

(227 Posts)
Mugglewhump Sun 10-Mar-13 16:34:03

i have just arrived home from visiting my Mum on mothers day with all 3 children. As I walked through the door and just as DH's parents arrive at the house he announces to me "by the way I forgot I am going out tonight and also tomorrow night" He brought tickets for 2 comedy nights a few months ago (and would have known full well we would have had a newborn baby)

His will be going out just before bath and bedtime so i will have to bath 2 under 5's and get them to bed whilst the newborn screams as it will coincide with the time newborn ds normally cluster feeds.

Aibu to feel pissed off about this? I will have to sit on my own this evening with a baby plugged into my boob who i can't put down feeling pissed off, upset and knackered and to top it all its bloody Mothers day. I am fuming. Dh went out only 1wk ago to see Harry Hill (this was when i was 8 days overdue and could have gone into labour at anytime) but I was fine with this as thought I would be v miserable to moan and make him stay at home with me.

In 1wks time he has to go to Prague for a week with work so he will get rest and sleep whilst yet again I am left literally holding the baby! Am i being a miserable cow as Dh has just told me?

JollyYellowGiant Sun 10-Mar-13 16:35:16

Wtf? He's not being very considerate.

havingamadmoment Sun 10-Mar-13 16:35:23

yanbu with a week old baby I would expect him to be home actually doing most of the housework/childcare for older children. You are still recovering after a week he should be ashamed of himself!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 10-Mar-13 16:36:05

No you are not being a miserable cow, he is being an inconsiderate cunt. And a cowardly one, because he waited until his Mummy was there to tell you.

Convert Sun 10-Mar-13 16:36:51

You are not being a miserable cow, he is bang out of order. Tell him to stop being such a thoughtless, selfish cunt. It's Mother's Day FFS. You poor thing.

Floralnomad Sun 10-Mar-13 16:37:05

I'd make him do the bath time a bit earlier at least ,also he'd be choosing one of the 2 nights to go and giving the other nights ticket away .

livinginwonderland Sun 10-Mar-13 16:37:15

yanbu, make him sell the tickets to a friend and get him to put DC's to bed himself! cheeky sod.

NomNomDePlum Sun 10-Mar-13 16:37:22

no you aren't. your h is being an arsehole. you have a week old baby, fgs. in your position i would give the tikcets to a toddler to chew up. bastard.

yaimee Sun 10-Mar-13 16:37:58

of course yanbu! He's being a knob! I'm shock
give him hell!
Do you have any help? Not that it makes up for it but do you have any family and friends around to get you through the week!

havingamadmoment Sun 10-Mar-13 16:38:08

Also if my dh had said anything like that in front on my MIL he would have got a slap round the back of the head from MIL and a "ffs get in the house and care for having and the kids".

yellowbrickrd Sun 10-Mar-13 16:38:15

Err...no, you are not BU.

He is massively taking the piss out of you and it's going to have to stop. In fact I would tell him he couldn't go.

He called you 'a miserable cow'? That is not a healthy relationship.

sillyoldfool Sun 10-Mar-13 16:38:16

YANBU no way would DH even dream of doing that!

YADNBU! I don't see how he can possibly think this is ok (not going out, but doing it without discussion when you have 3 dc).

Ask him when he's planning on doing the bedtime run with all 3 kids alone twice in a row to give you equivalent time off. If he isn't keen then accuse him of being a miserable bastard.

elastamum Sun 10-Mar-13 16:39:18

YANBU, he is being a selfish arse.

I would tear the tickets up and shove them in the bin. He needs to grow up and pull his weight.

3littlefrogs Sun 10-Mar-13 16:39:21

Has he always been this selfish and self centred? Or is it a new thing?

If his parents live nearby, would they come and help you with the DC while their son is out enjoying himself?

No, YANBU. He is behaving like an adolescent. Actually that is unfair to adolescents - my teenagers would have been kinder and more thoughtful in a similar situation.

yaimee Sun 10-Mar-13 16:39:39

nomnom grin I second that, let the tickets 'accidentaly' fall into the hands of your toddler!

MrsTomHardy Sun 10-Mar-13 16:39:41

YANBU.... He is an arsehole tho

NatashaBee Sun 10-Mar-13 16:39:57

I would probably put up with one night (although wouldn't be pleased) but he's taking the piss.

Rosa Sun 10-Mar-13 16:40:19

A week old baby bloody hell .. You must be shattered or a saint. He is being very U and should be ashamed of himself for even considering going out.

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy Sun 10-Mar-13 16:40:23

shock NOT ok.

What did you say?

Spero Sun 10-Mar-13 16:41:08

He told you you were a miserable cow???

I am, once again, aghast at the sheer selfish unpleasant twattery so many men seem to,show their partners.

You are not remotely unreasonable to be furious and upset. The question is - what do you do now? A serious talk is in order. 2 children under 5 AND a new born is not a walk in the park. If he can't pull his weight now, when wil he ever?

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sun 10-Mar-13 16:41:32

YANBU!!! He is being a prize arse for leaving you with a week old baby, never mind an additional two young children and it being Mother's Day.

Good lord, YANBU

What are you going to do when he's away next week? Can't he get out of going?

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 10-Mar-13 16:41:45

You are not a miserable cow, and he is being selfish.
Is he usually like this? Are you usually understanding and let him go his own way without any objections?
Three children with the same self-centred bloke? confused
I'd start explaining how you feel and what a partnership is right now.

absolutely unacceptable. anyone who wasn't a massive cunt would know that.

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