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to think that we should all let our dh's off the hook on Mother's Day?

(108 Posts)
pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 22:49:27

Well am I?

To put it into context, I don't think they should look to us on Father's Day either...but in truth few men seem to. In general, it's us women who hold stock by these things.

It is very nice to feel appreciated. I understand that. But Mother's Day is about appreciating your mother surely?

I can also relate to having your dh take the opportunity to let you know he appreciates you as a mother, but expectations of how elaborately he expresses this seem to be high and getting higher.

Give them a break. Your turn will come. Your grown up children will come and spend time with you on Mother's Day.

If your dh puts out for his own mum, then he's doing alright. That's what we like to see.
Your turn will come.

I wish everyone a good day tomorrow. Personally, I will be getting homemade cards and breakfast in bed, then dh and I are leaving the kids with dh's aunt, and going out to pick up some craft materials and have lunch out. He will be popping round his mum's later with a gift and a posy. No hassle, no stress.

Remember, if someone doesn't know that they are being tested, they are never going to pass.

Perspective is a good thing. xxx

simplesusan Sat 09-Mar-13 23:24:10

Well I will be overjoyed if I get coffee and breakfast in bed, along with a card.
My dh thinks it is a load of balls though! made up by Hallmark he says.
I see his point but would appreciate being able to lounge around rather than doing housework as oer usual on a Sunday.
If it weren't for me mil would have got nothing for Mother's Day and I really think she deserves acknowledging.

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 23:26:40

When I say she's not in, I mean she has something else on. I am not snatching her son away while she pines alone. grin

TheCrackFox Sat 09-Mar-13 23:28:34

I'm not that keen on the commercial aspect of Mother's Day but I don't think it us too much to expect a lie in (especially where small children are involved), a cup of tea in bed and a home made card. DHs might need to put some thought into this.

shockers Sat 09-Mar-13 23:31:23

DH is working tomorrow, so I will take the children to a waterpark and have a blinding mothers' day sliding down slides and eating chips grin.

Inertia Sat 09-Mar-13 23:38:22

I think it's reasonable to hope that- in a household which includes a mother, father and children- the father will do the more challenging parenting tasks (e.g. getting up early with small children) so that the mum can do the more fun bits of parenting while having a nice meal cooked for her. It's nice if the father can ensure that the children produce some kind of home made card too. That's all I ever hoped for, TBH.

squeakytoy Sat 09-Mar-13 23:41:02

I notice that there are no complaints about the abundance of tv ads relating to mothers day either... grin

Skyebluesapphire Sat 09-Mar-13 23:47:17

Mothers Day is for mothers. If you have a young child then the least your DH could do is buy a card and flowers on behalf of that child.

We always took XH mum out to lunch and obviously that was for myself too once I'd had DD.

When married I never expected or got breakfast in bed. But I did expect a card and flowers.

Yama Sun 10-Mar-13 08:04:53

My turn to get up early this morning. Fair's fair - I had a lovely lie in yesterday.

We pay no notice to these enforced days. Just another delightful lazy Sunday where I don't don't do the majority of the chores. Being that i am not a servant, that is.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 10-Mar-13 08:12:34

I've always found it best just to tell him what will make me happy. So I've got a box of ferro Roche and a lie in which is all I asked for. The really nice added extras are that both DC have made me a card and DS has also made a present at school and ive had breakfast in bed.

Happy bunny here.

Jamdoughnutfiend Sun 10-Mar-13 08:19:27

Am not a fan of Hallmark holidays - told DH husband that he can get my car valeted tomorrow and I will very very happy with that. No chance of a lie in, he is on callout this weekend and was called out to work at 3am and has only just come back in and packed himself off to bed, but to be fair, I am a real early bird anyway, do DDs are watching octonaughts and I am MN'ing - pretty good day by my standards!

dribbleface Sun 10-Mar-13 08:20:53

All I asked for was a cup of tea in bed and that dh got up with the devil youngest. That's what I got and a lovely card made by ds1 who was very excited because he was able to write his own card this year. Perfect.

Follyfoot Sun 10-Mar-13 08:23:43

Mothering Sunday isnt a 'Hallmark holiday' though is it?

SkinnybitchWannabe Sun 10-Mar-13 08:24:24

My dh is at work, I get breakie in bed made by my ds, a homemade card from them and two daffs wrapped in silver foil from my youngest.
I certainly don't expect dh to fly about buying the biggest flowers or most expensive card..Mothers Day isn't about that.

Bananapickle Sun 10-Mar-13 08:26:47

I actually think there is nothing wrong with our DH's showing some appreciation on behalf of young children. That doesn't necessarily have to be at the expense of marking the day for their own mothers.
I think that expectations have to be realistic to whatever circumstances you are in. My DH is working today so no I haven't had a lie in but have had a present and card from my 2 year old DD. Obviously it wasn't her effort but my DH is teaching her the importance of appreciating me and when she is old enough she will do whatever is age appropriate to show her appreciation.
My first two mothers days with my DD were spent with the focus on my DM because she used to be local so I cooked but again didn't stop my DH showing appreciation to me through a nice breakfast, pressie and card.
I don't really get why a DH would not want to show his appreciation to everything that their wives/partners do for their families...but I realise that is being naive!!

D0G Sun 10-Mar-13 08:30:30

Couldn't agree more. I have 4 gorgeous home made cards and expect the bigger two will make breakfast and drop it all over the floor into my bedroom the rest of the day will be as normal smile

PurplePidjin Sun 10-Mar-13 08:30:34

Not off the hook as such because some men need a bit of a prod to show some appreciation, and children need to learn these things somehow.

But what's wrong with a card and a bunch of daffs and a genuinely sincere Thank You?

<wanders off muttering about rampant consumerism>

PS Mothering Sunday is a church service a certain amount of weeks before Easter. Mothers Day is a Hallmark Holiday wink

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Sun 10-Mar-13 08:35:31

Your turn will come.

Then why is it I'm sat at the computer, having got up to let the dog out, while the DC are still in bed? confusedgrin

Mind you, the Chaoticdog has now taken herself upstairs and jumped on both their beds and is now with DS and is probably whining to him instead of me.

AThingInYourLife Sun 10-Mar-13 08:37:17

Mothering Sunday might not be a Hallmark holiday, but mothers' day definitely is.

I agree with you, pictish.

We don't do mothers' day here. We never did it growing up either.

My own mother hates it.

And seeing all the misery and resentment it seems to create every year on MN has made me understand why.

It seems to be a day where the person being "celebrated" gets to have all kinds if high hopes dashed on the rocks of their family's unwillingness to conform to an unrealistic ideal.

There are also the multiple mothers and "I'm not your mother" problems to contend with.

DH is away for the weekend and I don't think DD1 (nearly 5) realises it is mothers' day.

Lueji Sun 10-Mar-13 08:39:44

Really?

Women expect something from their partners on Mother's day???
Why?

I do something for my mum, I expected ex to do sonething for his, and for him to help DS do something for me.
That's all.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Sun 10-Mar-13 08:41:37

Wrt flowers I think I'd rather have no flowers than garage flowers. A cheap bunch from a flower shop/supermarket would be appreciated, I saw a gorgeous bunch of tulips the other day in M&S for about £5, but there's something about garage flowers.

insanityscratching Sun 10-Mar-13 08:42:35

Dh has always made a big thing about Mothers' Day (because my birthday is Christmas Day and so gets lost in the merriment) and so I have had many, many generous gifts through the years.
It's now though that four of my children are adults that Mothers' Day means the most. They buy their own cards and presents and fill them with their own sentiments but what is special is that we sit and eat a roast I cook and spend time together enjoying being a family.
I probably get smaller gifts now, although dh always sends me flowers from them all, but it's the sense of occasion I enjoy the most and I treasure the fact that I'm still celebrating with my adult children when I lost my own mum at seventeen and never got that chance with her.

Well, my Mother's Day will consist of me and DH taking ds1 and ds2 to 2 different football matches and standing in the cold watching grin

All 3 DCs were at different activities yesterday so I got a not from dd this morning with my coffee saying "we haven't forgotten you mum. But because we do not get our pocket money until Saturday we haven't had a chance to get your pressie. But we have picked it out and we will get it for you in the gap between ds1 and ds2 match. And I am cooking dinner tonight"

I have never expected, or wanted DH to buy me a Mother's Day present tbh. I am not his mother. He bought his mum card and flowers.
There's no lie ins either, due to football matches which start at stupid o clock on a Sunday sad

Emilythornesbff Sun 10-Mar-13 08:50:16

Disagree with op (or should I say dh who has secretly logged on as Pictish) on this.
I like the idea of modest expectations for mother's day rather than expecting lavish bouquets of flowers, expensive lunches and generous gifts but I think it's important to recognise days like this. I think most me do pretty well out of family life (certainly most of the me I know) so it's not too much to ask that they remember to get a card from their little ones and bring up a cup of tea so their wife can have even a small lie in.
I said: BRING UP A CUP OF TEA!

Sugarice Sun 10-Mar-13 08:50:54

Mothers day! I hate all of the sentimental commercial bollocks this day entails along with valentines day shite as well!

Emilythornesbff Sun 10-Mar-13 08:51:22

men not me

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