To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

(189 Posts)

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

WorraLiberty Sat 09-Mar-13 20:52:57

I love my MIL, she's a quietly spoken little Spanish woman with a heart of gold.

I also love my ex MIL, she's really lovely too.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 09-Mar-13 20:53:16

I love my MIL. She can be very selfish, but she has had a hard life in many ways and has finally got to the point where she feels able to put herself first.

She loves the DSs and we talk about shopping grin

TidyDancer Sat 09-Mar-13 20:54:09

I love mine. She's lovely. My mum is also lovely and DP gets on brilliantly with her.

Keepsmilingsunshine Sat 09-Mar-13 20:54:45

I have amazing PIL and get along with them both really well. I have been treated as part of the family since day one with DH - I feel very lucky!

BearsLikeMarmalade Sat 09-Mar-13 20:54:52

I love my MIL, and she is so supportive to us, and DS adores her. I am very lucky. My own DM is a different story though....

Me. Very very rocky start culminating in a huge standoff and almost fisticuffs. I was the first in law amongst her 5 children and we both found that very difficult.

That was a long time ago now and I adore her and FIL. They seem pretty fond of me too and we spend loads of time together without DH needing to be there.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Sat 09-Mar-13 20:55:50

Yes, she's lovely and could not be nicer to me. We didn't have much in common but we've bonded gradually over the last 20 years: she's a gem.

My DM, much though I love her, is a bit of a nightmare MIL to DH and DSIL.

Smartiepants79 Sat 09-Mar-13 20:55:57

Well mine is a lovely lady and overall we get on well.
However, we are very different people and so I sometimes get (silently) irritated.
She is very supportive and would never undermine me in regards to my children.
We just see life differently.
I know she is extremely grateful for her granddaughters.

SashaSashays Sat 09-Mar-13 20:56:43

I love my MIL. Yes she can be annoying, interfering and bossy, there are moments when I could quite happily use her to raise the patio, I've told her to piss off every now and again and we've had a few rows. She never holds back. She parents differently, we don't agree on lots of things and I know she was pretty sceptical about the relationship and marriage.

However, she tries her best, she loves our family, she raised my DH and my own mum gets on my nerves so I cut her some slack, I do MIL the same courtesy. Plus as irritating as it is she has lots of happy healthy children so must know a thing or two and she is a laugh.

MegBusset Sat 09-Mar-13 20:56:45

Me, I love my MIL. She is funny and kind, dotes on the DC and has never ever tried to interfere with my parenting. Unfortunately she is elderly and rather frail so not able to be very hands-on with them but always brings sweets and little gifts for them smile

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sat 09-Mar-13 20:58:04

I like my MIL and she likes me. Always look forward to a G&T and a chat.

Horsemad Sat 09-Mar-13 20:59:24

I'm a disappointment to mine as I hate shopping, soaps and big family get togethers grin
I also voice my disapproval with her DS, (DH) which she thinks is wrong - cause he can do no wrong in her eyes grin grin

We're poles apart but I don't care and can go months without seeing her even though she lives in the same road.

GirlOutNumbered Sat 09-Mar-13 21:00:54

My mother in law is bonkers, DH isn't keen, but I do enjoy her company (in small doses). She seems to like me and often buys me little gifts, which is really sweet.

LatteLady Sat 09-Mar-13 21:02:07

As tomorrow is Mother's day, and I am not married, I am going to put a flag out for my mum and how she was like she was as a MIL. Back in 1939, her mother told her, that if she did not marry my father no-one would have her and she would be on the shelf, she was 23. My father was a difficult man and their marriage was not happy and as a Catholic back then divorce was out of the question... she resolved never to interfere in her children's lives.

I have two brothers and a sister, all of whom divorced, yet their partners kept in touch with my mum. My sister's second husband (very messy divorce from his first wife which still rolls on nearly 30 years later), sat up with her the night before she died... would not leave her, when we asked him afterwards why he would not leave her side, he said, "She never judged me, she always welcomed me... she treated me like her own son, it was so little to do in return."

So yes, there are good MILs... and if I were to be one, I hope I would be like my mum.

TroublesomeEx Sat 09-Mar-13 21:02:45

I have just written a Mother's Day card to my MIL.

She's been absolutely brilliant since my husband revealed himself to be a "fucking arsehole" (her words).

We are very, very different but I think we both find in each other something we need but is lacking in the other people in our lives.

Mine is the main protagonist in the breakdown of my marriage - broken hearted tonight that my children are expressing their hurt and confusion, and neither Husband nor MIL can see the damage they're causing. Crying my eyes out.

YouTheCat Sat 09-Mar-13 21:04:46

I lived with my ex mil for 17 years. She could be nice (if you were in her good books) but everything had to be on her terms and if you disagreed with her she would make life hell having hissy, sweary fits all over the place. This also extended to any neighbours not deemed to be behaving how she thought they should (such as divorced neighbour having a new partner).

She is a loon tbh. But she is getting old and frail now. I don't have to see her often and we can tolerate each other pretty well from a distance.

She's a bit interfering but kindhearted. I get pissed off that DPs sister is clearly the favourite and DP gets treated differently. I'm not really fussed how she treats me, just feel sad for DP.

AnneElliott Sat 09-Mar-13 21:05:54

Me and Mil tolerate each other. Fil is great though and we have a lot in common. Got in better with mil before I had DS. Once there was a GC ( and he was number 4 so not the first) she seemed to want to take over and be much more in our lives than she ever did before. It doesn't help that I don't get on with DM so mil thinks she gets to take over the mum rights.

Dippy001 Sat 09-Mar-13 21:07:19

Nope, she doesn't like me. I now don't like her. :-)

ouryve Sat 09-Mar-13 21:08:00

We get on fine, at a safe distance. We keep contact at the level of a cup of tea for an hour every few weeks and the odd text. It keeps things nice and amicable.

larks35 Sat 09-Mar-13 21:10:00

I get on well with my MIL, we live 120 miles away and I think that probably helps. We are very different in our views and ways but have a mutual respect that borders on love. Our differing views do sometimes rear their head but we both realise that our mutual family is more important than trying to score points off each other in any way. She is very generous with the kids sometimes more than I like and also very supportive to me. I would like to get to know her better, not just as partner to her DS and mother to her DGCs, maybe that'll come.

ItsallisnowaFeegle Sat 09-Mar-13 21:10:01

I just can't like her as a person, however, I respect her as dp's mother.

Can't put my finger on it, as I like to think I give everyone a fair go, I just can't seem to like her.

Hippee Sat 09-Mar-13 21:10:08

My MIL is brilliant. When I had DS1, both my mum and MIL travelled hundreds of miles to be there for the birth - people pulled faces in hospital when I said that they were both staying, but the only downside was that I had to stay in for 4 days and there weren't enough cups of tea/things to iron to go round at home. When she comes to stay, she always gets up with the children and makes me have a lie in! I just hope that my sons' wives have as good a relationship with me when their time comes (will be a while, they are only 6 and 4).

Hugglepuff Sat 09-Mar-13 21:10:08

Get on ok I suppose - we are very different people BUT, that said, she is a brilliant mother and grandmother and I am very grateful for, and respectful of, that.

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