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To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

(189 Posts)

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sat 09-Mar-13 20:33:34

Mine tries but we have a long history of not getting along and I'm still very aware that she doesn't actually think very much of me. The effort to tolerate me and be mostly polite to my face is appreciated though.

HollyBerryBush Sat 09-Mar-13 20:34:01

Mines dead, but we got on very well. She had her moments, I'm quite sure I had mine too grin.

Magimedi Argentina Sat 09-Mar-13 20:34:23

I was.

I hope I will be - I am about to become a MIl & am quaking in my boots about it.

I do. My MIL is lovely, and has always been clear that she thinks we are good parents.

If it evens things up my MIL from my first marriage hated me with a passion!

LtEveDallas Sat 09-Mar-13 20:35:29

I do, really well. I am as close to her as I am to my own mum. I love her.

Tee2072 Sat 09-Mar-13 20:35:38

I do. I have a lovely MIL.

My husband does. He gets on better with my mother than I do, actually.

Hassled Sat 09-Mar-13 20:35:42

I do - have lucked out with mine. She's barking mad - says whatever's in her head - but what's in her head is always very nice.

I'm a MIL myself - and again, have lucked out there. She's lovely.

ScottyDoc Sat 09-Mar-13 20:35:44

I think mine likes me most of the time. Don't know about respect though. Lots of underlying resentment and private thoughts on my side but don't know about her . Main thing is to make an effort and be courteous and decent at all times.

Losingexcessweight Sat 09-Mar-13 20:36:07

I get on with mine really well, she's always sending me messages on fb asking how I am etc.

On my wedding day, she said to one of my aunts

"My son will look after losingexcessweight you know, he will always put her first"

I thought that was quite a nice thing to say.

I've had two. Both passed now. The first didn't like me and I didn't get on with. Mummy's boy she raised took her side. My second was a peach. Lovely, feisty, kind, funny, great. I miss her and so does DH, terribly. It's her birthday this month sad

My MIL is an absolute darling. We've always got along, she's very evenhanded, doesn't interfere, and is incredibly supportive.

Yama Netherlands Sat 09-Mar-13 20:36:46

Your op implies that the default position is one where mils do not respect and like their dil.

I don't agree with that default position.

Spookey80 Sat 09-Mar-13 20:36:49

I generally like mine. She helps us out alot with the dcs and is generally a friend,
I also feel quite responsible for her, as she is on her own, and we are her only real family. My dh had a sister, but she died, so we are her only close family and as I am close to my parents, and dh is lovely, but crap at looking after his mum, I feel I need to do it.
...but we are very different people, and sometimes this means we clash, I can get quite annoyed by her, she is quite stuck in her ways. But at the end if the day we are family.

Anja1Cam Sat 09-Mar-13 20:36:53

Get on very well. In fact I'd say she understands me better than my own mum. She was here for / after birth of DD2 to help with DD1. I don't actually see either more than once or twice a year but the thought of a weeks holiday with MIL appeals (done it twice) while with my mum would be much more stressful! PILs come for a week at Christmas and it's great.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Sat 09-Mar-13 20:37:01

I do, she's lovely. Really looking forward to telling her she's going to be a Nan!

Annunziata Italy Sat 09-Mar-13 20:37:14

I adore my MIL (well, she pisses me off sometimes but so does my own mum!). She was very close to my mum so has really been there for me all my life. I'm very lucky.

Wookiee101 Sat 09-Mar-13 20:37:23

Step MIL as MIL died before I met DH. We haven't spoken to one another in almost 6 years (not even at our wedding 5 years ago), so not liked or respected much from her point of view and I really don't like her.

The only thing I respect about her is the fact she loves our 2 DC even though she hates me and dislikes DH. She considers them her GCs, but I worry about what will happen if her daughter has children, as I think she will lose interest in our DCs.

Stixswhichtwizzle Sat 09-Mar-13 20:37:33

I get on really well with my MIL, she's brilliant.

rocket74 Sat 09-Mar-13 20:38:43

I get on very well with my MIL. I think she much prefers me to her own son who stresses her out. She helps out immensely with our two DC which is hugely appreciated as DS has autism so can be a handful but she dotes on him.
We can chat and go shopping together and one year she surprised me with an amazing Xmas gift of a kiehls box set which was really thoughtful and totally my thing as was feeling really rundown and nervous about returning to work and looking terrible etc.
She hates anything being done for her though so can be quite a trial getting her to accept gifts or even a lift home!
She is getting quite elderly now ...hmm

N0tinmylife Sat 09-Mar-13 20:38:48

I get on with mine. She is lovely. We spend quite a bit of time with her, and it is no hardship.

Locketjuice Sat 09-Mar-13 20:39:14

Tolerate each other. Really don't like Fil. He's a self centred arrogant arse!

freddiefrog Sat 09-Mar-13 20:39:39

On a superficial level yes. She's DH's mum, and my children's granny so I grin and bear it on the odd occasions we are together

She has been pretty horrible over the years though and done/said some very nasty things so it's nothing more than polite conversation

teacher123 Sat 09-Mar-13 20:39:51

I love my MIL. She bought me spa membership for my last birthday and took me to the ballet last week just as a treat. She ADORES 10mo DS and is willing to look after him whenever she is able to, and has enabled me to carry on freelancing even with a baby and a DH who works ridiculous shifts. She never interferes with things, and is just lovely and supportive. And is the most phenomenal cook.

preggersbycheggers Sat 09-Mar-13 20:40:11

Mine is super fantastic. I'm very lucky.

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