Mumsnet Talk

In your house who gets 'their day'?

Is it you, your mum or your partners mum?

I am going to be driving around a lot tomorrow between my mum and dp's mum and won't get time on my own with the dc until we get home for their bedtime by which point ill be shattered and dreading work on Monday.

How will your day go?

No one.

We don't really make a big deal of it tbh.

Me! We call and send presents to our mums.

I get annoyed that MIL gets priority. It's me that looks after 2 young children, hasn't slept in over 2 Yeats and has mastitis

We do things together, but then everyone gets on well, so that makes a big difference.

Tomorrow, there will be DP and I and the two DCs, DM and DSis, BIL, MIL and FIL.

We generally have dinner at PILs because they have a big dining room.

we usually visit both mothers in the morning (we all live in the same city) and then I am waited on for the afternoon . This year though we are treating both sets of parents to lunch at the pub as both MIL and FIL have recently lost their own mothers and my parents have not had a good year health wise.

My mum, and my parents' dead mums. I hate it.

I'll have a rushed present-giving from DD, then drive two hours to my parents', a quick cuppa then drive Mum to the freezing cemetery on top of a hill to plant something on her mother's grave, then drive Dad to the even more freezing beach to throw flowers where he scattered his mother's ashes. Quick cuppa back at theirs, drive the two hours home again.

Hate it!

I'm interested to see how this works, as I had a bit of a battle with my DH last year (and PIL) about the fact that I wanted to see my own mum on Mother's Day. They were appalled. I was confused. I practically had to do a PowerPoint presentation to get out of attending a massive family meal in honour of MIL.

This year PIL are away so we're seeing my mum by default, so nothing's been worked out. Next year, all being well, I'll be a mum, at which point my mum thinks I should be at home being pampered by my DH and enjoying time with him and our child. I would imagine my PIL will just expect DH, me and baby to go over there, once again cutting my family out of the equation.

No idea what to do!

MIL overseas so she will get a phone call off DH and the DCs at some point. I will take the DCs to see my Mum in the afternoon and meet up with dsis and her DCs. So nice family day for us

We used to alternate parents. I refuse to now. It's my weekend. I have two dds and I'm not schlepping anywhere. Cards, presents flowers all by post. Calls on the day via Skype.

Won't be sharing Father's Day either now. My family are priority. They close second.

since if I don't organise it it won't happen we are not seeing MIL or my mum.

By default it is my day but that said kids commitments mean it'll be much the same as usual

Usually me. My db often takes my dm out to lunch on Mother's Day but as he is away this year, I am driving down to her with the two gdc (2 hours + drive), cooking us all lunch and driving back again. But I don't see her all that often and she is elderly so I am quite happy with that.

Dh will be at work.

But, as someone else said up thread, we don't really make a big fuss of mother's day.

My DM asked me not to vist once I became a mother myself, she said I should spend it with my DCs.

Me as I get a lie in and breakfast mad for me we send cards to our mums but thats all

We're going to a birthday party tomorrow. So, I'd say DS2's little friend can take priority.

Me, we don't speak to his Mother, we don't speak to mine. It's great!

Euphemia

I think I may start a petition for you to have a wonderful day of your own next year.

My gorgeous amazing mum gets the royal treatment tomorrow and I love it!
Everyone comes to me so Im cooking, db will be cake so everyones happy.
My mil is with bil so we'll see her in the week well, dh will go

We don't 'do' mother's day. I never want my children to feel obliged to see me or, worse, buy me something.

As the mother of a footballer I will spend most of the day driving ds to and from his football match. That's his priority and that's fine by me.

I should add that I am very lucky as DH's mother is on the other side of the world and their Mother's Day takes place at another time. Usually I get a card and present from DD then we hop in the car and go to my mums, joined by my sister and her DD and we have a few glasses of fizz and some food. DH drives me back bladdered happy and content.

DM and DMiL both have chocolates and cards left "in trust" with DB/DBiL (who live with them respectively). But I don't expect a fuss, its just too far to drive and I need to get some coursework done not mess around on MN.

Me we'll pop round tomorrow and give my Mum her presents and cards,they don't live far from us and we'll be there all of an hour.Husbands Mum lives to far from us to visit so we've sent her cards and gifts.

My DH is very good and so are the children,they all make a big fuss of me.

Bit of a mixed bag really. Used to me as my Mum lived far away so I would send a gift and card and DH would go to see his Mum in the morning then I would get spoilt in the afternoon.
This year however I am going to my Mums with DC for Roast with my DS as she now Lives nearer and DH is making a big thing of taking his Mum out for dinner which totaly pees me off because she doesnt give a monkeys testicle about him the rest of the year

Me! My mum is supposed to be coming for a roast (cooked by DH), but I'm not sure if she's coming now as we're in the middle of a massive fallout.

think I may start a petition for you to have a wonderful day of your own next year.

Thanks!

It's a tough one - I've always gone to my mum's on Mother's Day, since I left home 28 years ago. My grannies would come along too and it was a nice day.

When DD was wee it was nice for her to spend the day with her great-grannies: one died when DD was 1, the other when she was 9.

Last year was my mum's first Mother's Day without her mum, so it felt right to go. My dad hasn't been able to drive for the past two years; he and my mum used to do the flowers on the beach thing in the morning, before DD and I arrived.

I guess I feel sorry for them having no way to get to the cemetery/beach without me, but I hate the day! I can't see how to change it, but I hate that it's become about dead people.