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to think it's cheeky when my friend eats my leftovers?(90 Posts)
Now I probably am being unreasonable, but I have noticed on a few occasions my friend will not order food and then will eat our leftovers.
Such as I ordered a dessert, too big and I couldn't eat it all. She had refused to order a dessert and then when I finished she took a spoon and started eating it herself.
Another time me and a friend had a sharing platter and again didn't finish it and she started helping herself to it.
I guess the food is just going to waste so she might as well eat it but I do think it's quite cheeky still.
I should add, though, that I really dislike eating when other people aren't. I try to avoid it if possible. I probably wouldn't be ordering dessert if she weren't, to begin with.
My dad does this because he can't stand waste. He'll often pay for the whole bill, so it's not a case of being skint or tight. Just doesn't like wasting food, as a result of growing with not enough probably.
I think worrying about what happens to food you don't want, are finished with, can't manage any more of falls into the category of 'life's too short'.
Just offer her your leftovers and then it won't seem so rude because she's been invited to eat them.
Yes., I think it is morally right not to incur waste.
If it was an occasional: "Ooh, its a shame to waste that as it looks so lovely - would you mind if I ate the rest?" I would perfectly happily pass something over to a friend.
Or if it went both ways with both people taking it in turns to finish up each other's leftover food/drink. Then I would also be fine with having people finishing up my stuff as long as I sometimes got a nibble of theirs.
But as it is, with her hovering like a vulture just waiting for cutlery to be downed before just diving into the food without so much as a by your leave, every single time - then I would feel taken advantage of.
I must admit if this was happening to me I would just sit with my fork welded to my hand, periodically nibbling minutely at my food until it was either all gone, the waiter came to clear away, or it was time for us to leave.
Just so she didn't get the chance to score a freebie every time - then maybe she'd start wanting to split dessert (and the price of it) like a normal person, rather than forever snatching up leftovers.
I am a bit of a Joey though, and anyone trying to take my food without permission should reasonably expect to lose a finger or three.
I always finish my main course, and yes sometimes I can't finish eating my dessert.
I'll eat 3/4 of it so I don't really see the problem tbh.
So now you're saying you generally eat everything except about 1/4 of your dessert... So actually you're whining about friend eating a tiny amount of leftover pud.
I hate wasted food so think YABU and a bit petty.
You are being unreasonable, although I'd really hate watching someone eat my leftovers - but I am unreasonable too!
I'd be mad if she didn't order any food and then picked at my own - but as she bought her own, even just the one course it wouldn't bother me.
Time after time I think this would bug me.
Unless I knew my friend was skint, but in that case I would offer to pay for a starter for her.
Tell her you don't like it.
Or when it comes to ordering, say to her "You should order your own pudding, I'm feeling really hungry and I don't think I'll be leaving any this time."
Or ask the waiter to give you a half portion.
Or don't wait for her to take it - give it to her! Then you are in control. You have chosen to give it to her.
It is not about wasting food but about your friend continually trying not to pay for starter/dessert but eat it anyway. That is rude.
A one-off is completely different and I wouldn't mind that at all. It is the repetitive nature of it that makes it unacceptable.
I go with the suggestion that next time you say "do you want to share a pudding then we can split the cost", then you either share and split the cost or she says no and can't reasonably then start eating yours can she? Problem solved
I am surprised at the about of YABUs you've got OP, I definitely think YANBU.
YANBU. She's tight and after freebies.. Agree to those who say ask her before hand if she wants to share your pudding, if she says no and still tucks in split the cost. Either that or put a napkin over it when you're done or idly play with it until the bill comes.
Other option- say "stop eating my left overs, it annoys me. If you want a dessert, order one!"
Actually I think I can kind of see your point - because DH used to do this. I didn't (and don't) mind anyone finishing off anything I've left on my plate- so long as they a) give it a decent interval between my finishing (in case I suddenly find a spare bit of room in my tummy) and b)ask if it's ok.
When DH used to do it, I started feeling a little bit harassed, as he would swoop every time I put my cutlery down, if he thought I was finished. I did actually tap his knuckles with my spoon once, after having told him several times that he should ask first
He doesn't do it to me anymore- but I have caught him doing with ds2's meal!! (Only once, mind)
So, on balance, I think YAprobablyNBU.
Could be worse .
I have an acquaintance who once ate leftovers at a communal table . The rest of the party were complete strangers and she picked from their plates as they were passed up the long table. Now thats minging
At the next meal she attends ,why don't you as friends all routinely pass her your nearly empty plates with the clear expectation that she will eat from them . If she protests just look bewildered and tell her you assumed this is what she wants as she has done so at every other meal you share.
Unless she is just a greedy pig and doesnt care how she appears she will probably be horrified and stop her antics.
However , you might lose a friend.
She is being cheap. As a one off, fine, but every time would really annoy me.
Ask her if she wants to share a dessert, if yes, she can pay for half. If not, either take tiny, tiny bites and make your dessert last really long, keep picking until you see a passing waiter and hand him your plate with the remains. You can then say to your friend "I knew if I kept it in front of me, I would eat the while thing, and I don't need to"
OTT, maybe, but I can't stand cheap people.
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