to think it's cheeky when my friend eats my leftovers?

(90 Posts)
HarlemHallow Fri 08-Mar-13 14:20:11

Now I probably am being unreasonable, but I have noticed on a few occasions my friend will not order food and then will eat our leftovers.

Such as I ordered a dessert, too big and I couldn't eat it all. She had refused to order a dessert and then when I finished she took a spoon and started eating it herself.

Another time me and a friend had a sharing platter and again didn't finish it and she started helping herself to it.

I guess the food is just going to waste so she might as well eat it but I do think it's quite cheeky still.

Speedos Fri 08-Mar-13 14:41:05

Has she got an eating disorder maybe? This is the kind of thing people who have issues with food do! I'm sure she doesn't mean to be rude, might be just really wanting a desert but denying herself, if it's someone elses leftovers it may not make her feel as guily.

Anomaly Fri 08-Mar-13 14:44:03

Out of interest how do you split the bill? If she just paid for her main course while having polished off your starter and dessert I can see why you'd feel a bit put out.

ApplesinmyPocket Fri 08-Mar-13 14:47:00

You and your friend had a sharing platter - MEANT to share food from - and you resent your other friend having a few leftovers when the two of you had given up on it?

Seems very odd to me - odd of you to mind, I mean, not of her - but there you go, we're all different.

HarlemHallow Fri 08-Mar-13 14:49:15

Out of interest how do you split the bill?

I would pay for the dessert and starter etc.

HerLordship Fri 08-Mar-13 14:52:34

I have/had a friend who used to do this. I don't meet up with her anymore mainly for this reason, we just keep in contact via text and FB.

She's not skint, just totally and utterly tight arsed. She'd sit at a soft play centre and order nothing, then ask if her DCs could share my DCs meals. She would then watch me eating my food and pounce on any leftovers. Once she came out without nappies or wipes for her 1 year old, and used my nappies and wipes. I did used to get her and her kids drinks, but after a while of her never reciprocating and just sitting there like a tight arse counting coppers I stopped.

It used to annoy me as she'd scrounge off me, and then on the other hand would be buying new cars, ipads, laptops and designer clothes!

DoJo Fri 08-Mar-13 14:56:54

I don't see the problem - presumably if you didn't order or finished all your food, she would go without and be happy with that, but if you aren't going to eat it, then what's the problem? Does she actually ask before digging in? I could see that might be annoying, but if she does, then it wouldn't bother me.

I think YANBU - it's not about the waste thing for me, it's about her not being upfront about it.

Maybe next time when you order a pudding you could say something like "oo I couldn't eat a whole one, would you like to go halves with me and then we only have to pay for half a pudding each?" - gives her the opportunity to do a 'genuine share' and if she says no then you have every reason to object to her eating the second half when you are done!

It would bother me if a random stranger did it yes, because then that would be weird.

If i'm eating with friends and can't finish something then I usually will say "I'm stuffed, who wants to finish it off?" Would never occur to me to be annoyed by a friend finishing something off.

Bluemonkeyspots Fri 08-Mar-13 15:06:10

I have a similar friend, she always gets the rounds in when everyone has enough mixers and just needs the spirit (mixers are bloody expensive these days)

No matter how much everyone tries to be on their guard againsed it she still manages it everytime.

To make it even worse her mixer is red bull which costs even more than everyone else's coke/irn bru

dummad Fri 08-Mar-13 15:07:23

Well, it just isn't the done thing is it? Yuck .

there's nothing really wrong with this in principle, particularly with respect to waste etc, but if i were your friend, i would offer to split the cost.

especially if this is something that happens regularly, a one-off wouldn't be a problem

InNeedOfBrandy Fri 08-Mar-13 15:09:02

I would eat as much as my pudding as I wanted and then ask for it to be doggy bagged wink

KateDillington Fri 08-Mar-13 15:11:27

I often do this!

I don't want three courses but my friends ALWAYS over order so I finish theirs off.

But we always split the bill equally so it doesn't matter.

I hate waste! Greedy pigs!! ;)

HarlemHallow Fri 08-Mar-13 15:15:11

Does she actually ask before digging in? I could see that might be annoying, but if she does, then it wouldn't bother me.

No, most of the time she just starts eating it.

Would never occur to me to be annoyed by a friend finishing something off.

Wouldn't annoy me either as a one off, but it's being a regular thing now.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 08-Mar-13 15:21:29

So just tell her not to, or that you find it annoying, or disgusting.
Or stop ordering food you can't finish on a regular basis.

Scholes34 Fri 08-Mar-13 15:25:54

OP - would you rather see food go to waste than someone eat it?

LaalRatty Fri 08-Mar-13 15:28:51

You hate people picking food off your plate but order a sharing platter? grin Just leave her be. Me and my friends do this all the time. The only time it bothered me was when a colleague asked if she could come to our meal without paying as she was anorexic and wouldn't be eating. Her business, her prerogative of course etc etc but the cheeky cow sat at the table and started helping herself to the tapas we'd ordered. There were ructions that night.

KobayashiMaru Fri 08-Mar-13 15:33:26

You should just tell her: "listen, I'd rather the food I can't finish go in the bin than you, my friend, have it to enjoy, ok?"

You won't sound at all weird, and she'll know that she's the rude one.

lljkk Fri 08-Mar-13 15:43:44

Just tell her you don't her finishing your dessert, and offer to split one instead (ask staff to bring a spare plate). You're overthinking this.

BramshawHill Fri 08-Mar-13 15:46:59

I wouldn't mind if it was a one-off and they asked to have some.
If she's doing it because she doesn't mind you footing the bill, I'd be annoyed; that's taking advantage.
Next time offer to share a dessert, if she says no thanks then starts tucking in to yours, say you're saving it to take home for later.
Even if you don't, by the time you've paid and are leaving it'll be too late for her to nab some!

Scaredycat3000 Fri 08-Mar-13 15:48:28

So your friend makes a point of not ordering a pudding, then as soon as she has decided you have finished starts eating your pudding without asking or being offered, then pays for only the food she has ordered without offering to pay for the food she actually ate and as far as you know has no money worries?

As a one off that wouldn't bother me, as a regular thing your friend is rude. If you choose to keep going for meals with her I would stop ordering pudding. Surely friendship is about sharing, not taking.

DoJo Fri 08-Mar-13 16:19:45

Does she actually ask before digging in? I could see that might be annoying, but if she does, then it wouldn't bother me.

No, most of the time she just starts eating it.

Ok, well then I can see how that would be annoying. Have you tried saying 'Oi - I've not finished yet' to see if that stops her? How long does she give you before digging in? Is she hovering while you eat? That would drive me mad!

BalloonSlayer Fri 08-Mar-13 16:26:42

I think you're just going to have to steel yourself and eat the whole bloody lot yourself.

That'll show her.

(she might be from a background where everyone had to clear their plates or they'd get shouted at and thinks she's doing you a favour. She might feel uncomfortable seeing leftovers being taken away.)

leeloo1 Fri 08-Mar-13 17:06:29

Stab her hand with your fork when she reaches for your plate? grin

rainbow2000 Fri 08-Mar-13 17:13:35

She is just being tight i would hate it.It would be different if she asked but she doesnt.She is being a fee loading tightarse.
Just split the bill 3 ways next time see how she likes that

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