Regading pre-school d+v policy?

[ariane5]

Dd2 (3) has not been to pre school in a few weeks due to illness (she has diabetes and has had lots of infections lately).

Today I decided I'd take her in for an hour, get her used to it again.

She was ok, having fun but one of the other mums starting telling everybody how her daughter was not well and had spent all day yesterday vomiting and although she hadn't been sick today she still had a stomachace. I was absolutely horrified-the pre school are always reminding parents about the d+v policy but she had clearly just ignored it.

I just picked dd up and took her out straightaway, she was really upset as was having fun but we have been told by her consultant that if she gets a vomiting bug she will have to go into hospital as it'll be hard to control her diabetes.

I was so upset and so angry, I made it very clear to the manager I was not happy.I washed dds hands when we got in but I know I will worry all weekend that she will have caught it.I feel like I overreacted but I am just so scared of dd being ill.she loves seeing her friends but I feel like just giving up on pre school

AIBU

[livinginwonderland]

yanbu, at all. some parents are just selfish.

[noblegiraffe]

I don't think you can blame the pre-school for the selfish mum bringing her dd in. Did you give them a chance to send the sick child home?

[ariane5]

The pre school didn't know it wasn't their fault. As soon as she started talking about it they clearly were not happy.

I didn't stick around though I just wanted dd home amd washed I'm terrified of her being ill again, she has been in+out of hosp so much lately I just took her straight out.

[Buzzardbird]

Complete and utter fuckwit! (Her, not you OP).

My DD's birthday party is a couple of days before Christmas and one parent says to me "Oh, didn't think we were going to make it as (her) DD was up all night throwing up!"

Errr, thanks for exposing a roomful of children to norovirus a couple of days before Christmas.

[CloudsAndTrees]

The policy the pre school has is probably fine, it's implementing it when there are selfish fuckwit parents around that's the problem.

I'd get the pre school to state in their newsletter how serious it can be when parents ignore their rules, and maybe even to write to this woman directly.

[lucamom]

This sounds like a mis-management on the part of the nursery. If they weren't aware before from the mother, they would have been made aware when you told them, and they should have dealt with the mother and had the child taken out for 48 hrs (if that's the policy). They should then follow it up with a blanket reminder letter to all parents.

As a SAHM, I appreciate that I am lucky not to have to lose time from work when my kids are off, but in my own experience too many parents (working and non-working) are quick to send kids back with all sorts of illnesses, without thinking of the consequences for others. I currently have a friend who's SIL is in the final stages of lung cancer, and she can't risk spending time with her because her daughter has picked up a bug from her nursery pal (who's Mom was heard bragging about getting away with sending her in). It also has implications for people not being able to fly with poorly kids, pregnant moms or new babies.

We all know pre-schools are a breeding ground, and that it's good for a kid's immunity, but you have a responsibility to your own and other kids to keep them off when they're sick.

[ariane5]

I just feel like giving dds place up, she's constantly unwell anyway and picks up every bug.
She really loves seeing her friends though, I'm tempted to just arrange play dates instead so she's not exposed to as much and still gets to socialise.

[Buzzardbird]

It's really hard ariane knowing what to do in your situation. If you arrange playdates then your DD will still be exposed to the bugs anyway and doesn't get to socialize in a wider circle. I found it made my DD a more confident child even though consultant told me not to put her in nursery and it is untrue that it helps their immunity.

I thought long and hard about it as the consultant made me feel like a bad mother. I relayed my concerns to the staff at nursery and they did their very best to inform me in they suspected a child may have been ill.

She caught bugs and ended up in hospital every time but what she gained from pre-school was invaluable IMO.

[ariane5]

Dd really loves her pre school but I am terrified of her getting ill.

Maybe I could ask the pre school to send a letter out reiterating the policies and hope that other parents keep to rules about d+v etc.

Dd has had all jabs incl a chicken pox one and will get flu jab each year so I'm doing all I can to protect her but I worry so much

[noblegiraffe]

Do the other parents know your daughter's situation? Maybe the mother wouldn't have done it if she'd known that she was actually potentially putting your daughter in hospital?

[ariane5]

The other parents do know about dds health problems but I do not think she realised how serious it could be for dd.

She's actually always seemed really nice I was just annoyed that she had ignored the d+v policy. Even if dd was perfectly healthy I'd still be annoyed as a sickness bug is not nice for any child to catch.

[ProudAS]

Did the manager send the sick child home Ariane and is your DD OK? I did hear talk of a norovirus vaccine but think it's a way off yet.

A letter stating that there is a child in pre school who could be hospitalised by d&v might just make other parents think.

Its easy to get judgemental of parents who send dcs to school after they have been sick but do remember that the sickness may have been down to some other reason such as food intolerance (in which case I would have hoped that the other mother would reassure you). My colleague's ds got excluded from nursery for two days after being slightly sick due to reflux. This was despite a letter from the dr stating that he had this condition and there was no need to exclude him in such circumstances.

[manchestermummy]

YANBU. My DD has just had three days off school with a stomach bug. She ended feeling horribly weak and all she wanted to do was sleep. There is a dad at school who is always telling me about which one of his three children has been throwing up all night. DD is otherwise healthy but there is a girl in the other class being treated for cancer (the two classes often mix). I got the bug from DD1. Some people are beyond selfish.

[manchestermummy]

Oh and sorry, but my judgy pants are hoiked to my ears on this one. It is wrong. Fair enough some things happen out of the blue, but if you know your child is ill keep them off!!!!!!! I work, by the way, so this is not someone who is always available in the day talking.