to be absolutely bloody furious with my DC?

(129 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Tue 05-Mar-13 18:54:56

Came home from work at 6 to find the fridge wide open thanks to either DS1 or 2. The contents were warm, meaning it has clearly been open all day. So have just spent the last 45 mins chucking the entire contents of the fridge (maybe £60 worth at a guess).

This is a fortnight after DS2 left the freezer open all night and I had to throw everything out.

Both deny it was them, neither has apolgised or gives much of a shit. I have cried because its money I can ill afford to waste, let alone that as I don't drive it is hard work restocking the fridge in one go.

They are 14 and 11 btw, so not babies.

"They are now banned from x box until one of them owns up. I suspect it may be some time."
In which case I would consider selling the XBoxes. Yes, both of them. One is getting punished for wasting food, the other for covering for them, and both for just not caring. Proceeds to be used to restock the fridge and freezer. Both boys on boring cheap beans-on-toast type meals until the end of the month. And yes it is very harsh. But I could not accept them not caring less; hence being so harsh to drive the point home.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 05-Mar-13 20:19:19

Blimey, there are some really mean people on here aren't there.

Strip their rooms completely and starve them grin

SecretNutellaFix Tue 05-Mar-13 20:22:41

I would sell their TV's to be honest.

No TV means they can't play xbox anyway. Plus if they actually want to watch something they have to share the one in the living room, share the games console, share the punishment fully.

ImperialBlether Tue 05-Mar-13 20:26:56

The thing is that each of them must have been in the kitchen and seen the fridge door was open. It doesn't really matter who originally left it open. They both saw it was open and did nothing. It's totally unacceptable.

It must be awful for you to do so much for them financially and have them not appreciate it.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 05-Mar-13 20:35:10

You can think you've shut it you know and it isn't. Sometimes the rubber gets worn and it just doesn't shut properly unless you actually make sure it's shut.

Was it left "wide open"?

As for these punishments, most of them are so harsh they border on ridiculousness on this thread.

Have you ever lost your keys? have you ever thought you locked something and you didn't? have you ever not screwed a top on a bottle properly due to another distraction? The list is endless.

If a child/teen does it somehow it's seen as being a terrible disrespectful thoughtless thing to do.

I don't punish my child I speak to him, never have and never will do.

He's a truly wonderful teen.

TheSeniorWrangler Tue 05-Mar-13 20:38:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy Tue 05-Mar-13 20:41:30

Meat and fish would not begin to smell bad after being in a fridge with the door open all day. It just would not!

Tee2072 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:44:49

I really don't get how things could be beginning to smell after only being out for what? Less than a day?

I think you over reacted and smelt things that weren't there.

LineRunner Tue 05-Mar-13 20:45:36

Do you live in a really hot country?

arghhelpme Tue 05-Mar-13 20:53:52

Could it have been an accident? My fridge door normally closes with a little nudge. I came downstairs this morning to a warm fridge packed full of food as a bag of spinach fell slightly causing the door to not close properly.

All my own fault though, i should have checked properly.

But no yanbu to be furious, i was quite pissed off with myself this morning.

VelvetSpoon Tue 05-Mar-13 21:01:28

I think some fridge lights might go off...but the one in my fridge doesn't. Likewise the one in my freezer.

I could smell something 'off' from when I walked in through my front door. The stuff nearest the front of the fridge definitely smelled bad.

We live in London, so not exactly a warm country! but my kitchen does get, and stay warm unlike the rest of the house

mermaidbutmytailfelloff Tue 05-Mar-13 21:07:29

My fridge is tilted backwards (a couple of tiles under the front feet. Let go of the door and it shuts fairly fast, therefore no one leaves it open.

Milk sloshes a bit though in the door - but a small price to pay.

The thing is that each of them must have been in the kitchen and seen the fridge door was open. It doesn't really matter who originally left it open. They both saw it was open and did nothing. It's totally unacceptable.

^^This is the reason I would have to find a suitable punishment. How many seconds does it take to shut a fridge door?

The original offence may have been an accident, but they didn't care.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 05-Mar-13 21:10:18

I love your solution mermaid. In fact I'm off tomorrow and am going to tilt it!

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 05-Mar-13 21:11:47

So a couple of teens accidentally left the fridge open.
And people are suggesting more and more inventive punishments which was in my eyes an act of carelessness and one of those daft teen moments.
I think National Service is the answer myself.wink

ClippedPhoenix Tue 05-Mar-13 21:13:49

"suitable punishment"

Really? Blimey.

You do know that teen brains actually unravel before they ravel again surely?

I'd advise not to take a thing off them, tilt the fridge and understand accidents happen.

Otherwise the OP is/does sound like a bit of a harpy and of course they are going to block her out.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 05-Mar-13 21:16:03

My DS from the age of 11 until 15 actually may have even forgot his name! Things are going on in them and we as parents need to make allowances not punishments.

parakeet Tue 05-Mar-13 21:16:32

This might sound is off the point, but I find it hard to understand how you can afford all that gadgetry, when the loss of £60 makes you cry. I also think you were imagining the meat smelling bad and the salad turning brown I'm afraid. That doesn't happen after 8 hours at 20 degrees C.

TheOldBamboo Tue 05-Mar-13 21:22:10

Some of these punishment ideas are mental. Sell both the x-boxes, sell their TV, Sell a kidney!

Don't do any of the more extreme punishments OP, I would go for the far more sensible option of sticking a lock on the fridge for a couple of weeks.

WorriedTeenMum Tue 05-Mar-13 21:22:27

How about this as a recipe for encouraging contrition and a responsible attitude to fridge shutting:

OATMEAL SOUP.
1 oz margarine
2 medium onions, grated or finely diced
2 tablespoons oatmeal
1 pint cold water
salt and pepper
½ pint milk
3 medium carrots grated
Heat the margarine in a pan, add the onions and cook for 5 minutes. Blend the oatmeal with the cold water, tip into the pan and stir as the mixture comes to the boil; season lightly. Simmer steadily for 30 minutes, stirring frequently, then add the milk and carrots and cook for a further 15 minutes.

- in case you are wondering, it is a British Restaurant recipe

Three days of that and I would be confessing to anything!

VelvetSpoon Tue 05-Mar-13 21:35:41

Tilting the fridge is a great idea. However there is so little clearance at the top of my fridge (it has cupboards built over/to the side of it) I am not sure it will work. Plus the bloody thing (even empty) weighs a ton. But will give it a go, nothing ventured etc.

As to why does the loss of £60 make me cry...because losing any money would upset me, I might have a good job and some nice things, but I'm not frivolous. Most of the gadgetry the DC have was birthday/Xmas presents from me and their father (who is a feckless spendthrift, but we'll say no more about that...).

It's their attitude to it all which annoys me, but possibly that is just them being teens (or almost teens in DS2s case).

Mintyy Tue 05-Mar-13 22:01:19

I can see why them leaving the fridge door is annoying, I really can.

But if I had done that as a teen and my Mum had tantrummed and thrown £60 worth of perfectly good food away I would have lost a bit of respect for her, tbh.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 05-Mar-13 22:05:00

OP, being kind, understanding and speaking to them is the key, it is in this house anyway.

Accepting that they forget everything but their heads helps. They are usually very upset because they have done it in the first place.

Banging on and punishing in my opinion isn't the right way to go.

Choose battles wisely OP now.

timidviper Tue 05-Mar-13 22:21:17

I disagree with you absolutely Phoenix. Having raised 2DCs to adulthood I agree you would not want to be unkind but think you have to set standards of behaviour that must be adhered to. Teenagers need boundaries and consequences.

I think you should sit them down and explain that it is totally unaccetable that someone left it open, nobody shut it and they don't care that you are inconvenienced and footing the bill. This has cost you £60 and, as no-one has confessed, they are both equally culpable so you will be confiscating..............until they repay that amount by doing chores for you.

A little bit of slave labour never hurt!

AngelWreakinHavoc Tue 05-Mar-13 22:23:08

I probably would have shut the door, shouted a bit then forgot about it smile

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